Prince William plots Palace overhaul

New reporting suggests that the Prince of Wales is considering a plan to radically alter the future of the monarchy.

I think I can confidently say with zero evidence or any even vaguely factual basis that King Charles has never seen the Wes Craven slasher masterpiece, Scream. However, a working knowledge of the classic might come in handy.

Because the call, the threat, the ‘uh-oh…’ is coming from inside the palace.

The year 2024 has been, for Crown Inc, what is technically termed a massive bummer.

The family — and the family business — have only made it thus far thanks to the best medical care money can conjure; to indefatigable Princess Anne’s willingness to increase her workload such that she is about to start doing pre-dawn official engagements; and Queen Camilla having found some duct tape while hiding out in the potting shed. (Tuesdsays are Charles’ homoeopathy working group.)

But now comes a new possible danger to this already barely-holding-on outfit in the form of recently outed Swiftie and Doting-Dad-in-Chief, Prince William.

If the King’s last decade near, and at the top, of the pecking order has seen the royal family slimmed down then the ascension of William V could see things become positively emaciated.

Britain's Prince William, Prince of Wales attends the UEFA Euro 2024 Group C football match between Denmark and England at the Frankfurt Arena in Frankfurt am Main on June 20, 2024. Picture: Kirill Kudryavtsev/AFP

The prince has seemingly been giving plenty of thought as to how he will run the show one day and thanks to the Daily Mail and the Daily Beast this week we have been given a view into his plans.

It’s bad news for London’s cheapo royal souvenir sellers because at some point I’m not sure there is going to be anyone much left.

Already, thanks to Charles’ trim, taut vision of the royal family (and Prince Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s evacuation to the US West Coast), William has been left as the only working royal of his generation. (That’s one out of eight of the late Queen’s grandchildren.)

Palace balcony appearances now only boast Waleses, the King’s two remaining working siblings and a few 70, 80 and 90-something distant cousins that few people who are not royal writers could actually name.

And William has no plans to fix this — if anything, in years to come when he takes the reins it could well end up even emptier still.

The Mail’s Richard Eden who has spoken to a friend of William’s about his plans and the Prince of Wales has no intention of reversing the King’s course.

Britain's Prince William, Prince of Wales (L) and Britain's Catherine, Princess of Wales in London on June 23, 2023. Picture: Henry Nicholls/AFP

The prince is, according to the chum, in “full agreement” with His Majesty about keeping the royal family as lean as possible, an approach he will extend to his own children. William and you would have to assume Kate, the Princess of Wales too, don’t exactly sound keen on Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis taking on full-time official royal lives either.

“When the older members of the family retire, [William] won’t be inviting anyone else to become working royals. It remains to be seen if he will even want his two younger children to be working royals,” the friend told Eden.

This has all been backed up by the Beast’s Tom Sykes with the younger Wales kidlets possibly ending up having these swell things called ‘jobs’ and ‘lives’.

As a source told Sykes: “The option isn’t there for George, of course, but the children have been kept at arm’s length from royal life. They are exposed to the minimum possible publicity, and that is a deliberate strategy to let Charlotte and Louis choose their own destiny.”

Part of William’s thinking here was reportedly shaped by the tumult and trauma of Megxit.

Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex at the Invictus Games Düsseldorf on September 13, 2023. Picture: Chris Jackson/Getty Images for the Invictus Games Foundation

“Although he absolutely puts the blame on Meghan and Harry, he does of course also appreciate that the whole system, where one of your kids is less important than the other due to an accident of birth, had a massive part to play in what happened and how it happened,” a friend told Sykes.

“[The Prince of Wales] doesn’t want to put them through a human mincer that is going to cause everyone misery. He and Catherine adore the children, and their whole lives are about the children. I think they want to find a practical solution to the ‘spare’ problem that has bedevilled the family for generations.”

Historically, those born second and third in line to the throne have hardly had happy, content lives. Princess Margaret found solace in whiskey and beetling off to Mustique to top up her leathery tan while Prince Andrew is a walking cautionary tale about the dangers of how much damage a bored, pompous ass can cause.

As another royal family friend told Sykes, “I’m sure William and Catherine don’t want history to repeat itself.”

Which makes perfect sense for Charlotte and Louis and their chances of achieving something like happiness. However the question that remains to be answered is, what about George?

How can or will one single prince carry the entire can?

Fast forward ten or 15 years, and the only working royals left will be a 20-something George, his parents and his second cousins, the by-then 70-something Duke and Duchess of Edinburgh. What he faces in terms of sheer workload and responsibility is slightly terrifying.

And for William, it makes perfect sense that he wants to prevent his younger children from suffering the Great Curse of the Spares. However, the consequences for George and for the viability and functioning of the monarchy could be titanic.

The royal family carried out more than 2,000 official engagements last year - how are five people going to be able to anywhere near that many unless they start buying Red Bull by the pallet and pulling the occasional all-nighter?

It’s also worth considering what the Buckingham Palace balcony scene might look like. If, in decades to come, whoever is King sticks to the only working royals edict, then Charlotte and Louis might vanish from there for good.

There was a time and place when Charles’ heavily rationalised and pared back version of the royal family seemed like a canny move. Projecting an image of a stream-lined and efficient Crown Inc would help buoy support and prevent it looking like too much of a bloated, anachronistic beast for a 21st century audience.

No one has summed this up better than Princess Anne herself who said during aTV interview last year: “Well, I think the ‘slimmed down’ was said in a day when there were a few more people around.

“It doesn’t sound like a good idea from where I’m standing, I would say. I’m not quite sure what else we can do.”

Me either Anne, me either.

Daniela Elser is a writer, editor and a royal commentator with more than 15 years’ experience working with a number of Australia’s leading media titles.

Originally published as Prince William plots Palace overhaul