We need to stop putting Vegemite in everything

VEGEMITE brownies, shandy slushies, lamington doughnuts and meat pie burgers ... these Australia Day food hacks are out of control.

Tim Tam Toast ... a concept that has real merit.

THERE are a few things synonymous with Australia Day — Triple J Hottest 100 parties, people wearing Australian flags as capes and backpackers getting sunburnt on Bondi Beach, to name a few.

Another thing that is as sure as death and taxes are businesses dreaming up novelty Australia Day foods to garner some exposure for their company.

Here are some of the creative concoctions that have come across our desk in the lead up to Australia Day to whet your appetite ... or completely ruin it.

FIRSTLY, VEGEMITE IS BEING INCORPORATED INTO EVERYTHING

Vegemite is great. It will cure an ulcer in your mouth, freak out international visitors and obliterate most childhood illnesses when spread on white bread with butter. But that doesn’t mean that it matches well with everything. It features strongly in this year’s Australia Day frankenstein foods:

VEGEMITE BROWNIES

The concept of a Vegemite brownie makes us feel ... conflicted.

Our comrades at delicious.com.au swear that Vegemite brownies are good. We can’t comment on this because we haven’t actually tried them, but if you‘re the risky type who likes to live on the edge, you can get the recipe over on their website and have a crack yourself.

VEGEMITE ICE CREAM

That wacky Heston Blumenthal is up to tricks again.

Heston Blumenthal has created a Vegemite ice cream that is part of a special four-course $270 lunch that will be served from Australia Day at his restaurant at Melbourne’s Crown Towers.

The restaurant’s group executive chef, Ashley Palmer-Watts, said that during the six-month recipe development phase back in the UK, the spread was deconstructed to uncover its unique blend of flavours.

Served on a biscuit sourdough crumble base with toasted puffed spelt, cocoa nibs, burnt honey and macadamias, the dish will be finished at the table by a waiter, who will drizzle caramel sauce from a Vegemite jar.

“Heston was intrigued by the flavour immediately and pretty insistent for some time that we explore a dessert dish based on the spread,” Palmer-Watts told Business Insider.

“There are notes of caramel and a rich chocolate backdrop, as well as a yeasty saltiness.”

“Yeasty saltiness.” Cripes.

VEGEMITE, CHEESE AND BEER DIP IN A DAMPER BOWL

Get it indya.

You have to love our resident foodie Tristan Lutze for his devil-may-care approach to dining. This could be the most strayan dish we have ever encountered. Vegemite, cheese and beer dip in a damper bowl. Accompanied by Barbecue Shapes, naturally. You can get the recipe here and watch him creating it in the video below.

VB, ‘LAMBINGTON’ AND VEGEMITE SAUSAGES

If you like to get realllllll adventurous with your snags, head to Eastgate Shopping Centre’s Gourmet Butcher in Sydney. They have created ‘lambington’, Vegemite and VB sausages. There are also camel, emu and crocodile sausages if you feel like ingesting some local fauna.

We did a taste test with some game punters in the video below ...

** Key takeaway point: Just because you can put Vegemite in things doesn’t mean you should ... though, as one colleague pointed out, the Bakers Delight Cheesymite scroll is one of the rare instances where Vegemite has been successfully incorporated into a product. Those things are god’s doughy gift.

TIM TAM TOAST

This is something we can get behind.

Travelodge Hotels have released ‘Tim Tam Toast’ as a one-off Australia Day treat in selected hotels around Australia. We did a taste test and frankly it’s just like crunchy Nutella.

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

MEAT PIE BURGER

You will probably never see a happier bloke.

Look, this is a nice idea (a meat pie in a burger, what a treat) but that has got to be one of the more impractical things you can wrap your choppers around.

Melbourne’s Suburban Burger in Lynbrook has created the ultimate Australia Day classic — the Aussie Meat Pie Burger, washed down with a lamington shake.

Owner Andy McTighe said the special menu items would be available for three days until January 29.

Be warned: the danger for mouth burns is sky high. Also, wear a smock.

LAMINGTON DOUGHNUTS

This receives our stamp of approval.

We tried this dessert dream hybrid from Doughnut Time and they get an enthusiastic two thumbs up — what’s not to like? There’s jam. There’s chocolate. There’s doughnut. There’s some kind of heady cream situation on top. The only downside is they’re not available all year round.

SHANDY SLUSHIE

Shandy slushie ... go with us on this one.

This is pushing the envelope in the right direction. A shandy has long been considered (by me) to be the world’s greatest hangover cure. There’s just the right amount of beer to act as hair of the dog, and the lemonade gives you a sugar kick to get you back on your feet. Who said shandys were just for grandmas at bowling clubs?

Delicious.com.au have provided a recipe for the shandy slushie, which combines the curative benefits of the shandy with icy-goodness. This? This could revolutionise how you manage your post-Australia Day hangover.

Originally published as We need to stop putting Vegemite in everything