The best milk, cheese and ice creams from the Sydney Royal Cheese and Dairy Show 2016

THINK you have to spend lots to enjoy the best milk, ice creams, yoghurts and cheeses? Well, you’re wrong. Sometimes the best options are nice and cheap.

I’M EATING ice cream before 10am and there’s nothing you can do about it, mum.

In what is almost certainly the peak of my journalism career, I’m standing at the Royal Sydney Showgrounds in a room filled with people who take their dairy very, very seriously.

Today we’re judging the best gelatos, sorbets, ice creams, flavoured milks and yoghurts for the Royal Agricultural Society of NSW’s Cheese and Dairy Produce Show.

A few days earlier the publicist asked whether I’d love to be an associate judge this year and my initial response was a very professional ‘HELLS YES’. He then told me I’d get to wear a white lab coat and the deal was done.

These particular produce awards made headlines in 2013 when the low-cost German supermarket chain Aldi picked up 49 medals (including eight gold) and was named the most successful dairy produce exhibitor — an accolade that left some of the smaller artisan producers a bit miffed.

Spoiler alert: Aldi picked up another major award this year. More on that below.

When I arrive the first thing I notice is a table with bottled water and apples and water crackers that the tasters use to cleanse their palette when they experience ‘dairy fatigue’ (my kind of affliction). There are also jugs of warm water that they use to remedy the mouth-freeze that comes with sample sorbets and ice creams and gelatos.

For those who need to cleanse their palette.

There are two youngs lads who are the “freezer boys”, responsible for ferrying refrigerated capsules up and down in the lift. They’re wearing bulky jackets to ward off the cold, and they’re loitering around the ice cream tasting table when they get the chance. It turns out one is the son of Mark Livermore, who is Chair of Judges.

Chair of Judges, Mark Livermore, and an embarrassingly excited associate judge.

The group of judges is largely made up of men, with a scattering of women. Everyone has been through a judge training program, where they have been educated on the judging criteria and have undertaken palette sensitivity tests.

The judges are from all parts of the industry — there are Cordon Bleu chefs, ice cream technicians, dairy farmers and food scientists in the group. Someone suggests that I start on the full cream milk testing table (there are around 60 milks being sampled today) as this is the “cornerstone of all good dairy products”.

Judging the premium ice cream is a serious business.

I nod politely, take his point on board and head directly to the premium ice cream table.

Here I am thrilled to find grown men licking a spoon with an incredible level of seriousness and debating the virtues of a particular brand of red velvet ice cream. I realise with a flash that if you told any five-year-old that they would grow up to be one of Australia’s most lauded ice cream tasters, they would probably faint with happiness.

I am, however, slightly shocked when someone spits a mouthful of yoghurt into a spittoon on the floor. I then realise that everyone is doing this. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised — the cheese dreams that could come from a day of tasting dairy products could be seriously mind-altering.

I ask someone if anyone ever misses the spittoon.

He gracefully responds that the floors are cleaned each night.

HERE ARE SOME OF THE SELECTED CHAMPIONS:

Eat Gourmet’s Vanilla + Rose Organic Yoghurt won champion yoghurt.

THIS IS THE MILK YOU WANT

ALDI’s Farmdale Fresh Full Cream Milk.

THESE ARE THE ICE CREAMS YOU WANT

Peanut butter fudge ice cream from Harry & Larry’s Ice Cream was named Champion Premium Ice Cream.

Gundowring ginger ice cream was named Champion Ice Cream.

THIS IS THE FLAVOURED MILK YOU WANT

Coach House Dairy Chocolate Milk.

THIS IS THE CHEDDAR CHEESE YOU WANT

Coles Extra Reserve Cheddar.

THIS IS THE DIP YOU WANT

Smoked Kingfish Rillettes by Brilliant Food.

Originally published as The best milk, cheese and ice creams from the Sydney Royal Cheese and Dairy Show 2016