My mum told me sex would be better after having kids. She was bang on

“I found it easier to multi-orgasm with your dad. Sometimes I could have three in one session.”

My mum has always been pretty open about sex. 

When I say she is prone to oversharing, I mean it. 

Even now, at age 76, she often waxes lyrical about how her and my 80-year-old dad have a very active sex life, and I cringe.

“By all means, go hard, mum, just don’t tell me about it,” I say to her, laughing. 

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"My sex life improved astronomically"

When I was pregnant with my first child, I remember being secretly terrified about how childbirth would impact my nether regions.

To overshare myself, I was really worried that I would end up like the Grand Canyon down there and that my sex life would never be the same.

I decided to ask mum about it.

She had given birth four times, after all, and didn’t mind talking about these things.

“Actually, darling, my sex life improved astronomically after kids,” she told me. 

“I found it easier to orgasm and became multi-organismic. Sometimes I could have three in one session with your father.”

Ok, so maybe I didn’t need quite so much detail, but her reply did give me hope that my sex life had a future.

In those first six weeks after having my son, I was too scared to even look down there with a mirror.

The birth had been pretty full on and I ended up with third-degree tears and stitches.

Image: Supplied

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But after a couple of months, I felt like everything had healed.

I’d been doing my pelvic floor exercises religiously and felt ready to get back on the horse, so off we went.

I remember that first time being slightly uncomfortable, but my husband was very supportive and gentle.

We took our time and used plenty of lubrication, and it was nice to feel connected in that way again.

Slowly, with time, the sex got better and better, and before long, I was really enjoying it again. 

"New level of intimacy"

I did find breastfeeding caused a bit of dryness down there, but we used lubricant to help with this.

It turned out that all of my fears had been for nothing.

Lo and behold, I ended up reaching the same conclusion as my mum: sex was better after having children.

I think there were a few reasons for this.

For one, I felt a lot closer to my husband after the birth of our son.

Of course I loved him pre-childbirth, but he’d seen me at my absolute most vulnerable and supported me through the experience.

I knew that he had my back completely and loved me no matter what. 

It opened me up to a new level of intimacy.

I also felt like something changed physically down there after childbirth.

Apparently childbirth can shift your pelvic anatomy and make you more sensitive to stimulation. 

Many women report feeling like their G-spot has ended up in a new location after childbirth, and I wouldn't disagree.

For me, it became easier for me to have an orgasm, and whereas in the past I’d struggled to have either a clitoral one or an internal one, suddenly I could have both.

My orgasms also became more intense after having kids.

So, for others out there who may be harbouring those same fears as I did, I wanted to say that it will all turn out ok.

You will heal.

 Yes, your vagina will stretch if you have a vaginal birth, but it’s elastic and in most cases, it will eventually return to near its pre-birth size. 

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Being pregnant and giving birth is a life-changing experience.

Having a baby to love at the end makes the toll on your body worthwhile, but it’s nice to know there may be other bonuses to enjoy, too.

At least, that’s what I (joyfully) found.

Originally published as My mum told me sex would be better after having kids. She was bang on