My friend is always late to pick up her son from me

"But that's not even the worst bit," the frustrated mum tells Kidspot. 

My nine-year-old son, Leo*, made a solid friendship with Noah, another boy in his class.

Noah loves coming around to our house and he is probably over once a fortnight or so, usually on the weekends.

While his mum, Chloe, always asks beforehand whether it is okay for Noah to visit, she isn’t so great when it comes to picking him up on time and it's a problem that is progressively getting worse.

At the beginning of the year when Noah came around, Chloe was always on time. If we decided on 4 pm, she would be there right on the dot. She was never more than a minute late.

But as time went on and Noah came over more and more, Chloe started to become late picking him up.

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The mum was later and later. Source: iStock

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"First it was 10 minutes then, she's an hour late"

At first, it was 10 minutes or so, nothing major and that didn’t really bother me. I mean I understand that delays happen – 10 minutes late is bad traffic or getting stuck in the wrong grocery line.

Although Chloe never mentioned the fact that she was late, or apologised for it when it happened, again, this didn't really bother me because it could easily be viewed as incidental.

But then about halfway through the year, 10 minutes turned into half an hour here or there, and then one day it became an hour. 

When Chloe was an hour late for the first time, I texted her to make sure everything was okay because I was worried that something bad had happened, like she’d broken down, or there was an emergency.

My other worry was that I had misheard our conversation and was meant to drop Noah off and she was waiting for me. So, I sent her a text asking if all was okay and if she needed me to drop Noah home instead. But I didn’t receive a reply.

Finally, Chloe arrived. She didn’t mention my message, nor did she acknowledge or apologise for being late, she just acted as if all was fine.

Not being one for confrontation, although I thought it was odd, I just let it go and gave her the benefit of the doubt that it was a one-off.

I should have known better though. After this day when she was one hour late, well it became the norm. After a few weeks of this, her lateness grew even more- up to three hours one Saturday afternoon.

While having Noah at our house isn’t an issue, he is a lovely kid and no trouble at all, never knowing when his mum is going to arrive to collect him is an issue.

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"She clearly doesn't value our time"

Over the past few months, I have had to cook Noah dinner because he was still at our home when we were eating. I have also had to apologise to other people for being late to events we were meant to be attending because we couldn’t leave home on time.

There was even one occasion when we had to cancel our plans because of this.

Despite texting Chloe when she has been late, she never ever replies, she just acts as if nothing has happened when she finally does arrive. Worse though, not once has she said sorry.

I am now at the point where I’m uncomfortable raising the issue because I feel like it has happened too many times to say anything, that my opportunity passed long ago. It is also making me hesitant to allow Noah to come around now which I feel terrible about.

I have even said no a few times when Chloe has asked, pretending we were busy. Other times I have suggested that Leo goes to their house instead because at least then I know that I won't be impacted by her lateness.

It is just such a tricky situation to be in, I want the boys to be friends and I know it isn’t Noah’s fault, but I can't comprehend how Chloe can be so rude and inconsiderate.

She clearly doesn’t value our time, nor thinks what she is doing is wrong. I just want her to pick her child up when she says she is going to, and I don’t think it is too much to ask for.

*Names have been changed for privacy reasons

Originally published as My friend is always late to pick up her son from me