How to quit your job gracefully

How to say "the culture is toxic" at your exit interview ... respectfully.

How to say "the culture is toxic" at your exit interview ... respectfully.

You're one foot out the door of your current job. It's exciting and daunting, a time to envision new futures. The tired structures and routines are behind you. Almost.

Before packing your cactus away and making well-intentioned but shallow promises to still catch up with your co-workers as often as ever, you'll do an exit interview. 

Typically exit interviews are conducted by your manager or HR. It’s usually pretty brief.

Expect questions like:

• What led to your decision to leave?
• Would you recommend the company as a great place to work?
• What can we do to improve the company culture?

Exit interviews can be fraught - even if moving on is just a result of getting a new opportunity elsewhere. But there are always things employers can improve on, although raising it could do more harm than good.

One school of thought (perhaps a rather pessimistic one) says that you shouldn’t be honest in an exit interview, because you don’t have a lot to gain from your own honesty. You’ll be leaving the organisation before anything changes, right?

Head of ANZ's Small Business sector Carmella Galasso believes discretion is the best policy—rather than total and unfettered honesty.

“Navigating an exit interview can be both delicate and tricky,” says the careers expert.

Only offer areas of improvement if you believe something can and will be done about it, otherwise keep it professional, general in nature and positive."

“Many times, organisations know and have been told previously about issues but either don’t have the resources to change it or culturally don’t want to do anything to change it.”

She makes the point that it’s important not to use the time as a place for venting.

Elisabeth Moss in Mad Men.

“If you raise something new and have never raised it until the exit interview, they could potentially consider you bitter. They will no doubt ask why you have never raised it before. You must be prepared to answer that question and you may end up not looking your best, from a professional perspective.”

Galasso also believes that this is a time to make a final, lasting impression on an employer—one that could affect your future prospects and how you are perceived in the industry. 

“What you don’t want to do is ‘burn bridges’. A career is a long time, and you will meet people time and time again. You want them to speak highly of you and your skills, not about why and how you left an employer.”

Yet, the other school of thought (perhaps a rather optimistic one) says you could leave the workplace better than you found it.

But what if candour is more your style?

SEEK spokesperson and career coach Leah Lambart said she didn’t agree that honesty wasn’t the best policy here.

"Think about how you can make things better for other staff," she said.

It may not change anything for you but it gives the employer some insights about why people are leaving and the specific details around that … The organisation may not act on one exit interview feedback but if there are emerging trends from the people leaving, HR really need to know." 

“If they were going to ignore your feedback, they wouldn't even bother with the interview," she aded. 

“An exit interview is a good platform to voice how you feel and to do it in a respectful and constructive way."

It’s important to offer suggestions. Try not to be too critical but rather be constructive in your feedback. Clarify with HR beforehand that it’s a safe space and that your discussions about a particular colleague will not be directly passed on to them, for example," Lambart said.

“Focus on what is missing and what you’re leaving for as opposed to criticising what the company is doing currently.”

“You don’t have to tell them everything. Choose what's important for them to know, instead of grievances the company can't do anything about. Such as if you had a personality clash with someone, which other people haven't experienced. Focus on what is useful to make the workplace better for those staying."