What this Balinese surf retreat taught me about patience and empowerment
There’s been a surge in the number of older women taking up surfing and heading off on trips dedicated to the sport. What’s the appeal? | WATCH VIDEO
“Get up! Get up!” The words are an order, shouted emphatically like a captain rousing army cadets from sleep. But we are very much awake, albeit lying down. Bobby, senior coach with the Rip Curl School of Surf in Bali, is urging us to our feet as our boards surge forward on to a wave.
As anyone who has tried surfing knows, the learning curve is steep and humbling. It’s not just a case of paddling, jumping up and riding a wave to shore or magically performing cutbacks. There are many factors to consider – choosing the right wave, when to paddle, when to “pop up”, which way to direct your board, where to place your feet and how to distribute your weight. Frankly, I consider just staying upright a major achievement. Having someone to call out instructions as my brain tries to pull those pieces of the jigsaw together in a matter of seconds is enormously helpful.
I had my first lesson 18 months ago in Australia and it feels like my training wheels are only just coming off. This trip to Bali is a chance to challenge myself and clock up the kind of intensive practice that’s impossible when you live an hour from the nearest beach. I’m not alone. As a guest of Goddess Retreats in Seminyak, I have six other women in my cheer squad. And there is a lot of cheering. We celebrate every successful ride with whoops, sympathise with every wipeout and offer encouragement when we get stuck in the impact zone, getting thumped by dumpers. Aged from mid-30s to mid-50s, we are part of a new wave of older female surfers either learning the sport for the first time or revisiting their youth, and taking themselves off on women-only surf trips. Let’s call it a sisterhood of the travelling board shorts.
An estimated 2.5 million Australians are recreational surfers, with most concentrated in the 18-35 age bracket, although many continue the sport well into their later years. More recently, there’s been a big rise in the number of women taking it up for the first time in their 40s and 50s, even older, when they might be less consumed by careers or the intensive parenting of young children. In 2022, for instance, the Australian Sports Commission reported about 200,000 people had taken up surfing since 2019, the majority of them women.
It’s a trend that Sally Oman, a lifelong surfer and Academy of Surfing instructor, identified soon after setting up her surf school at Umina on the NSW Central Coast in 2017. She started teaching kids after school, a natural extension of her job as a high school PE teacher. When the mums expressed a desire to learn too, she began offering adult classes. Demand grew quickly and in 2023 she made the decision to swap the conventional classroom for an ocean-bound one full-time.
“I didn’t start the surf school thinking I was going to ever leave teaching,” she says. “I thought that was my career forever and the surf school was just to boost my income.”
Her business, Sal’s Surf School, now has 70 women on the books and about 100 kids, evenly divided between boys and girls, plus she runs women-only surf trips to NSW spots such as Crescent Head and Gerringong several times a year. Oman didn’t intend for her adult cohort to be predominantly women (she does get a handful of men joining in) but she’s found ladies are more inclined to seek professional help when learning something new in an environment that can be scary. Her clients, of which I’m one, range in age from 35 to 70 years but she’s noticed a marked rise at the more mature end of the spectrum.
“We have had a big increase in older women in their late 50s, 60s, who have either retired or they’ve cut back work and now they’ve finally got time for themselves, and they’re all kicking themselves that they didn’t learn to surf earlier … I think women are really just rubbish at putting themselves first because everyone else comes before them when they’re a parent.”
Oman believes many women are turning to the sport as a panacea for life’s challenges. “Something significant has changed in their life that’s brought them to surfing, so whether they’ve become a mum or they’ve had a relationship break down … they’re often coming for their own mental health. They always feel better after a lesson.”
Perth-raised Chelsea Ross, who founded Goddess Retreats in Seminyak, Bali, 22 years ago, also finds many of her guests are in a transitional stage of life, and she’s not just talking about menopause. Many spent years as primary carers or working hard at a profession. They have more financial stability, more freedom and are breaking free from conventional societal shackles of what 40 and 50-year-old women “should” be doing. “They’re always women who are interested in continually growing and improving,” Ross says. “That’s the type of women who are attracted to this type of holiday.”
Two decades ago, Ross recalls, there were no surf schools or retreats on the holiday island, and certainly nothing for women. “Puberty Blues was a documentary, it really was. We weren’t encouraged to surf,” she says, jokingly referring to the 1981 film adaptation of the coming-of-age novel by Kathy Lette and Gabrielle Carey.
Ross took up the sport at the relatively late age of 27 after meeting a former semi-professional female surfer in Bali and asking for lessons. She began teaching girlfriends, forming a close-knit network of women who loved surfing but also enjoyed the social cohesion it brought. When a friend, a yoga instructor, suggested setting up a Balinese retreat that combined yoga with boardriding, Goddess Retreats was born.
Ross teamed up early on with the nascent Rip Curl School of Surf, and put in 12 years as an instructor. These days, she’s less hands-on in the water, leaving lessons to the immensely capable Bobby and his team, who take great care of our posse. With a ratio of one teacher to two or three surfers, we catch wave after wave thanks to perfectly timed shoves by our coaches, who give directions and gently critique our technique. A photographer and drone operator ensure we have dozens of pictures and videos to take home as souvenirs.
We surf five of our six mornings at the retreat, often limbering up with a yoga session before heading to Kuta beach or the beginner-friendly “baby reef” at Sanur. Across those days, the surf ranges from one to five feet, from cruisy, crumbling waves that release their energy kindly, to steep walls of water that tumble us in a spin cycle when we fall. Kuta is clean and clear while Sanur is disappointingly blighted with plastic rubbish, although that doesn’t stop a giant turtle bobbing up in the middle of our paddle. It’s a good mix of conditions, allowing us to work on the basics while also pushing us out of our comfort zones.
Ross talks philosophically about surfing’s meditative powers, its ability to still a busy brain, engender patience and generate feelings of empowerment. To ride a wave, you have to be in the moment; not focusing on the future or the past, she says. And you certainly can’t be on your phone. “It really is a moving meditation … You’re using the energy of the ocean. You’re literally dancing on the water and you’re using the speed and the shape of the wave to carve these beautiful lines.”
Many of her guests are accomplished and capable professional women, she says, and it can be a challenge for them to adopt a “beginner’s mind”, the Zen Buddhist concept that requires being open to learning, free from expectations and self-criticism.
“It takes courage and humility to have that beginner’s mind, to want to try something new and to not be good at something again,” she says. “And a mature age is more challenging than when you’re a child … When you have a beginner’s mind you let go of all those old preconceived ideas and you allow yourself to learn, you allow yourself to explore and fail.”
She adds: “I always try to remind guests to congratulate themselves for being courageous enough to try it, because the reality is that surfing can be a very physically challenging sport.”
After each surf session, we return to the retreat, tucked down a driveway away from the hubbub of Seminyak and its relentless throng of scooters. With its lush gardens adorned with statues of Shiva and Ganesh, the property has the feel of a true sanctuary. While we’ve been out riding waves, other guests in our group of 14 have been exploring water temples, doing pilates classes and having sessions with various healers. We reconvene to swap stories at a long communal dining table in an open-air pavilion overlooking the main swimming pool.
Meals showcase Balinese flavours with dishes such as lemongrass fish skewers, leafy greens cooked with shredded coconut, and the comforting chicken noodle soup called soto ayam. Healthy snacks such as protein balls and charcoal shots to soothe potential tummy troubles are readily available, and one afternoon the table is sprinkled with flower petals and laden with a colourful high tea spread.
Accommodation ranges from private villas with two ensuite bedrooms, a pool, spa treatment room and open-air lounge, to spacious single rooms and twin rooms that pair solo guests who are happy to share. The look is beach-chic luxury, with beds draped in diaphanous curtains and an abundance of creamy linens plus rattan and palm-fibre furnishings. On our last day in Bali, we are contemplating our re-entry into reality, a place without massages and smoothies on tap. One of my fellow surfers poses the question: “How am I going to cope back in the real world without my female cheer squad celebrating every little thing I do?”
I share her concern. We have been floating along in our supportive surfing bubble and it’s hard to face returning to the daily grind. Every afternoon one of the lovely retreat hostesses has sidled up to me and inquired: “What spa treatment would you like tomorrow?” Life without a daily massage or facial is unfathomable. And how to face the day without a jar of freshly baked granola biscuits on my bedside table?
Jokes aside, it is the surfing sisterhood that has been the greatest luxury. Tackling waves on your own can be intimidating for a newbie. It’s easy to feel out of your depth when deciding where to surf, and you often expend far too much energy chasing waves an experienced rider would reject. But when you’re out there in the ocean with a gal pal or six, mistakes matter less. As Ross says, surfing should be done with a light heart; with a “non-grasping mind”, free from the pursuit of perfection.
Oman’s approach to her trips is less philosophical and certainly less indulgent, although massages and healthy food are in the mix. She’s careful not to use the word retreat – there’s no “kumbaya stuff”. But her back-to-basics ethos doesn’t detract from the joy of surfing with a group of women who’ve got your back. She always warns her guests to expect a big comedown after returning home.
Indeed, as I wait for my plane at the airport in Denpasar, flicking through photos and videos, I feel deflated, plus a touch apprehensive about impending work and family commitments. Ross’s words of surfing wisdom are a reminder to keep perspective.
“The waves are like life. There are things we have control of and there are things we don’t have control of. And the wisdom is knowing which is which … we have to surrender to the conditions of the ocean. It’s the same with life.”
In the know
Goddess Retreats has two locations in Bali, Seminyak and Ubud, with a range of customisable retreat themes, such as surfing, wellness, pilates and fitness. Seven-day surf retreat packages in Seminyak include five surf lessons with equipment, daily breakfast, lunch and yoga session, four dinners, and unlimited spa treatments. Also included are return airport transfers, cultural activities, cooking workshops, and a personalised day with a choice of more than 16 experiences, from spiritual healing sessions to mountain climbs. From $US2145 ($3300) a person in a shared twin room, with private room packages from $US2545. Upgrade to a private room in a two-bedroom pool villa from $US3445.
Sal’s Surf School at Umina on the NSW Central Coast offers 90-minute casual surf lessons ($48 an adult), weekly 90-minute lessons in six-week terms ($250 adults and teens), and women-only surf trips ranging from three to seven nights (from $975 a person), including meals, soft drinks and alcoholic beverages, surf instruction and video analysis. Trips in 2025 are fully booked although more may be added later this year.
Penny Hunter was a guest of Goddess Retreats.
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