and just like that carrie Aidan

The return of Aidan in ‘And Just Like That’ has Carrie wondering if Mr. Big was just a big mistake, and we're speechless. Image credit: HBO Max

The return of Aidan in ‘And Just Like That’ has Carrie wondering if Mr. Big was just a big mistake, and we're speechless. Image credit: HBO Max

CW: This article contains spoilers for HBO Max’s And Just Like That...

After spending a quarter of a century watching Carrie Bradshaw attempt to figure out her love life, we were happily resigned to the fact that John Preston, known as Big or Mr. Big, was the love of her life. After his untimely death at the beginning of And Just Like That season one, we watched Carrie grieve him with a broken heart, and we grieved alongside her.

Even as we delighted in the return of fan favourite boyfriend Aidan Shaw, Carrie's other great love from the earlier years of Sex and the City, in AJLT’s second season, most of us held Carrie and Big’s relationship in a special place in our hearts simply for how hard won it was.

That was until, in the most recent AJLT episode, when Carrie dropped a bombshell that completely shattered the premise of the past 25 years.

Only five weeks into her sex-fuelled, love-swept revived romance with Aidan (which don't get us wrong, we’re loving), Carrie is on the fast track with her relationship and is already planning on meeting Aidan’s kids. In a gushing speech about her rekindled romance, Carrie abruptly turns to best friend Miranda Hobbes and asks her, “Was Big a big mistake?”

“I don't know what to say,” was Miranda’s stunned response to her friend’s confessional, earth-shattering musing, and we know how she feels. 

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To really unpack this question, we have to look back over Carrie’s long and complicated history with both these two men. Big and Carrie’s relationship was often toxic and unnecessarily complicated, and their inability to keep away from each other over the years caused some memorably unfortunate collateral damage. There’s also something to be said for Carrie not being able to give her relationship with Aidan a real chance because she always seemed to have Big on the brain, which she herself points out during her revelation.

But despite all this, Big and Carrie’s relationship was not without its good moments, and Carrie fought hard for their love for a long time. So, as much as we love Aidan Shaw and are over the moon about his return, to have Carrie so quickly dismiss her recently deceased, supposed “love of her life” as a mistake? While she’s also living like a millionaire on his extremely large financial bequeathal? It's not an easy thing to hear.

Image credit: courtesy of HBO

Image credit: courtesy of HBO

The internet and long-time SATC fans certainly have a lot to say on the matter, with one Twitter user writing, “CARRIE BRADSHAW. We did not spend six seasons, two movies, an entire season of the reboot of you grieving him for you to ask this question.” Another expressed their sadness at Carrie's controversial remark, writing “Not ashamed to admit that I cried when Carrie said Big was a mistake. It hurt. A lot.”

Others however have shown their support for Carrie's line of questioning. “Was Big a big mistake? Me screaming at the tv: GIRL YES!!!!!”, wrote one person. Another agreed, writing “I waited SO LONG to see carrie finally admit that choosing big was a mistake and SHE FINALLY SAID IT, I really don't know what to say except THANK YOU WRITERS”—and in many ways, we sympathise.

There were many times over the past 25 years when we cringed at Carrie’s obsession with the distant and aloof Mr. Big. There were also many different points (during her relationship with Aidan the first and second time, for example) when we were rooting for Carrie to let go of her toxic love story. But at the end of the day, Big was her choice time and time again, and all we’re asking for during her third run with Aidan is that she respect that in Big's memory.

Or, if not for that, for Aidan’s sake at the very least. Arguably, the kindest thing Carrie can do with this revelation is keep it from her beau, or at least pretend that he wasn’t betrayed all those years ago for nothing. After all the trauma Aidan has gone through trying to be with Carrie, and more than once, he probably wouldn't be very pleased to hear that she ended up regretting her choices after everything they went through. 

While Big and Carrie’s relationship might not have been the healthiest or the wisest decision, and yes, perhaps she should have chosen Aidan all those years ago, perhaps it’s something that’s best left unsaid. True or not, there’s something rather tragic about her hasty dismissal of her deceased husband, and it certainly incites our general frustration at Carrie’s inappropriately delayed emotional growth. Let’s just say that knowing the right time and right place for things was never Carrie’s strong suit. 

At the end of the same episode when Che Diaz asks Carrie what went wrong with her and Aidan the first time, Carrie responds, “Cause I made a mistake.” Clearly, she's decided how she wants to answer her own question. But for the sake of honouring Big’s memory, and also in a show of respect to the long-awaiting Aidan, after this singular admission, perhaps Carrie should keep this one to herself.

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Originally published as and just like that carrie Aidan