We can't, won't, must not quit the love for orthopaedic shoes

Lily-Rose Depp's summer sandals are just one reminder of this. 

There are two choices, but also, so many choices! Image credit: Warner Brothers

Lily-Rose Depp's summer sandals are just one reminder of this. 

Of all the less than great things I’ve done for my body, the years of wearing ill-suited shoes—ballet flats, completely flat sandals, vertiginous heels that should only be worn to sit down in —are definitely up there.

The reminder that you are not, in fact, invincible, and the only guarantee in life is that you will get older (if you're lucky!) is truly shocking. It can be confronting to consider if you can still pull off orthopaedic shoes in a knowing way. 

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In any case, the fashion industry appetite for heroically ugly and extremely cushioned and supportive shoes—from Hoka runners to Birkenstocks, New Balance sneakers that were once the domain of your dad and geography teacher in the 90s—has shown no signs of easing.

It’s a great thing!

As Amanda Mull wrote earlier this year in The Atlantic, because of the good work millennial fashion people have done in the subverting of taste and aesthetics in shoes the past decade or so,  we can write-off a well-padded shoe because your knees are suddenly creaky, as a vibe.

Chunky, supportive sneakers have long been reclaimed, long may they survive. Image credit: Getty Images

“The coolest among us spent the past decade making orthopaedic shoes the height of fashion, and we even persuaded people much younger than us to get onboard—right in time to provide our older selves with a little bit of plausible deniability. We’re not wearing these New Balances just because our knees hurt. We swear,” she writes.

It's interesting, no, that a grotty Birkenstock (‘seasoned’ as a friend once said of a worn-in sandal to my distinct and enduring horror) is held up as the representation of the crushing ‘real world’ in the trailer for the forthcoming Barbie movie in opposition to Barbie pink stiletto heels and life in perfect BarbieLand? Whenever orthopaedic or ‘ugly’ shoes pop up again we’re reminded that taste remains an entirely subjective thing.

This is also a very good thing.

All of this—taste, comfort, the feeling that life is moving faster than ever was stirred up reading a deep dive on The Strategistinto the German orthopaedic sandals that Vogue Australia cover star Lily-Rose Depp has worn all summer in. She’s been wearing them, as Emilie Petrarca writes, in an incredibly hot way. In a way that made me wonder, could I, a 30-something mother-of-two also wear orthopaedic sandals in a hot way or do I want to wear them in an orthopaedic way? Can it be the same thing?

Lily-Rose Depp is no stranger to comfortable footwear. Image credit: Getty Images

The Wörishofer shoes have been on the fashion taste circuit before—after-all, everything always comes around again— and were worn by twee girls and the likes of Brooklyn It-girls Michelle Williams and Maggie Gyllenhaal in the mid-aughts. At one point, as a 2010 Slate piece on the return of them, and writer Jessica Grose’s love for them, the Daily Mail asked if they were the new Crocs. But as Petrarca noted, they weren’t worn in the way Depp wears them now. 

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“She makes these “grandma shoes” look hot. These are sandals you wear to passionately make out with someone in public and let them slip a hand down your Maryam Nassir Zadeh micro-mini. Birkenstocks are shaking. Tevas found dead!”

There is of course something deeply compelling, nay comforting, about the enduring appeal of orthopaedic shoes becoming a fashion thing, a hot girl thing (and remember, just like Hot Girl Books, Hot Girl Orthopaedic Sandals is a mindset more than anything). There’s the subversion of taste, sure, the in-the-know winks, the idea that ‘ugliness’ as Miuccia Prada once noted is always way more interesting.

But also that ageing kind of always gives you the last laugh too.

The ‘old ladies’ who’ve always worn these shoes, the ancient teacher (who was probably 30) in sensible and cushioned sandals, are the winners here. So too the people who don't care if people know they're in on the irony. But everybody is a winner really, when ageing is a prize and the options for footwear are plentiful and come with good arch support. 

Originally published as We can't, won't, must not quit the love for orthopaedic shoes