Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness divorce exposes ‘unhealthy’ fantasy

Our love affair with some of the country’s most famous couples exposes an “unhealthy” reality for many Australians.

The Aussie couples we love: Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, and Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness.

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“Love is dead.”

I sent that text to my mum and Aunty Jan and attached a link with a news article announcing Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness were divorcing after almost 30 years together.

My mum replied within seconds.

“I will never believe in anything again,” she wrote.

My aunty replied a few moments later with a similar broken-hearted perspective.

“The world is a less trustworthy place,” she announced.

Yes, all three of us fully grown women were equally devastated that two strangers we’d never met had split.

Thankfully, we aren’t three crazy ladies because social media was full of people mourning the iconic relationship.

“This makes me so sad. Hugh’s love for Deb always made me love him more,” someone tweeted.

“Hugh Jackman and Deb?!?! Now I KNOW true love is dead,” another complained

“Deb and Hugh Jacko splitting up ... what hope is there for the rest of us,” another asked.

Hugh and Deb share two children. Picture: Nicholas Hunt/Getty Images for Michael Kors

Hugh has said Deb was the ‘greatest’ thing that has ever happened to him. Picture: Angela Weiss / AFP

So why do Aussies care so much?

Growth coach and mental health expert Tracey Horton explained that famous couples “feed the fantasy” that there’s such a thing as a perfect relationship.

“We believe the characters we see on screen – that’s what we fall for, and that’s proof they have done their job well,” she said.

Hugh and Deborra were one of the few Hollywood couples that lasted the distance – that was until they announced their “journey was shifting.”

The journey metaphor sounds more like when your dad takes the wrong turn on the highway to Queensland, but the star couple meant that their relationship was officially over.

Mostly, we have all become hardened to celebrity break-ups and are used to dealing with the fallout.

Occasionally, though, there’s a couple that really capture the public’s attention and become an adult fairy tale. You look to that star couple as proof that good, healthy, romantic relationships can exist.

Without question Hugh and Deborra were that to Australians. It is rare, though, with Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban in a similar position.

Their enduring relationship gives us faith, plus it doesn’t hurt that they are seen kissing every chance they get, and Kidman’s called him the “sexist man alive.”

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are a gorgeous couple. Picture: Timothy A. Clary / AFP

Nicole and Keith share two daughters. Picture: Angela Weiss / AFP

Hugh and Deborra were so alluring because they’d been together for decades and withstood Hugh’s massive surge in career.

Even when he became one of the most famous sex symbols in the world, he didn’t do the typical Hollywood thing and swiftly file for divorce and started dating a 23-year-old who was very into yoga.

No, they stayed together, and he waxed lyrical about Deborra every chance he got – it felt like proof that love prevails.

Who hasn’t secretly hoped they’d find their Deborra to their Hugh after a part-time employee from JB Hi-Fi with questionable tattoos hasn’t texted you back.

Too niche?

The former couple sharing a kiss. Picture: Andreas Solaro / AFP

They met in Australia and took Hollywood by storm. Picture: Patrick Riviere/Getty Images

In 2016, Hugh told Ellen DeGeneres that Deborra was the “greatest thing” ever to happen to him and so their break-up feels like the worst news ever.

If they can’t make it. Who can?

Ms Horton pointed out that the public version of the couple we see isn’t always the reality and it is important not to compare.

“For most of us, we never see the real couple or their lives, as even the photos and tabloids aren’t always true.”

So is it healthy to feel sad when a famous couple calls it quits? Well, not exactly. Ms Horton advises that is our job as adults to separate illusion from reality.

“In our lives we can constantly differentiate fact and fiction from the age of 15, so if you are

over 15 and impacted through a star’s break up, your idolisation isn’t healthy,” she said.

It might not be healthy but it sure is common.

Originally published as Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness divorce exposes ‘unhealthy’ fantasy