Happy Days: the scooter that’s affordable, Australian made and has a cool name
The Fonz Arthur 3 is fantastically manoeuvrable, cute as a button but I can’t remember the last time I rode something where the zero to 100km/h time was “never”.
If I stopped to count all the things that make me feel old – my loathing of TikTok, failing to realise that the term “tranny bingo” now contains a banned word, the fact that my eyes are no longer flawless wonders of homo sapien adaptation – I’d be genuinely ancient by the time I finished, but occasionally, one of these signals comes along that actually makes me smile.
When I found out that one of the electric motorcycles that Australian brand Fonz makes is called the Arthur, it made my teeth appear, unbidden. You really have to be of a certain age to get the reference, and to chuckle to yourself when remembering that beloved character’s physical inability to admit he was “wrr … wrrrr … wrong”.
This particular thought path did also prove that my memory is increasingly unreliable, as I was sure that Arthur Fonzarelli’s motorcycle in Happy Days was a Harley, but it turns out it was a 1949 Triumph Trophy 500. Despite being even older than me, I am pretty sure his Triumph boasted significantly more grunt than the Fonz I had agreed to ride, which became immediately obvious when the bloke explaining the Arthur to me showed me how to switch to its most powerful mode, “to go up hills”.
Now, I should point out that my feelings about this scooter, perhaps the only EV I could actually afford to buy, at $7790, are very much informed by the fact that I am a tough, gravel-rashed and formerly fearless motorcyclist. As such, I am required to curse all scooter-style bikes as offensively effeminate, even though some of my most memorable riding experiences have been on just such pseudo-cycles in places like Thailand and Greece (riding a scooter is only acceptable while on holiday in other countries, much like enjoying a drink with an umbrella in it).
The fact is, I only decided to borrow a Fonz because a friend of mine has been raving about his ever since he bought it and proceeded to get his L plates on it. As a first-time rider in his later years, he was thrilled with the bike’s acceleration, chuffed that it was also a zero-emission machine that didn’t make stupid, childish raspberry noises like other bikes and keen to explain that you could remove its little briefcase-sized battery and take it into your house to recharge it from a normal power point (the Arthur 3 I was on offers 130km of range from its 3.3kWh battery).
As a learner, his Fonz felt more than adequate to him, and it was also fantastically manoeuvrable, cute as a button (it’s also the same size as a button) and easy to park – it even has a reverse gear, something previously only seen on huge touring bikes like the Honda Goldwing.
I tried to keep his perspective of approaching the Arthur as a first-time rider who only wanted to take his bike on short inner-city trips and would never venture on to a freeway as I cursed its existence and 8.5kW output for much of our week together.
It is no exaggeration to say that I have rarely encountered a motor vehicle of any kind that frightened me as much as the Fonz. It’s not just that it lacked the power to pull an ant off a blade of grass, or that it felt so small and insubstantial that it seemed like I was riding a briefcase on wheels, or even the way that its electric-motor set-up meant that it featured no engine braking at all – get off the throttle and it just keeps spinning along, although admittedly never at any great speed. It also felt, and this is largely just a result of having 12-inch wheels that might have been stolen off a toddler’s toy stroller, like the suspension was determined to kick me in the coccyx.
Yes, as I failed to reach the 70km/h speed limit up a steep bridge in Sydney I felt somewhat un-manned – in fact, it struck me that I can’t remember the last time I rode something where the zero to 100km/h time was “never” (top speed is allegedly 85km/h) – but it wasn’t just my stupid male pride that was the problem.
In my experience, the only things that will keep you alive on the road if you are damn fool enough to ride a motorbike are the fact that they can stop far more effectively than a car, they can change direction faster, they’re noisy enough that people at least hear you coming and, vitally, they have enough power that you can instantly zap yourself out of danger. See a gap, twist the throttle and you are there, instantly. But not on the Fonz, which accelerates with all the alacrity of a banana and makes no noises at all to warn people that you’re coming, and that you’ll be there in about an hour.
Clearly, I am not the target market for the Fonz, even if I am in the right demographic, and if I was a learner, or had never ridden an actual motorcycle, I would see the Arthur through different eyes. So if you are looking for an electric scooter that’s affordable, Australian made and has a cool name, perhaps you should just ignore me and go and try it for yourself.
Fonz Arthur 3
Engine: Single electric motor (8.5kW)
Fuel economy: 0 litres per 100km
Transmission: Single-speed, belt driven, rear-wheel drive
Price: $7790
Rating: 2 out of 5