'Joining a Facebook mums group was the worst thing I could have done'

“It's just people always getting on top of each other. And everyone's hormonal."

The world of Facebook mum groups is savage. 

It’s where opinions are as abundant as dirty nappies and are as unwanted as a sick call from daycare. 

No one knows that more than Jamie.       

The mum of three from Perth has drawn so many battle swords in Facebook mum groups she’s found herself banned from them. 

"I'm not going to beat around the bush. I will say these are the facts,” Jamie told Kidspot.  

Jamie has been kicked out of Facebook mum groups and says they're like "toxic workplaces." Image: Supplied

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"There just to get validation"

She says Facebook mum groups aren’t what they’re positioned to be. 

They’re not a virtual village where mums can come to lean on one another and share the love. 

In fact she likens these groups to be the same as “toxic workplaces.” 

“It's just people always getting on top of each other. So, it's kind of like that and everyone's hormonal,” she explained. 

While she says there are mums who use the groups for genuine reasons, there’s others who don’t. 

Jamie has found herself having to call out misinformation on when to start feeding baby solids, how to fit car seats correctly and childcare subsidy information. 

“I feel like there's quite a few mums that are there just to get validation that, 'Okay, so I know what I'm doing is wrong, but I want to see that other people are doing the wrong thing,” she said.  

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"A punch in the guts"

A mother on the group recently rubbed her the wrong way after complaining on the forum about not being able to get access to the childcare subsidy.

The poster said that it was because her husband earned more than $500,000 a year. 

To be eligible to claim child care subsidy your family income must be under  $535,276 a year. 

It left Jamie irritated. So she commented. 

“She said that the child care subsidy is like a handout,” Jamie explained. 

“She wasn't going to be wanting to use it to go back to work. She specifically stated multiple times that she just wanted a break from her children and it'd be nice to have them in daycare for a couple of days a week.” 

But it was tension around a car seat installation that saw her access to the group revoked for good. 

“There was a lady constantly giving incorrect car seat advice and I would constantly call her out,” Jamie explained. 

So Jamie blocked the mother to keep her peace of mind. However, that mum went on to become the group admin. 

“She didn't like that I blocked her and then I kept calling her out. So as soon as she became admin I got booted and I got met with a horrible message as to why,” Jamie said.  

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"Quite problematic"

She believes the situation has only gotten worse with the introduction of anonymous commenting. 

“The fact now that people can hide... That has become quite problematic,” she said. 

“I think people think they can't put my name and face to this. I'm just going to be as brutal and horrible as I want."

Jamie also says the monitoring of these groups needs to improve. 

She claims many groups are “run by first time mums” who are busy after having a baby, leading to a “free-for-all.” 

Jamie believes Meta should have stricter guidelines in place particularly when medical information is being discussed. 

“As soon as a medical term pops up I think it should be flagged and it should be sent to the admins,” she said. 

She believes new mothers should avoid these groups and know that everything said in them shouldn’t be taken as bible. 

“I think as a first-time mum, just experience it without everyone else's input around you,” she advised.

Originally published as 'Joining a Facebook mums group was the worst thing I could have done'