You don’t have to look like Kris, Demi or Nicole to win at ageing: this is why I no longer fear growing old

In a world of stars celebrated for looking like Kris, Demi and Nicole, one Aussie broadcaster reveals why she no longer fears getting older.

Jen-eration K parties on … Kris Jenner, with partner Corey Gamble, in Venice for the star-studded wedding of Amazon founder Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez in June 2025.

I recently found out that the gal pals in the latest Sex And The City franchise, And Just Like That, were the same age as the gal pals in The Golden Girls when that program aired back in the 1980s.

It shocked me to think that being in your 50s (except for Sophia) looked like that back then – pearls and twin suits and set hair. Being old meant you had to look “sweet” and harmless.

And while there is a revolution under way, where women have resisted the performance of old age and no longer desire to look sweet and refined, and there are more elders with pink hair than any other age group, there has emerged a concerning trend: women are now being celebrated if old age, well, looks extremely young.

It makes sense.

Golden oldies (though they probably wouldn’t like that) … Sex And The City stars Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis and Sarah Jessica Parker.

Golden Girls … the stars of the 1980s comedy series, clockwise from left: Bea Arthur, Rue McClanahan, Betty White and Estelle Getty.

A woman’s currency has always relied heavily on her external appearance – and youth has been the highest cash cow of them all. For so long, we’ve been convinced that it is desirable to be young and undesirable to be old.

We’ve been told to fear ageing. But where did we come up with such a false idea?

It’s often with shock that women will reveal that they can’t believe how good it feels to get older. Why are we so surprised?

Because we’ve been told we should avoid it at all costs: so when we are filled with excitement and hope and purpose, all wrapped in a more substantial and wiser package, we are confused. How did we ever believe that our 20s and 30s were going to be our golden (girl) years?

But we didn’t arrive at this assessment alone. We’ve allowed those wicked, genius marketers to convince us that we need to fix the malady of age. Scrape it, burn it, plump it, pinch it – make it go away at all costs.

Staying relevant … Demi Moore and Nicole Kidman, pictured together last November, continue to churn out work including Moore’s 2024 hit The Substance and Kidman’s string of movie and TV smashes.

And when we do, as with the latest spate of young looking 50- and 60-year-old celebrities, Nicole Kidman, Demi Moore and Kris Jenner – we are celebrated. So of course we want to remain relevant by looking young.

Or do we?

Well, no. The research for my latest book A Wisdom of Age has changed every false perception I had about ageing. I travelled the country talking with women in their 70s, 80s and 90s and found some women are only now hitting their stride.

My 94-year-old friend, Liz, recently did her first stand-up comedy routine. She remarked that at 94, she is so fulfilled and living the life she has always dreamt of that she has no time to die.

What was remarkable was that every single woman I spoke with had something else for me to use, to push back against the suffocating ideas that ageing has been sold as.

‘Excitement, not dread’ … ABC radio presenter Jacinta Parsons.

Here are the top three tips that, according to every woman I spoke with, can make ageing something to embrace.

Curiosity: Remaining curious was the top tip. Rather than believe that the joy, excitement and awe of life is only for the young, keep imagining a future for yourself – no matter what your age.

Challenges become wisdom: Every challenge you face in your life becomes the bedrock for your wisdom in later life. The hard stuff is what makes us, so dive headfirst into challenges.

Time: One of the most exciting aspects of ageing is the changing nature of time. No longer are you running kids from soccer to ballet and fitting work into every spare moment; ageing means the opportunity to sit and watch the seasons change.

Writing this book has changed me fundamentally. I now know that ageing is a grand time we should be anticipating with excitement, not dread.

Join the revolution – let’s age.

‘Writing this book has changed me fundamentally’ … Jacinta Parsons on A Wisdom Of Age.

A Wisdom Of Age by Jacinta Parsons is out now, published by ABC Books.

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Originally published as You don’t have to look like Kris, Demi or Nicole to win at ageing: this is why I no longer fear growing old