The King and I: Kate and Charles’s very special relationship
The Princess of Wales and her children seem to have brought out a far softer side in Charles
When the Princess of Wales received an invitation to join the King for lunch at Windsor Castle earlier this month it was gratefully accepted. The circumstances, however, were far from perfect. The day before, Kate had filmed an extraordinary video in which she explained that she was undergoing treatment for cancer that was found after abdominal surgery.
At that stage only a handful of people were in Kate’s circle of trust, including the BBC Studios camera crew who filmed her announcement. With such high stakes the princess had chosen to work with the team who filmed Queen Elizabeth’s Covid address to the nation.
While the lunch was a private moment between the two, it is understood that for the King it was an opportunity to tell his daughter-in-law that he was “so proud” of her “courage” in speaking out - comments that would be reiterated the next day when the video was released.
On Tuesday the ever-growing bond between the King and Kate became official when he appointed his “beloved daughter-in-law” a Royal Companion of the Order of the Companions of Honour.
It is a unique award - this is the first time a member of the royal family has been appointed to the Companions of Honour. And it comes with historic grounding, having been founded by King George V in 1917 to recognise outstanding achievements in the arts, sciences, medicine and public service. Contemporary recipients include Paul McCartney, JK Rowling, Delia Smith and Elton John. Yet even those names would struggle to reach the star appeal that the Princess of Wales brings to the British monarchy.
Since the princess and the King’s cancer diagnoses a Palace source says that the King has “remained in the closest contact with his beloved daughter-in-law throughout the past weeks”. The King and Queen visited Kate’s bedside when the two were admitted to the London Clinic in Marylebone. Kate was recovering from abdominal surgery when Charles went to the same hospital for treatment on an enlarged prostate. The senior members of the royal family were given a private wing in the hospital, and after his procedure Charles made two visits to check on Kate’s progress before he was discharged.
Strangely, their conditions have mirrored each other since. In both cases cancer was found in post-operative tests. Charles is undergoing cancer treatment while Kate is having “preventative chemotherapy”. Palace sources say their conditions have brought them closer than ever.
Kate and her children certainly seem to have brought out a far softer side to Charles that was not always obvious in the way in which he dealt with his sons. William hasn’t always followed his father’s lead, preferring to run his own office his own way. Kate, however, provides a bridge between father and son, their relationship appearing to give an insight into what sort of a father Charles might have been to a daughter. Without the age-old father-son dynamic with which every family is familiar Charles might have been able to be more gentle to, or at least a little less demanding of, a daughter than his sons.
The same might have been true with Meghan, had the Duke and Duchess of Sussex decided to stick around. Charles was proud to walk Meghan down the aisle on her wedding day when her father was too ill to attend. And there was a part of Meghan’s 5am-email-energy that no doubt appealed to the hard-working King.
Kate’s unwavering respect for the institution is evident, and has made Charles deeply appreciative. Watch next time they’re in public together and you’ll see that the deepest curtsy for the King always comes from Kate. That’s not to say that their relationship is officious or constrained by custom. It’s more than that. Kate offers the King the three qualities found in all the greatest friendships: she shares his interests, she’s loyal and, perhaps most important, in a world of flummery and protocol she makes him laugh.
When the pair took part in a rare joint engagement at the Dulwich Picture Gallery in London in 2012 to mark Elizabeth’s Diamond Jubilee year they dissolved into giggles like naughty schoolchildren while sitting side by side to cut patterns with scissors. When Kate greeted Charles at a G7 reception in Cornwall in 2021 she said, “Hello, Grandpa, how are you?” using the name that her three children call him. During the funeral of his father, Prince Philip, Kate was seen throwing an arm around Charles and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
The King is understood to be thrilled that the move to Windsor, driven in part by Kate’s desire to be closer to her and William’s family, means that he can see more of his grandchildren. In Norfolk too they can easily spend private time together if they so choose, with Kate and William’s rural retreat Anmer Hall a short walk from the big house at Sandringham.
At 75 the King must have the self-awareness to recognise that in Kate William has someone who can offer the stability that Charles, with his tumultuous relationship with Diana, couldn’t provide during William’s childhood. Monday will be the 13th anniversary of Kate marrying William and joining the Firm. In royal terms she has earned her stripes. In that time Charles has been able to see her great personal strengths, particularly when senior members of the royal family rallied around Elizabeth over the “Harry issue”.
When the Sussexes used an interview with Oprah Winfrey to dish the dirt on the Windsors from a sunlit Montecito patio, Kate was instrumental in the way in which Elizabeth replied. Kate was strongly “of the view” that the phrase “recollections may vary” ought to be included in Elizabeth’s public response.
Now, with her extraordinary determination not only to bear the slings and arrows that come with the job but to bravely face her health crisis, Kate has become the daughter Charles never had.
The Times
