Maternity leave was mind-numbingly boring. There. I said it.

"I couldn't wait to get back to work for this one reason."

Before I had kids, the idea of being on maternity leave and having an extended amount of time off work seemed like a dream come true! 

What’s not to love about long, leisurely lunches with other new mums? Lazy afternoons lying on a rug in the sunshine with my bundle of joy.

When I was pregnant, I’d see mothers in their activewear pounding the pavement with their prams and think, “yeah, that looks heavenly”.

“I’ll rock that.”

And so, when I had my son at 30, I took 12 months off and really bonded with him. 

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"The novelty of maternity leave felt amazing"

We'd spend our days going for walks or reading books, occasionally popping into the local library for rhyme time or catching up with my mothers’ group.

I really enjoyed the time together, and the novelty of being on maternity leave felt amazing. 

When I eventually sent my son to daycare at age one, I struggled handing him over and it took me a while to get back into my work mindset.                

Three years later, I fell pregnant with baby number two. By that point, I’d started my own business and it was going really well.

Towards the end of my pregnancy, my husband asked how long I wanted to take off work?

“I think six months will be plenty,” I said.

“Are you sure?” he asked. “We can make it work if you want to take more time off.” But I shook my head.

I got a contractor to help me manage my clients while I tried to throw myself into the things I’d enjoyed during my first maternity leave. 

It was all fine and dandy for a few weeks, but after a few months of walking around shopping centres aimlessly, doing baby swimming lessons, attending library events and coffee dates, I was over it.

Melissa in love with her baby, but not maternity leave. Image: supplied

RELATED: I’m on maternity leave, my toddler is in daycare

"I didn't want to be that parent"

I found it hard trying to fill the days and think of things to do with my newborn. Sometimes I’d find myself looking at the clock counting down until dinnertime, and I didn’t want to be that parent. 

Towards the end of the six months, I couldn't wait to jump back into work. For me, it felt like an escape from the monotony of being on maternity leave.

When I fell pregnant with baby number three, I only took a few months off work.

Again, I tried to enjoy life in the slow lane, but part of me yearned to use my brain in a way that fulfilled me.

“I’m out,” I told my husband after three months. “It’s back to work for this Mumma.”

"I needed more stimulation"

Sometimes I feel guilty, like I'm a bad parent for wanting to work while my babies were really small. 

I could lie and say it was the financial motivator that made me do it. But in all honesty, I needed more stimulation than changing nappies and playing peek-a-boo 24/7. 

I take my hat off to stay-at-home parents who can do that around the clock, because frankly I think it’s a much harder job than going to a paid one.

Personally, I found that I was a better parent when I had balance. Time to do what I love – which is writing – and time to be with my children.

Originally published as Maternity leave was mind-numbingly boring. There. I said it.