Vegemite responds to cafe’s ‘criminal’ toast act

After a cafe-goer shared a photo of a cafe’s Vegemite toast, our country’s national condiment has been forced to respond to the “crime”.

There’s nothing that stirs the internet more than a debate about Vegemite.

This time, it’s a photo of a single piece of sad, sparsely-spread Vegemite toast that’s managed to rile everyone up online.

The offending slice, costing $6, was posted to Reddit, where it was naturally labelled “un-Australian,” “a crime,” and “an act against the Commonwealth” by hundreds of Aussies.

The image showed the takeaway order, which was a thin slice of white bread with a few patchy smears of our nation’s beloved condiment clinging to the surface.

If there’s butter on there, it’s most definitely hiding, and the toasting almost seems non-existent.

“Sigh, if you can’t make it, don’t put it on the menu,” the poster lamented, before calling it an “abomination”.

What is this? Vegemite toast for ants? Picture: Reddit

Reddit users didn’t hold back, with one joking, “This constitutes a clear violation of the National Vegemite Act (1954, amended 1986, 2001 and 2022), Section 2.3”.

Another called it “Vegemaybe” due to the evident half-hearted effort, while others took the joke further and called it “Vegemightnot”.

Even though it looks like the cafe simply waved a jar of Vegemite near the toast and called it a day, some said that fussy Vegemite orderers are to blame, not the cafe.

“You can almost certainly blame this on that one time a customer complained that there was ‘too much’ Vegemite on the toast and sent it back,” pointed out one user.

Then others called out the poster themselves for opting to purchase such a simple dish from a cafe in the first place.

“How hard is it to put bread in the toaster and do it yourself – what a waste of money,” one remarked.

People hotly debated the right amount of Vegemite in the comments. Picture: NCA NewsWire/Damian Shaw

Meanwhile, a few brave people admitted they actually thought it was the perfect amount.

“Only needs more butter,” said one user.

“Looks fine to me, even tasty,” wrote someone else, as another admitted, “That’s how I like my Vegemite”.

And some simply provided pragmatic responses: “Look, I agree that it’s a pathetic amount of Vegemite but cafes have to cater to the majority. A lot of people prefer just a smattering. It’s always easier to add more Vegemite than remove Vegemite. Now you know their baseline, tell them you want more next time,” said one.

With the nation’s breakfast pride at stake, news.com.au reached out to the true authority: Vegemite itself.

“At Vegemite, we know that how you enjoy your toast is a deeply personal thing – whether it’s a whisper-thin layer or a bold, generous spread, we don’t judge!” the brand said.

“Everyone has their own perfect ratio.”

It also noted that if you’re ever unsure when eating out, asking for your Vegemite on the side is a “great way to get it just right”.

“Or, for the truly devoted, keeping a personal stash on hand or in the glove box of your car isn’t the worst idea – desperate times call for delicious measures!”

Originally published as Vegemite responds to cafe’s ‘criminal’ toast act