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I refused an 'overweight' child a second slice of cake, but gave one to others

"I asked them to lie to her, but she found out anyway, and began crying to her mum."

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Anyone who had an adult judge their body in childhood will relate to this story of a young girl being food-shamed by her aunt in the cruelest way.

The 32-year-old aunt recently hosted a family gathering, which included her sister and seven-year-old niece.

Writing in an online forum, the woman was wondering whether she'd been too harsh in what she did to the "overweight" girl.

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"I asked them not to tell my niece"

She explained that she was serving a healthy salad and chicken for the meal and baked a sponge cake for dessert. But watching her sister "indulge" the girl by allowing her to overeat began to grate on her - and she eventually spoke up when she asked for more cake.

"My niece asked for a second slice and I declined. I care about my niece's health but I didn't want to single her out, so I said I was saving it for later," she wrote.

But it's what she did next that had readers of the post furious.

"After dinner, while the kids were playing in the living room, my seven-year-old daughter and her other cousins came up to me asking a second slice of cake.

"I handed out second serves to other people, but as I did, I asked them to not tell [my niece] about it."

But the niece noticed people with more cake, and saw they were being "strange" when she asked them where they got it.

"Eventually my niece found out and started crying, and my sister was mad at me for 'punishing' her daughter. I told her that we wouldn't be in this position if she had actually taken care of her child, which made her furious and she has been ignoring me since then."

Image: iStock
Image: iStock

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"Judge others for their weight"

Readers were furious with the aunt's attitude, with many appalled that she had encouraged other kids to lie.

"She is teaching kids to lie. Some of the kids she was teaching to lie were not even her own kids," one wrote.

Others were concerned about the message she was sending about food.

"She's teaching her child that it's okay to judge others for their weight, which can mess up the daughter's view of herself, relationship with her own body, and food," a worried person said.

"'It's not your responsibility to control your niece's food intake, " read another comment. "If you feel her parents aren't doing a good job at it, then you need to bring that up with them. You don't get to pick what's appropriate for their child."

Finally, this reader added, "She's seven. She doesn't have an understanding of dieting and limiting food intake to control weight. She's looking at what's fair, and you made it clear to her that you don't think she deserves extra dessert as much as her cousins."

But even if one could argue that it was 'her house, her rules', this valid point was made: "You get to set the rules in your own home. If that means only a single serving of cake, then that's perfectly appropriate. However, that rule needs to be applied fairly across all the kids."

Was it the aunt's responsibility to control the cake intake? Tell us what you think in the comments on Facebook. 

Originally published as I refused an 'overweight' child a second slice of cake, but gave one to others

Original URL: https://www.thechronicle.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/i-refused-an-overweight-child-a-second-slice-of-cake-but-gave-one-to-others/news-story/e9c4c058a96010801d9b237f8472f69a