Is there no respect for the sanctity of a standing ovation

The 79th Venice Internation Film Festival was all schisms, spittle, and standing ovations. 

The 79th Venice Internation Film Festival was all schisms, spittle, and standing ovations. 

A standing ovation, that leaping, flipping act of appreciation, which dates back to Ancient Rome, was de rigeur at La Biennale. Indiscriminate applause for everybody, the superlatives and the stinkers!

Whether these willy-nilly ovations count for anything is up for debate. A standing ovation is so common at film festivals that it is essentially an obligation to depart from the seat you’ve made acquaintances with over the past several hours to join your peers upright. 

So as the act of a standing ovation on its own is no indication of the movie’s brilliance as it operates under obligation, the length of applause may work as a proxy for the film’s success.

The critic’s darling Noah Baumbach’s lauded White Noise roused 150 measley standing seconds out of the crowd, while Olivia Wilde’s dystopian bellyflop, Don’t Worry Darling, had the audience hollering for a only four minutes. 

Sometimes the ovations felt special, like when Brendan Fraser, who was blacklisted by the industry after speaking out about being sexually assaulted by a former president of the Hollywood Foreign Press, enjoyed a teary-eyed six minute victory lap following The Whale. 

But for the most part, they lacked umph — it all just felt like a polite social reflex. The claps lacked vitality and vigour. There was no heart behind the slapping. The audience looked like lost little lambs, waiting for some omnipresent authority to instruct them on what to do next. When is the appropriate time to graciously opt out of the standing clap? No one wants to be the first guy to sit back down. 

Blondeenjoyed one of the longest ovations of all, with an absurd 14-minutes. My theory? That 14-minute spectacle was merely a ruse, masking the audience's dire need for physical relief over the films near three-hour running time.