29yo reveals why she can sleep with other women but boyfriend can’t

A young Aussie has revealed the modern relationship set-up she has with her boyfriend and why it works for them.

29yo reveals new relationship trend. . Picture: Instagram/nova_hawthorne

Nova Hawthorne is allowed to sleep with other women, but her boyfriend is entirely monogamous to her.

The 29-year-old described their relationship boundaries as “hetero-monogamy”, and it is a relatively simple set-up when you break it down.

Ms Hawthorne, who identifies as Queer, can sleep with other women, but she’d never sleep with another man.

“I’m monogamous with him in so far as I don’t sleep with or date other men, but the reality is that I’m also attracted to women and he’s never going to be able to offer me that, so I think it only makes sense that I live out that side of myself as well,” she explained.

Young woman reveals why she can sleep with other women and her partner can't. Picture: Instagram/nova_hawthorne

She explained the set-up works for both of them. Picture: Instagram/nova_hawthorne

The 29-year-old said the situation works for them because her boyfriend understands that she doesn’t want to “close off” one part of her sexuality.

“That was important for me to be comfortable with committing to being in a relationship with him. I think a lot of other Bi or Queer people have that fear of having to close off that whole other side of themselves,” she said.

“I don’t think it’s realistic and I think that’s why more people are stretching their definitions of monogamy to suit their individual needs.”

Ms Hawthorne said because her partner identifies as straight, he is “completely monogamous”, and if he slept with another woman, it would be considered cheating.

“The openness only applies to me because of my attraction to women,” she said.

She’s the only one in the relationship that is open. Picture: Instagram/nova_hawthorne

She just wants to explore her attraction to women. Picture: Instagram/nova_hawthorne

Of course, she knows their set-up is very modern and evolved, which can make some people feel uncomfortable, but it also works for the couple.

“I think some people are threatened by relationships that look and work differently to what they were used to but it’s just because it’s unfamiliar,” she said.

“I think people opening up their relationships is a good thing. It leaves room for both partners to live out their complete, authentic selves instead of putting restrictions on each other.”

Ms Hawthorne said she’s never considered officially bringing a third into the relationship, and her dalliances outside the relationship don’t overlap with her main relationship.

“We haven’t discussed the possibility of me having a second committed relationship with a woman. Right now, my focus is on maintaining my connection with James while exploring my attraction to women in a more casual context,” she said.

Of course, Ms Hawthorne doesn’t think this situation would work for everyone, but she said it works for them because they communicate.

“I think being really open and honest with your partner is key. That’s true for every relationship, though; I don’t think a relationship, whether it’s traditional or not, can survive long term without healthy communication.”

Originally published as 29yo reveals why she can sleep with other women but boyfriend can’t