My colleague called me a 'lazy mum' because of this school lunchbox act
"I can't tell you my name because I don't want more trouble at work," a furious woman shares with Kidspot.
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If you work in an office, you'll know that there's always that person who needs to comment on what you're having for lunch.
In this story, let's call her... Brenda.
Well, Brenda is a little younger than me, and is super judgy about what I bring from home.
"Oooh, that looks like a treat! That looks super fancy!" she'll say as I bring my leftovers of microwaved pasta back to my desk, for example. It sounds like a compliment, but if you know any workplace Brendas, you'll know it's a snark.
And even though I rarely respond, she evidently thinks I appreciate her lunchbox commentary every. single. day.
But it's what she said recently about my daughter's school lunchbox is what finally sent me over the edge.
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"You don't make that effort for your daughter?!"
One of the women on the team we work on flippantly said the other day, "Chelsea won't eat her sandwiches at school anymore, it's driving me nuts" - the standard kind of comment those of us who are mums occasionally make to each other.
A few of us groaned and empathised with her frustration, because all we want is our kids to be nourished during the day.
I chimed in, "Gosh, I gave up! I've given my daughter lunch money for the canteen every day since she was in Year Five."
Everyone looked at me, curious, so I added, "When she stopped eating what I'd pack in her lunchbox, I finally gave in and let her make her own choices at the canteen - like a lot of her friends were doing. The school offers healthy stuff so I'm okay with that."
The mums got it - I was choosing my battles - but Brenda was AGHAST.
"You pack such fancy lunches for yourself, but not for your kid? You're a lazy mum! I'll never do that when I become a mum!"
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"I pack a recess box for her..."
"It's five meals out of about 140 a week, so I think it's okay," I snapped back -and quickly regretted it.
Brenda just raised her eyebrows and turned back to her work.
But I felt like I'd been shamed - and I felt ashamed. Was I a bad mum for throwing leftovers into Tupperware for myself for the day, but allowing my girl to order what she wanted at the canteen?
"I pack a recess box for her," I offered feebly. "I just figure lunch is something she likes her independence on."
Brenda didn't care. She'd had yet another chance to be snide about food - this time about a lunchbox she'd never even seen!
Standing up for myself turned out to be a mistake with someone so confident in her judgements, and now it's been more tense than usual. Which isn't pleasant at work.
But then again, I think of all the many years leading up to handing over canteen money; the special cooling containers I'd buy, the lovingly shaped expensive fruit... and hope that one day if Brenda's a mum she'll be eating her words for lunch.
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Originally published as My colleague called me a 'lazy mum' because of this school lunchbox act