Why Seinfeld’s Unfrosted proves he’s untouchable

It’s packed full of cameos from his celebrity pals. But Jerry Seinfeld’s ode to cereal still fails to snap, crackle and pop, writes Leigh Paatsch.

Leigh Paatsch runs the rule over three big new releases.

UNFROSTED (M)

Rating: ★★½

Now streaming on Netflix

Christian Slater and Jerry Seinfeld in Unfrosted. Picture: John P. Johnson/Netflix

Jerry Seinfeld is a big deal at Netflix. The evergreen appeal of his legendary sitcom, the steady supply of stand-up specials, and the promise of further episodes of his hit interview show Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee all give Seinfeld a green-light to do as he pleases on the world’s biggest streaming platform.

This explains the existence of Unfrosted, a fair-to-middling feel-good feature that marks Seinfeld’s directorial debut. He also takes the lead role here as a cynical marketing executive caught up in a mid-1960s war between the breakfast cereal behemoths Kellogg’s and Post.

The battle for a bigger market share will eventually bring about the invention of the Pop Tart, a morning staple still sliding into toasters and microwaves around the globe today.

Sensing the factual flimsiness of his own premise, Seinfeld leans hard on loading every scene with cameos from comedian pals, and cracking mildly mirthful jokes about the era in question.

Co-stars Melissa McCarthy, Amy Schumer, Jim Gaffigan.

KINGDOM OF THE PLANET OF THE APES (M)

Director: Wes Ball (The Maze Runner)

Starring: Owen Teague, Kevin Durand, Freya Allan

Rating: ★★★½

Time to go Ape all over again

The Planet of the Apes has been exciting, disturbing and enrapturing viewers for almost 60 years.

However, it was only at the turn of the previous decade that a sometimes shifty saga knuckled down and got serious about the work at hand.

The spectacular end result was what has come to be known as ‘The Caesar Trilogy’: three thematically sophisticated and flawlessly produced action movies powered by a mastery of performance-capture technology still yet to be matched.

Tools have remained down for the Apes franchise for quite some time, largely because the trilogy – and the exemplary work of actor Andy Serkis in the lead role – was just too tough an act to follow.

Until now, that is. Somewhat shrewdly, the all-new Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes arrives not so much as a formal reboot of the series. Rather, this is a complete remapping of the entire Apes universe: a shift in time and a refining of mythology that points to great things to come.

Noa (Owen Teague), Soona (Lydia Peckham) and Anaya (Travis Jeffery) experience the truth about Proximus and his marauding army first-hand. Picture: 20th Century Studios

The new movie opens several generations after the heroic deeds of Caesar. Apes are now ensconced at the top of the evolutionary league ladder, with the power dynamic between the longtime primate rivals now fully reversed.

To put it simply: apes can speak, and indeed act on those words. Humans are unable to speak, let alone fend for themselves.

As we know from all previous Planet of the Apes instalments, there must be some form of open rebellion or covert resistance afoot to command our full attention.

This is where a young, up-and-coming ape named Noa (Owen Teague) enters the picture.

Though still quite sheltered when it comes to the ways of the world – particularly a world controlled so brutally by the war lord Proximus Caesar (Kevin Durand) – Noa gradually comes to realise that the dominance of his species is heading towards a dangerously doomed destination.

While Proximus and his marauding army pretend they are upholding the honourable doctrines laid down by the original Caesar, Noa and his close tribal friends Anaya (Travis Jeffrey) and Soona (Lydia Peckham) experience the truth first-hand and have no choice but to do something about it.

Noa (Owen Teague) learns what it takes to be a freedom fighter from Nova (Freya Allan). Picture: 20th Century Studios

The catalyst for Noa’s unlikely challenge to the Proximus regime is a wary alliance with a young human woman, Mae (Freya Allan). This scrappy solo survivalist will not only teach Noa all about what it takes to be a freedom fighter, miraculously Mae also comes armed with the ability to speak.

While no performance matches the high bar set by Serkis as Caesar back in the day, the relatively unknown cast do a fine job establishing and expanding a whole new array of characters.

The battle and chase sequences certainly do not disappoint in any way. Same goes for a compelling finale which leaves the long-running series heading in a fascinating new direction.

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes is in cinemas now

TAROT (M)

Rating: ★

General release

Avantika Vandanapu in the underwhelming Tarot.

An underwhelming horror film light on for real frights or even the faintest chills. Some college students rent out a mansion for a birthday party blast.

Running low on booze, they case the joint for more beer. One door is marked ‘Keep Out’.

Inside is a dusty ’ol pack of cards which will shuffle most of the characters off towards a swift demise on the premises.

The movie pitches up the occasional softball scare which might catch a few horror newbies off-guard, and is then content to sit on its hands for many minutes at a time.

Audience members who stick with this card-carrying stinker to the end will stagger away with a single pearl of wisdom to ponder: Hollywood dealt it. You smelt it.

Originally published as Why Seinfeld’s Unfrosted proves he’s untouchable