All that glitters: The Langham Gold Coast, Surfers Paradise, Qld
The Gold Coast’s newest beachside property offers eye-opening encounters with low-grade celebrities.
We have been in the pool at the Gold Coast’s shiny new The Langham for approximately 10 minutes before – let’s call him Stan – strikes up a conversation with us. All gym-buffed and tanned, with the sort of tattoos requisite for being poolside on the Gold Coast these days, Stan fills us in that he’s about to be one of the bad guys on the forthcoming series of Married At First Sight. “I didn’t realise I was one of the villains until I saw the preview of the show,” he says with some regret. “It was really a stitch-up.” But he shrugs it off and swims off to the poolside bar for a cocktail and there strikes up a new conversation, possibly on the same topic, with a lady who looks like she could be a bikini model.
Meanwhile, a group of gentlemen on the other side of us are discussing their recent ASIC raid. “I went and got 10 coffees and took ’em over to the cops and said to them ‘cop this’,” one fellow recounts. “I was like, ‘If you’re gonna be at my house all day you should have coffee’.”
We feel it’s time to depart the pool. It’s no hardship to leave, in any event, for this wet zone, much photographed and featured in glistening publicity material and all over Instagram, is rather undersized to service the three huge glass towers that jut skyward from this prime beachfront slice of Surfers Paradise. It’s no exaggeration to say the pool is swimming with people, like a human soup. Brave souls, too, for the gale buffeting the coastline has made a wind tunnel of this narrow common space that sits between the high-rises more like a water feature than a functional resort lagoon. Oh, for more temperate weather and a little wind protection.
The Langham Gold Coast launched in late 2022 in a blaze of publicity and the much-pushed line that it is “the first new hotel with direct beach access built on the Gold Coast for more than 30 years”. Most of the $1.5 billion towers are occupied by a residential development called The Jewel, with the hotel taking pride of place in the centre building.
The property has been controversial, with the residential buildings dubbed “ghost towers” because although the towers were largely completed in 2019 by their Chinese developers, some residences are only now being offered for sale. About 40 units worth an estimated $60 million were released in December.
This is by the by for tourists, but it’s worth noting you will share the common areas with the likes of Stan, who rents a one-bedder in The Jewel (“I’m about to move out though because it’s like a broom closet and the garage is broken”.)
Our “Ocean View” room on level 5 should technically be called a “Partial Ocean View” room given most of the sea aspect is blocked by a large unused pavilion that sits in front of our window. The sliver of ocean we see when we are making tea (we can’t see it from the bed) is beautiful.
The room itself offers some excellent amenities including Diptyque toiletries and Tavalon teas. The rainwater shower in the spacious bathroom (complete with bath) receives a workout from us. The overall room fitout offers nods to a Scandi luxe styling, with polished oak floors and grey hues; it’s modern and comfortable.
The highlight of the hotel is the gleaming lobby and ground-floor bar area, lavishly spectacular, if again a little cosy in size. Huge floral arrangements and Moët installations, including a Moët vending machine and mini pink campervan stocked with even more Moët, add touches of razzle-dazzle upon entry. Go for high tea if you have the cash, served in the plush Palm Court Lounge that sits between the lobby and the pool. High tea starts at $109, not including bottled water, champagne or other cold drinks, but it is a lush experience of mini desserts, scones, sandwiches, coffee and tea; a very pleasant way to pass an afternoon when the wind is howling off the ocean.
There’s plenty more to the hotel: a large indoor pool on level 2, a well-appointed gym and a day spa. A Chinese restaurant called T’ang Court looks geared towards international visitors. The hotel also offers buffet breakfasts, an additional $59 per person, if that’s your speed.
We don’t run into Stan again, which is a shame, because we have questions. I guess we’ll have to tune in to find out what happens next.
Perfect for: Eye-opening Gold Coast encounters with low-grade celebrities.
Must do: If the weather is conducive, head out the front of the property for a swim and sun bake on this magnificent stretch of beachfront. If it’s windy or cool, head down to Burleigh Heads to explore the excellent cafe scene there. Tarte Bakery & Cafe (1748 Gold Coast Highway, Burleigh Heads) is the pick of the eateries and offers extremely good breakfasts.
Getting there: The Langham is a 30-minute drive from Gold Coast airport.
Rates: From $550 per night