Dear McDonald’s, why did you fire me in 1998?

THEY say our early experiences of failure produce the drive to succeed, but I’m still smarting from my humiliating defeat.

THEY say it’s our early experiences of failure that produce the drive needed to succeed in life, but I’m still smarting from my humiliating defeat.

It was December of 1997 and I was a myopic young girl of 14-and-three-quarters.

Desperate to save my social life by investing in a set of contact lenses, I was determined to enter the job market as soon as legally possible.

So I printed off a bunch of CVs and dropped that around to all the fast food outlets near my home in the wilds of western Sydney.

I could not have been more thrilled when I nabbed a job at McDonald’s Werrington, a busy 24-hour outlet on the Great Western Highway.

Signing at the dotted line and putting on my uniform, I embarked on a three-month trial that took me from the fryer to the cash register to front of house.

I came to understand the meaning of the word “hustle” (translation: “hurry the f*** up) as I swept, mopped and emptied the bins that seemed to refill the moment I turned my back on them.

Admittedly, owing to my genetic misfortune, I was blind as a bat for those first few shifts — but the moment my first pay hit my bank account, I went straight to the optometrist and learned how to poke my eyeballs without flinching.

Eyesight restored, I threw myself into the job.

I remember the satisfying feeling of shaking a serving of crisp, salted fries into their cardboard container, and the continual beep-beep-beep of a kitchen that ran like clockwork.

Sliding the paper napkin onto the plastic tray and arranging the meal components on top, trying to remember which buttons to press on the pre-touchscreen era cash register ... It all seems like it was yesterday.

But it was not to last.

McDonald’s is a place for shiny, happy people. Picture: Jeremy Piper

After three months as a Macca’s chick, I was called into an office and informed that unfortunately, I had not passed my three month trial.
Some kind of score system was explained to me, but I was too busy trying to hide my humiliation to take it all in.

I was devastated.

Over the years, I turned my McDonald’s experience into a lighthearted anecdote, something I could laugh at once I’d gained a law degree and a career in my dream field, journalism.

But deep down, I’ve always wondered why I wasn’t good enough to work at the world’s most famous fast food chain.

And I came up with all sorts of possible explanations for my failure.

One conspiracy theory I latched onto was that the store manager preferred bubbly blondes. I was a pasty, dark-haired, introspective and bespectacled teen (think ‘Daria’ from the MTV cartoon series).

Daria, my spirit animal.

However, a few people have mentioned to me that some fast food stores have a policy of overhiring young new recruits, and then culling down to the number of staff they actually need. The possibility that such a simple explanation may lie behind my Macca’s rejection was a massive relief.

I wrote to McDonald’s and asked them to clear things up so I could put the matter to rest and move on with my life.

A spokeswoman for the chain shot down all my excuses, assuring me that it was not company policy to hire more staff than the business needed.

“Macca’s has always been about making great food and delivering great service, so our crew recruitment criteria has remained largely unchanged since we first opened our doors,” the spokeswoman said in a statement.

“We’re one of Australia’s largest employers of youth and are always looking to add more team players to our 100,000-strong crew.

“Jobs at McDonald’s are in high demand, for every job we have available, we receive seven applications.

“The type of people we look to hire into our crew tend to have an infectious attitude and are ready to provide a high level of customer service … all while having fun with the rest of their crew.”

And the reason I was rejected?

“Our records don’t go back quite that far, but each of our licensees is encouraged to recruit the crew that’s right for their restaurant, so the reasons why people are hired on an ongoing basis vary depending on the restaurant and employee.”

I guess I’ll never know why Macca’s didn’t want me. Their loss — I definitely would have been a store manager by now.

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Originally published as Dear McDonald’s, why did you fire me in 1998?