Julie Cross: Gen Z’s phone habits irks me as the mum of a teenager

Like millions of parents across Australia who find it impossible to communicate with teens, Julie Cross writes that she knows the no-response phenomenon is not just her son ignoring her.

‘Where r u?’

It’s my most common text.

My husband always replies.

My 18-year-old? Less so.

The messages start as lower case, sometimes with a smiley emoji, but as the hours go by, especially if it is late at night and I want to go to bed, they turn into capital letters with exclamation marks.

Like millions of parents across Australia, I find it impossible to communicate with my teenager.

Gen Z just don’t like to answer phone calls and in some cases, text messages too.

But at last I can blame the no-response phenomenon, it’s not just my son ignoring me.

Gen Z just don’t like to answer phone calls. And in my cases text messages too.

Sometimes, I message him on Instagram, just to catch him off guard.

Snapchat is his preferred method, but this Gen X-er can’t get to grips with it.

I occasionally try and call, and sometimes miraculously he answers, but I prefer a text and so does he.

Don’t get me wrong, he often replies, sometimes hours later. And when he does, everything is good with the world.

But when he doesn’t, it is beyond infuriating because we both know his phone is always within reach.

I’m usually calling to help him out anyway; what do you want for dinner, need anything from the shop?

That is why not getting a reply is so hugely annoying.

And that is the crux of the problem.

In this day and age 99.9 per cent of people don’t let their phones out of their sight, so if they don’t reply it feels very personal.

We have also got used to knowing what everyone is doing all the time.

And in my case, where I am trying to check in with a teenage P-plater, if there’s radio silence it is easy to jump to completely irrational conclusions.

*He has had an accident (he’s a P-plater, did I mention that?).

Teenagers iften don’t reply to their parents despite having a phone nearby.

*He’s broken down (very likely with his disastrous Holden Commodore).

*He’s been beaten up (it’s been 2 minutes and 33 seconds since I sent my text, should I start calling hospitals?).

*He’s having a good time (me trying to be a cool mum).

*His phone has run out of battery (his most common excuse whether true or not and the most likely explanation).

*Or all of the above (this happens when my messages are now being written in capital letters accompanied by numerous exclamation marks and where I am switching between blood-boiling anger and utter panic).

To him the time of day matters little, but to me, once it gets dark the anxiety levels increase.

When I was a teenager, my parents could never get hold of me either, the reason being back then normal people didn’t have mobile phones because they were the size of bricks.

It didn’t stop my mum worrying, but there was nothing she could do.

While I sometimes wish I could turn back the clock to the 80s, the kids of today definitely wouldn’t want that because when they need something – most often a quick bank transfer – they expect an immediate response.

The texts come thick and fast and go something like this.

“Mum.”

“Can I have some money, pretty pls, I’ll pay you back on Monday?”

“Muuum.”

“Muuuum!!

“WHERE R U!!!”

Originally published as Julie Cross: Gen Z’s phone habits irks me as the mum of a teenager