I will never say 'miscarry' again because I didn't 'mis' anything
"It is not my fault that I experienced pregnancy loss. It's not my mistake," distraught Adelaide woman Chloe Grayling insists in a viral clip so many could relate to.
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The pain of pregnancy loss has been a taboo topic until recent years.
There's been a stigma, with many women feeling that there's an unspoken belief that losing a pregnancy is their failure.
Which is why Adelaide influencer Chloe Grayling has called for a 'miscarriage' to be renamed a 'pregnancy loss'.
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"I didn't misspell, I didn't misspeak"
This week, Chloe posted a clip to her TikTok account @likechloejane, saying the word "miscarry" is "heavy with the weight of blame."
"Because it’s not true," she adds. "Because when we found out at 12 weeks and one day that our baby had no heartbeat, that word felt like salt in the wound.
"I didn’t misspell something, I didn’t misspeak, and I didn’t miscarry. I didn’t somehow drop the ball, muck anything up.
“It’s just that the body their little soul was in at that time wasn’t going to be strong enough to take them through their life, and that is overwhelmingly the case."
Chloe acknowledged those in the comments section who observed that miscarry is a medical term, but insisted it was time for it to be updated to pregnancy loss.
"It's often nothing to do with the carrier or the carrying, and I know it’s a term we’ve used forever.
"We now use the term pregnancy loss, and you can use whatever term that you like but words have meaning and that’s not what I’ve ever meant when I used that word."
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"I won't be using that word going forward"
Chloe added that she will no longer be using 'miscarry', and encouraged others to do the same.
Her clip was widely supported.
"This is so eloquent and so beautiful(ly) delivered Chloe," commented one viewer.
"I didn’t "miscarry" her, I carried her well," another agreed.
And this healthcare worker wrote, "I will be remembering this with my patients. Thank you for your education and perspective. You did so well and that soul only knew love."
Many were blown away be the implications after Chloe pointed them out, with one claiming, "I will never use the term again after seeing this."
Another added, "My ER doctor told me I had a "spontaneous abortion". That wasn't right either."
Finally, this comment echoed most commenters' sentiments: "I’m so sorry. Thank you for your vulnerability and your powerful message. Language is important. Sending love."
This story was published in March, and updated in July, 2023
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Originally published as I will never say 'miscarry' again because I didn't 'mis' anything