I grew up as a 'bedroom' child, but I'm raising a 'living room' kid

"As a mum, I only now realise the difference is huge."

“Go to your room.” 

The infamous four words many of us will recognise.

It didn’t take much for our parents to use them, but when they did, it was a request you wouldn’t dare question.

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The bedroom kid v the lounge room kid

There’s a unique perspective floating around TikTok about this family dynamic and how it’s becoming less common in modern households.

The ‘bedroom kid’ is slowly being replaced by the ‘lounge room kid.’

A bedroom kid is a child who spends most of their time in privacy, confined to the four walls of their bedroom. A lounge room kid, on the other hand, lives in the shared spaces of the home like the kitchen, the dining room and the living room.

It’s not a brand-new trend. But as of next week, I’ll have been a parent for two years, which means most things still feel new to me.

I came across the concept through a snippet of the How Married Are You? podcast. Married co-hosts Yvette and Glen were discussing how their children have a unique habit when it comes to preparing meals.

That habit being: they’re always there.

“I’m like, ya’ll, we have almost 4,000 square feet here and you’re all right here. Right here,” she joked. 

But after seeing the bedroom vs. lounge room kid conversation, she paused to reflect.

“I don’t think that I always appreciate what I have in this situation,” she said. 

“Like the gift of all this togetherness that we are going to look back on one day and say, ‘oh my gosh, I miss that.’” 

Lauren and her son. Image: supplied

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I'm a reformed bedroom child

I was one of those bedroom kids. Especially in my preteen years. Looking back, I wish I hadn't been.

Our bedrooms provide privacy, and for many, a sanctuary. But the lounge room family feels connected in a way I now understand more deeply.

My mum and dad were older parents who didn’t really play with me. They’d watch the occasional movie, but for the most part, they left me to my own devices battling maths homework or updating my MSN status with dramatic Paramore lyrics. 

I didn’t have a problem with it then. I don’t have a problem with it now. But I do wish I’d had a bit more balance.

My own child is two, and he’s firmly a lounge room kid. His toys and books live in the living room. His shows dominate the TV. And honestly, we wouldn’t have it any other way. 

We’re building the kind of connection that just wouldn’t be possible if he spent his time playing in isolation.

If we’re in his room, we’re in there together. 

Maybe one day he’ll want to make that space his own. And if so, we’ll respect that. But for now, I think my husband and I are laying the foundation for him to feel most at home in the heart of the house.

Raising Kids Australia says setting aside special time with your kids does wonders for their wellbeing and development. It reaffirms their importance, helps us model behaviour, and lets us see the world from their point of view.

As a reformed bedroom child, I’m proud to say I’m now a lounge room mum.

Originally published as I grew up as a 'bedroom' child, but I'm raising a 'living room' kid