Beware the office romance

THERE’S nothing sexier than secret sex and it’s probably happening in your workplace right now. But is dating a colleague really such a good idea?

UNLESS you’ve been hiding away for the past few months, you’re likely to have heard of the couple in New Zealand who chose to share their office romance rather graphically with the rest of the world.

The steamy encounter at insurance company Marsh Ltd was photographed and filmed by scores of people at a busy bar across the road. Unsurprisingly the footage ended up online. While they claim to have believed the tinted windows would keep their affair private, the careless actions of this couple had dire consequences. They lost their jobs, loved ones and respect.

Being attracted to or even romantically involved with a colleague isn’t necessarily a problem. How we go about it, as this couple proved, can be.

In workplaces everywhere are people who find themselves attracted to one another. Whether an innocent crush or case of passion fuelled love, the decisions any of us make about pursuing love at work can impact our lives for the better or worse for many years to come.

Working with people who are romantically involved can also bring its challenges. Dealing with distracting issues, emotions and fallout from office romances is draining for everyone involved. Whether as a leader or colleague, at times it’s important to let people know when romance is standing in the way of an individual or team’s success.

If you’re in a romantic relationship at work or just thinking about it, here are some things to keep in mind.

Things did not end well for the couple caught having sex at work in Christchurch.

1. Be discreet and never allow your relationship to encroach on company time or disrupt the office environment!

No one wants to have to put up with a couple flirting or bickering at work. No matter how cute or amazing you think your partner is, remember your colleagues probably don’t want to hear about it every time they walk past your desk. Public displays of affection are not on; neither is spending copious amounts of time chatting with or about your partner. Your credibility for being someone with good judgment will unquestionably be impacted if you choose to get ‘smoochy’ in the office.

2. Beware of company policies

While there are no specific laws that prevent office romances, many companies have policies in place to protect both the business and its employees. Confidentiality is a common concern. Fear of ‘pillow talk’ leading to inappropriate disclosure of sensitive information is among the reasons some companies actively discourage their employees from getting romantically involved.

3. Understand workplace laws

Sexual harassment is any unwanted or unwelcome sexual behaviour, which makes a person feel offended, humiliated or intimidated. Sexual harassment is not interaction, flirtation or friendship, which is mutual or consensual. Read the signals your romantic interest sends about their interest in you and a relationship. Never assume ‘playing hard to get’ is a signal for you to try harder. That’s definitely the time to back off.

4. Thinking about dating your boss?

Unless you are willing to change department or leave the business, don’t go there. Of course you could expect your boss to do the changing, but regardless of who moves on, one of you will need to. Its neither appropriate nor accepted in most circumstances for someone to report to a person they are romantically involved with. So no matter how much you think you can handle it, you need to make the decision or it’s likely to be made for you.

5. If you’re going to risk your career and livelihood on a romance at work then make sure the relationship is important to you

If you’re just looking for a good time make sure the person you get involved with understands that. Being the girl or guy who gets involved with a number of different people at work is likely to undermine the respect people feel toward you. Think very carefully about what it might say about your ability to conduct yourself respectfully. Leaving a trail of broken hearts and trust in your wake is unlikely to do anything good for your career.

Karen Gately is a leadership and people-management specialist and a founder of Ryan Gately. She is the author of ‘The People Manager’s Toolkit’ and ‘The Corporate Dojo’. For more information visit www.karengately.com.au

Originally published as Beware the office romance