Inside Crown Princess Mary’s close-knit family and friends in Tasmania

Denmark’s Queen-to-be Mary has remained close to her siblings, who are now godparents to young royals, along with a tight-knit band of Australian friends.

Etta Donaldson never got to hear the story of how a young Tasmanian girl met a European prince in a pub in Sydney, fell in love and married into a royal family.

Yet there would be few more proud of Mary, due to be crowned Queen of Denmark on Monday.

Sadly, Etta — Mary’s mum — passed away after a heart attack in 1997 at the age of 55, three years before the chance encounter between Mary and Prince Frederik, but is fondly remembered on the Apple Isle.

In a letter to the Mercury, Tasmania’s daily newspaper, her old friend Chris Hurley wrote how she could not “believe that Etta did not live long enough to learn of Mary’s progression from friendship with Frederik to Queen of Denmark – she would have been beside herself”.

It’s a sentiment that Mary must have felt many times over, as she went from girl next door to queen-in-waiting.

Henrietta “Etta” Donaldson, the mother of Mary Donaldson who married Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark.

In the letter Ms Hurley said the news that Mary was set to take the throne had rekindled “many happy memories” of working with her mother Etta, a personal assistant at the University of Tasmania.

“Memories include ones of her daughter Mary coming in every afternoon after school, anxious to go horse riding – often ahead of Etta’s 5.05pm work commitment,” Ms Hurley wrote.

“Mary will not remember me individually, but she may remember the group of Etta’s friends, the Eightsome, of which I was privileged to be one.”

She said that the Eightsome celebrated Mary and Frederik’s 2004 wedding, by getting together and watching it on TV at the Hotel Grand Chancellor in Hobart.

In unusually candid documentary called Mary Elizabeth Donaldson from 2003, the then princess-to-be spoke to a Danish film crew openly about her loss, saying she could not have asked “for a better mother”, who even overcame her fear of horses so Mary could pursue the sport she loved.

Etta, whose nickname for her youngest daughter growing up was ‘princess’, has sadly missed many family milestones, including Mary’s wedding to Prince Frederik, and the births of their four children Prince Christian, 18, Princess Isabella, 16 and twins Prince Vincent and Princess Isabella, 13.

But although her mum has not been there for the big moments in her life, Mary has a good support network in her tight knit family, most of whom still live in Hobart. While some of them will be there to witness her being crowned, sadly her father John Donaldson is believed to be in an aged care facility and too unwell to travel.

In the unearthed documentary still available on YouTube Mary introduces her family to the Dutch audience for the first time including her father, then still working as a professor of applied mathematics, who reveals he was “more of a disciplinarian than necessary” when his kids were growing up.

Crown Princess Mary's father, Professor John Donaldson, and his wife, Susan Donaldson, arrive in January 2006 at Christiansborg Palace Chapel, Copenhagen, for the christening of Prince Christian. Picture: AFP P/Scanpix/Erik Refner

John’s second wife and crime author Susan, is also shown in the film.

She also introduces her two elder sisters Jane Stephens, a pharmacist, and Patricia Bailey, a nurse, and her brother John Donaldson Jr, an engineer, who later moved to Perth, as well as a number of nephews and nieces.

Unlike the image she portrays today, Mary is quite informal, throwing her arms around her loved ones, looking happy and relaxed.

The most emotional part of the documentary is when the film crew ask Mary about the moment her father phoned her in Melbourne where she was working at an advertising agency, to tell her her mother had died.

“I remember my feelings vividly and clearly. I went into total shock. I dropped the phone and just kicked very, very hard, as if I wanted to hurt myself,” Mary said before wiping away tears.

Mary’s bridesmaids in 2004 (from left), Amber Petty, Jane Stephens and Patricia Bailey. Picture: AP Photo/John McConnico

Mary remains close to her siblings who are all now godparents to young royals.

There are no Meghan Markle or Prince Harry type family fallouts here – not that we know of anyway.

They are all resolutely tight lipped when it comes to their now very famous relative.

A Tasmanian personality who did not want to be named, but who has met Princess Mary and her sisters said they are “down to earth, decent people”.

“They are really close, that is the sense I get, and still really love and embrace her (Mary),” he said.

However, he goes on to say their sister marrying a prince has been “a strange aberration in their family”.

“They have had to cope with it. They have coped, rather than loved it,” he said.

Soon-to-be Danish Crown Princess Mary Donaldson with older sister Jane Stephens on their way out for the 2004 hen's night for their sister Patricia Woods. Picture: News Limited.

Crown Princess Mary (right) leaving a Hobart gallery with her sister Patricia Bailey.

There are old friends who have also lasted the distance, including Hamish Campbell, one of Mary’s former flatmates, who is godfather to Prince Christian, the future king.

Other Aussies in her circle of trust include marketing manager Jospehine Rechner, and university friend Dr Nadine Johnston, again both godparents. Former Sydney flatmate Kylie Matthews, who once described Mary as “one of my closest friends” was also on one of the christening guestlists.

Another long standing friend and confidante of the soon-to-be queen is her bridesmaid Amber Petty, who she met in Melbourne and who later moved to Sydney when Mary was living there.

Ms Petty has spoken often about her “love” for Mary, her soulmate, and how devastated she was when she moved to Europe to be with Frederik.

Crown Princess Mary of Denmark with friend Amber Petty in Sydney, 2005.

Crown Princess Mary, with Princess Isabella, takes a day out with friend Amber Petty at the Salamanca markets in Hobart.

When asked about her friend’s impending promotion to the top job, she told News Corp she couldn’t make any comment about Mary’s new role aside from “it’s wonderful and I’m proud of her”.

Petty, who has been a controversial figure in the past due to her choice of boyfriends, her stint on reality TV, and a book detailing her mental health issues, including behind the scenes details of Mary’s wedding, never achieved godparent status, but nevertheless holidays with the princess and was last seen with Mary when she was in Australia, just before Christmas.

Unofficial biographer Emma Tom spoke to people who knew the princess growing up in Something about Mary: from girl about town to Crown Princess, published in 2005.

Like many journalists before her, she was unable to find any rogue boyfriends or drunken nights out, only some bad 1980s hair, dodgy outfits and her inability to take a good photograph. She has since had training on that score.

One fellow student said there was no “scandal or dirt”.

“At parties you never saw her vomiting or being really drunk or anything,” he said. “She was always in control.”

Sandy Bay Infant School photo from 1977 shows Mary Donaldson (2nd row, left).

Tom discovers the adjective most commonly used to describe Mary is “nice”, including her teachers who remember her as being capable and “having a nice smile”.

“Mary was no bad Bart Simpson. But she wasn’t a standout Lisa Simpson, either,” Tom concluded.

Rachel Edwards, a producer on the ABC radio show Tasmania Mornings grew up in the state at a similar time to Mary and said her education would have been very conservative.

“She was a Taroona High School girl, which has a skatey culture,” Ms Edwards said. “They know how to party. Whether Mary did or not, who is to say?”

She said Mary’s sisters rarely speak out and “friends are very circumspect”.

“We don’t get people sharing gossipy stories about her,” she said.

Ms Edwards said Mary becoming queen was a welcome good news story, amongst all the doom and gloom.

Just like Mary, who never makes too much of a fuss, Tasmanians are being pretty “low key” about the whole thing too.

Former premier Will Hodgman wrote back in an email when asked to comment on Mary’s new role, “I am not sure how much I could contribute, other to say it is a source of great pride for many Tasmanians”.

In a phone call he revealed they went to law school together, shared the same circle of friends and that she was “impressive, but natural, with no pretensions”.

Ms Edwards said one elderly male listener phoned in this week to say he had written a poem about Mary.

How very Tasmanian and well, very nice. Just like our new Aussie queen.

Originally published as Inside Crown Princess Mary’s close-knit family and friends in Tasmania