Olympic Games conjure memories of sporting chances on the road
Who knew there were ultra-competitive pursuits such as rock climbing and how amazing are skateboarders?
How good were the Tokyo Olympics? This has been the standard greeting from friends on my daily lockdown neighbourhood walks. What a haul of medals, such team and individual triumphs, and a swag of new names to watch as their careers develop. But let’s not forget the ugly transition from verb to noun of words such as medal and podium. Yuk.
Who knew there were ultra-competitive Olympian pursuits such as sport climbing and how amazing are skateboarders? Differences between sculling and skimming? We’re all armchair experts now. I have come across many wild and crazy pastimes in my travels, from cane toad races in north Queensland to crab derbies in Fiji, wherein the critters veer off sideways, as you’d expect, and the finishing line is an elastic concept, to say the least. For the latter event, I named my competitor crab Lote Tuqiri and he sidestepped down the “wing” to victory and I won a coconut-shell dish that Australian customs swiftly confiscated.
I have “competed” in ostrich riding races in South Africa and in hindsight this was even sillier than it sounds. The big bird came to no harm, however, as I fell off in the first 20 seconds, which was less humiliating than being weighed pre-race and having my poundage announced on a loudspeaker.
I have been a spectator at the annual Cheese Rolling at Gloucester, England, whereby the participants chase 4kg wheels of cheddar down Coppers Hill in a mad kind of hoop-rolling contest said to be of pagan origin when “people would throw bundles of burning brushwood down the hill representing the New Year after winter ends”. There is even an event known as wife-carrying, which originated in Finland and has been listed in the Guinness Book of Records. The rules are strict: “The wife to be carried may be your own, the neighbour’s or you may have found her farther ahead; she must, however, be over 17 years of age. The minimum weight of the wife to be carried is 49kg. If she weighs less, she will be burdened with such a heavy rucksack to reach the desired minimum weight.”
Then there’s bog-snorkelling in Wales and dog surfing in California and Hawaii (pooch safely aboard with owner). At the 1900 Paris Olympics, live pigeons were used in shooting events. Off with their heads. Australia’s Donald Mackintosh, a shooter on the “European live-bird circuit”, scored two medals. We won’t be seeing any of that malarkey at the 2024 games in the French capital.
Meantime, the Commonwealth Games are in Birmingham next year. A few fresh events in the line-up could be a bonus. A wife-carrying gold medal for Australia would give us all a lift.