I won't financially support my sister because she chose to be a single mum

"I have no issue with people choosing to be single parents if they can afford it. But I don't believe it's fair to ask others to finance such a personal choice."

"I (32M) have a sister, Emily (34F), who has always wanted to be a mother, but she hasn't been able to find the right partner," an anonymous man began his now-viral post in the AITA forum on Reddit.

"After years of waiting, I suggested she consider IVF treatment. I even helped her research the process and find clinics. She loved the idea and decided to go ahead with it."

He explained that while Emily had the financial means to afford IVF on her own, she had to cut back on creature comforts and luxuries for the foreseeable future.

Then, two months ago, after her fourth round of treatment, she got pregnant.

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"The whole family is very happy for her and she's happy too," the brother continued.

"She didn't expect it to take so many rounds of treatment, though, so the bill ended up higher than she was prepared for. She does have enough money to support herself, but not very comfortably."

Given her situation, Emily asked her family for financial help so she wouldn’t have to make even more sacrifices.

Her parents are retired and living on a fixed income, so they couldn't contribute much, leaving the OP as her main source of potential financial support.

Last week she sat him down and asked him for money, however, she didn't get the response she was hoping for.

Image: IStock

"I have no issue with people choosing to be single parents if they can afford it. But I don't believe it's fair to ask others to finance such a personal choice, especially when there are significant long-term financial commitments involved," he wrote.

"I have a wife and a newborn son. While we do have some extra money, we're using it to keep our own little family comfortable and save for a bigger house (currently live in a single bedroom apartment). I told Emily that I wouldn't be able to help her foot the bill."

Emily was apparently "heartbroken" and "furious." She argued that family is "supposed to support each other" and that he was being "selfish and judgmental."

His parents were also upset with him, saying that he wasn't being a good brother.

"They think I should help her because she's family and this is her dream," he revealed. "They're especially upset because it was my idea, and I helped her research it. I offered to help Emily by letting her eat dinner with us nightly since she lives nearby and letting her use my car, which is cheaper to run since it's electric. She said that's not nearly enough."

The man concluded his post by re-stating his stance before handing the floor over to other forum members to weigh in.

"I have my own family to think about and financial goals to achieve. I feel it's unreasonable to put myself in a difficult financial position for something that is Emily's personal choice, even if I initially suggested it. So, AITA for not supporting her financially?"

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Commenters called the sister "entitled"

Commenters reassured the man, and some offered their own solutions to the sister's financial struggles.

"You are NTA. I understand why you don’t help her. It’s a bit entitled to think other people are responsible for her choices. She should have saved up before trying a fourth round of IVF," said one.

"Right? Why have IVF if you can’t afford the resulting child," replied a second.

"She wants you to give her money because she doesn't like being frugal, so she doesn't cut down on her luxuries?! What a joke," exclaimed someone else.

Another made the point: "She should have stopped when she couldn't afford it anymore. Who goes to the doctor with a blank check? She was irresponsible and it's not like she's about to be homeless, she just has to make cuts."

"Can she move in with your parents?" asked someone else.

"Maybe you could sit down with her and help her flesh out a budget?" another suggested.

What would you do? Tell us in the Facebook comments. 

Originally published as I won't financially support my sister because she chose to be a single mum