Coles shopper's 'bizarre' theory about why the bread shelf is always stocked

"I have been scared to post this, because people are going to make fun of me or say I’m crazy..."

"I have been scared to post this, because people are going to make fun of me or say I’m crazy, but I’ve thought something for years and I want to see if it’s just me..."

That's how a man named Brian set the scene for his post in the 'Coles Complaints' Facebook group, where he laid out a bizarre yet compelling theory about the Coles bakery section.

He claimed, "All of the artisan and specialty breads at grocery stores are PROOF we are actually living in a simulation."

Intrigued? So were we...

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Image: Facebook

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"Nobody buys this bread, nobody is baking these"

Brian goes on to say that, "Nobody buys this bread. Ever."

He claims he's never seen it in someone’s trolley; he's never seen someone checking out with a "massive red pepper asiago loaf the size of a basketball" and "in all my years I’ve never walked into a friend's home and been offered a baguette or a fresh slice of focaccia."

"I’ve never even heard of a 'Sourdough Boule' and respectfully, I am not sure they even exist," he continues.

"Nobody is baking these. Nobody is buying these. Nobody is eating these.

"They are just there. Every time. Just like last time. Being walked past. The bread is a decoration. The bread is a simulation."

Bold claims from Brian, who appears to be wearing a virtual reality headset in his display picture.

Are you wearing that to the supermarket, Brian?

If so, you might be the only one living in a simulation...

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Commenters had thoughts

"WTF are you on ??" one confused person wrote on the post, which now has over 1.2k comments. 

One bread buyer then claimed the issue was quite the opposite. "I buy it… My Coles never even has close to that quantity. In fact, I often leave with nothing because there is nothing left," they said.

"I love buying the boujee bread from Coles. $2.50 for a beautiful olive loaf that the bakeries sell for $8. No thanks," wrote another shopper. 

Someone else said, "My son bakes bread at Coles," and"I'm an ex-employee, and I can tell you, there are definitely people who bake that bread. A lot of it."

"OMG, are you serious? Are you only shopping at 7 am? Go in at 6 pm and take the same photo so we can see the difference!" someone else urged. 

Originally published as Coles shopper's 'bizarre' theory about why the bread shelf is always stocked