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'Strange and awkward': Expectant mum breaks 'sacred' baby shower rule

"Why exclude them? Why did that actually become a thing?"

Adrian Portelli's lavish baby shower for partner

So much has changed about having a baby in just the last decade - even the approach to welcoming a little one is vastly different.

We now have gender reveals... and pregnancy parties that involve the dads.

If you're a Gen X-er like me, let me assure you, that's not a factual mistake - the baby daddies are literally at the baby showers these days.

Baby showers no longer simply involve a group of women eating little sandwiches and playing games with disposable nappies, apparently. Hurrah!

It's really the way it should always have been... but not every middle-aged woman is as cool and open-minded as I am. For example, one poor expectant mum has revealed that her desire to have her husband attend her baby shower is proving problematic with her super traditional family.

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"It's his baby too"

Posting in an advice needed group, the woman explains:

"My baby shower is Saturday and we did ladies only.

"However my husband wants to attend and celebrate our baby. My mum and sister think it would be awkward if he is there and said he should come towards the end to say hi and help me load the car.

"However, I feel like why could he not be if he wants to be?

"He said he doesn’t want to come if he is unwelcome, but also I feel like it is his baby and if he wants to spend the afternoon surrounded with all the women of our family, that is his choice!"

She ends the post by asking, "Did anyone have an all girl shower but your husband was there?"

Image: iStock
Image: iStock

RELATED: My husband was the worst part of my traumatic birth

"We are both becoming parents"

We asked the Kidspot team and readers what their thoughts were on husband/partners being at baby showers. All of them didn't see the issue.

"My husband came to my baby shower and I wouldn't have had it any other way. We both had the opportunity to celebrate and be celebrated. I would have hated being the only one recognised, when we were both becoming parents." - Priya

"I don't see why it needs to be a female-only event? I think it's old school to treat them the same way you would a bridal shower - it's not just about mum." - Leigh

"My husband didn’t but I wish he did to be honest. I was so overwhelmed and cried the whole time. I would have much preferred a more casual mixed event such as a bbq where we just celebrated the baby and both parents." - Ella

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"Female only baby showers are strange"

Most commenters on the post also agreed with the expectant mum.

"He is literally the reason you’re pregnant," one observed. "We don’t do it alone. I feel like it’s robbing the partner of the experience by not including them. Especially since he wants to come."

She added, "The whole female only baby showers is strange to me. Both of mine have been co-ed and literally every other shower I have been to has also been male and female. I don’t get it."

Many concurred, such as this person: "There are so many men out there who seem to not give a F about their wife and baby. Then we have a husband who is so excited that he actively wants to be a part of the celebrations and he is pushed out? So weird to me. Let him come and experience the joy."

Finally, a woman summed up the thread's  general sentiment, writing, "He’s the dad! Let him celebrate his baby lol. And he’s your husband, not some random one night stand."

Originally published as 'Strange and awkward': Expectant mum breaks 'sacred' baby shower rule

Original URL: https://www.thechronicle.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/strange-and-awkward-expectant-mum-breaks-sacred-baby-shower-rule/news-story/ef4649d58ffdedda5fcf9c7117b30400