AFL Grand Final best and worst live acts, and who’s on Collingwood’s wishlist

Sorry KISS — Collingwood have a bunch of other music acts they’d love to see at the Big Dance. See who‘s on their list, vote in our poll and have your say.

The pre-match entertainment wishlist of 2023 Collingwood grand final players veers wildly from global stadium slayers Bruce Springsteen and Dua Lipa to local heroes Tame Impala, Rufus Du Sol and Briggs.

Other selections on the Pies’ Ultimate Grand Final Entertainment list include current chart-toppers Central Cee and rappers Drake and Stormzy. And randomly, comedian Kevin Hart.

When “entertainment” became part of the Aussie Rules grand final celebrations in 1977, back when it was the VFL, the musical number was a rendition of Advance Australia Fair and Waltzing Matilda by a popular singer of the day.

Barry Crocker was the first to perform at the Big Dance, with Mike Brady making his Up There Cazaly debut in 1979.

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Among the legends who gave Waltzing Matilda a shot through the decades were Slim Dusty, Jon English, Glenn Shorrock, John Farnham, Olivia Newton-John and (cough) Daryl Somers.

Each year as the speculation about who will command the MCG pitch with their talents, commentators cite Meat Loaf trainwreck in 2011 as the benchmark of what not to do at the pre-match gig.

The master at work; Robbie Williams nailed the 2022 AFL entertainment. Picture: Getty.

Last year’s flawless pop masterclass by Robbie Williams, which featured tributes to John Farnham with You’re The Voice and Shane Warne with Angels, set a gold star standard for the grand final.

Veteran rockers KISS are predicted to land somewhere in between Meat Loaf and Williams, depending on whether you are or aren’t a fan.

But lost in the annual best and worst lists which precede each year’s grand final are some absolute shockers and triumphs over the past two decades as the entertainment became an integral part of the celebrations.

Farnham with Mark Seymour at the 2009 Grand Final. Picture: NCA.

John Farnham with special guests in 2009

A master of the big gig was in fine form as he revved up the St Kilda and Geelong fans with one of Australia’s unofficial national anthems You’re The Voice.

After the song’s epic bagpipes bridge, he was joined by two very special guests to bring the song home, Jimmy Barnes and Mark Seymour.

Unfortunately Farnham was a little befuddled when introducing Seymour, the frontman of Hunters and Collectors and a regular performer at the MCG with his accidental AFL anthem Holy Grail.

It’s tough to make out whether he called Seymour “Mick” or “Nick”, perhaps confusing him with his brother, a co-founder of Crowded House.

Dame Edna Everage sings Up There Cazaly at 2005 GF

Backed by a full band, the late great Dame Edna stole the show from Michael Buble when she performed Up There Cazaly.

Thousands of fans waved her signature bloom, the gladiola, in unison as the Dame made the footy song her own with a tuneful rendition ahead of the match between the Sydney Swans and West Coast Eagles.

Dame Edna Everage entertains the crowd during the pre-match entertainment in 2005. Picture: NCA.

The lead-up to the match was full of drama as musical theatre star Silvie Paladino was bumped by the AFL to perform the national anthem for then Swans fan Delta Goodrem.

Paladino let her feelings about the last-minute switch known to the media and was swiftly given back the anthem while Goodrem performed I Am Australian instead. Awkward.

Black Eyed Peas and the Will.i.am’s phone in 2018

Pop acts have it tough at the grand final, unless you’re Robbie Williams.

The Black Eyed Peas seemed an odd choice for the big gig but armed with an enviable collection of bangers which have soundtracked plenty of Aussie barbecues and house parties, you would expect they had something to please everyone.

They rolled out their biggest hits including Where Is The Love? Let’s Get It Started and I Gotta Feeling and there were plenty of people getting into it.

Was Will.i.am checking his messages or posting content at the 2018 grand final? Picture: Supplied.

But the keyboard warriors complained about Fergie not being there, despite leaving the band in 2010, and Will.i.am checking his phone during the performance.

The singer hit back at the criticism, insisting he was “sharing on socials.”

“That’s me being a performer & camera man showing the world how Awesome Australia is … I wanted the world to see Australia from my point of view …& that POV is awesome & lovely … sorry if I offended anyone by sharing my love,” he posted after the sledging.

The Killers lead singer Brandon Flowers with Jack Riewoldt. Picture: Alex Coppel.

The Killers’ special guest after the match in 2017.

The Las Vegas stadium slayers turned the MCG into a mini rock festival with their universally acclaimed set which included hits When You Were Young and Somebody Told Me.

Frontman Brandon Flowers wisely tipped his hat to his love of Australian music by including a blazing rendition of Midnight Oil’s Forgotten Years.

But it was the after-show on the ground which has created one of the enduring AFLGF entertainment moments.

The band were smashing their set when Richmond legend Jack Riewoldt celebrated his team’s win by crashing the stage to join Flowers on their biggest hit Mr Brightside.

Powderfinger show why rock rules at the Grand Final

If you needed any more reason to lament the lack of Powderfinger on our stages, then their performance at 2008 grand final ahead of the match between Hawthorn and Geelong will leave you with all of the feelings.

While the presence of stilt performers wearing team guernseys surrounding the band was inexplicably strange, Bernard Fanning and the boys absolutely smashed it at centre field with a mash-up of their hit (Baby I’ve Got You) On My Mind and AC/DC’s It’s A Long Way To The Top.

They broke our hearts all over again in 2020 when they rejected a mega bucks offer to reunite in 2020 to perform at the first ever grand final to be played in Brisbane because of pandemic lockdowns in Victoria.

“A very generous and enticing proposal was made by Mr (Michael) Gudinski and the AFL board (thanks ladies & gents) but it is not to be this time folks,” the band said when rejecting the offer.

Australian Idol finalists, wearing Collingwood and Brisbane guernseys at the MCG ahead of the grand final. Picture: NCA.

Reality television takeover mismatch

When Collingwood and Brisbane faced off 20 years ago at the 2003 AFL Grand Final, the first series of Australian Idol was one of the most watched shows on television.

So Network Ten, which broadcast the big game then, indulged in some cross-promotion by lining up the finalists including Guy Sebastian, Shannon Noll, Paulini and Rob Mills to mime to a pre-recorded version of One Day In September.

It looked as awkward as it sounds.

Originally published as AFL Grand Final best and worst live acts, and who’s on Collingwood’s wishlist