In the week of his radio retirement a series of outtakes from Alan Jones’s career on the airwaves have re-emerged with one snippet, leaked to Triple J some years back, revealing how the former Wallabies coach had always blamed the movie Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom for a loss to the All Blacks in 1984.
Australia had won the first Test in Sydney and went into the second game at Ballymore full of confidence. They took a 12-0 lead before New Zealand clicked into gear and won the game 19-15.
The loss clearly rankled, even years later. Little wonder. The Wallabies went on to blow the series in a 25-24 defeat back in Sydney in the third Test.
As Jones read out an excerpt about how well Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom had done at the box office in 1984, the pain bubbled back to the surface.
“F..k, how did it rate? Bloody shit. Indiana f..king Jones,” he says in the leaked outtake. “The reason we lost the f..king second Test against the All Blacks, ’cause that movie frightened the shit out of my team the night before we played.
“We led 12-nil and fell apart at the seams. F..king (Michael) Hawker,who was terrified by the snakes, had the worst Test I’ve ever had ’cause he’d been awake all night, devoured by Indiana Jones’s temple snakes. Bastards.”
As far as theories go, it’s a doozy. But the movie is pretty scary. Hearts are ripped out of chests, people eat monkey brains. And then there’s the snakes.
But we thought we’d better check with those 1984 Wallabies — the ones who quivered at the sight of all those slippery serpents.
Wallabies captain that day Andrew Slack told us: “Hmmm, I guess that’s one of the better excuses I’ve heard. I remember that Test — it was the day Jon Sieben won gold at the Olympics — but I don’t think I went to the movies the night before. You should ask Tom Lawton. He’s got a great memory for that sort of minutia.”
Lawton, Australia’s burly hooker of the era,said: “That’s bullshit! It certainly didn’t affect me.”
We turned to Mark Ella, Australia’s masterly five-eighth who played alongside scaredy cat Hawker that day.
“I vaguely remember we went to the movies before a Test that year. It was up in Brisbane, wasn’t it?” Ella said. “We’d won the first Test and lost that one. Look, it may have happened but we were all adults. I don’t think any of us would’ve been scared of a movie.”
AWAAT couldn’t get hold of Hawker to verify his fear of snakes so luckily Ella did it for us.
“Just heard back from him,” Ella told us. “Total bullshit!”
He would say that, wouldn’t he?
Ella said he had the game on VHS somewhere but didn’t have the means to play it any more and couldn’t remember the details. We told him the game was on YouTube but he backed away: “I think I had a shocker.”
Maybe it was Ella who had been awake all night, the fear of Indy’s snakes haunting him till dawn? Nah, Ella scored every point in Australia’s 12-0 lead including a cheeky try that came after his drop-goal attempt bounced back into his arms.
But the links between Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Australian rugby keep coming. In 2015 then Brumbies coach Stephen Larkham called in his old teammate Owen Finegan to help inspire the Canberra-based side before a Super Rugby stoush with arch-rivals the Waratahs in Sydney. “Our motivation that week was we wanted to go into their little fortress and we wanted to rip their hearts out,” Finegan said at the time. So they watched the movie.
The Brumbies went on to win 51-10.
Vale, pioneer writer
It was with great sadness that we learnt of Caryl Williamson’s passing this week. Williamson had been AAP’s chief racing writer working out of the agency’s Sydney offices for the past 24 years. Her death at age 67 caught everyone in the business by surprise.
But what it has done is inspire some wonderful memories.
Like most turf writers Caryl loved a punt. But you’d never know she was on until the race was over. She kept her cards close to her chest until you’d hear an “effin bewdy” from her corner of the Randwick press box as they flashed past the post. And she had a formula — always back the female jockeys.
Her favourites were Linda Meech (especially when she rode for Gai Waterhouse), Claire Lindop (especially when she won the 2008 VRC Derby on Rebel Raider at $101), Kathy O’Hara and, more recently, Jamie Kah and Winona Costin.One wonders how much she collected when Michelle Payne won the 2015 Melbourne Cup on Prince Of Penzance at triple-figure odds. We’re told Caryl’s legacy as a pioneering woman in a press box dominated by men will live on. For a start, the Australian Turf Club will name a race in her honour next week. Those who ventured into the box at Royal Randwick and accidentally sat at her spot in the corner of the room never did it twice. It will now forever be known as “Caryl’s Corner”.
Lineker’s MJ moment
If you haven’t seen The Last Dance, it’s a fair bet you’re not that much into sport.
The 10-part documentary, shown here on Netflix, chronicles the rise and rise of Michael Jordan and his Chicago Bulls. It has captured everyone’s attention, including former England striker Gary Lineker who this week shared a memory of an encounter with His Airness, a man who loves a bet and a game of golf as much as he loved dominating rivals on the court.
Lineker recounted the tale:
“It was a Thursday night and I got a call from my agent. He said: ‘I’ve had Michael Jordan’s people on the phone and he wants to play at Sunningdale.’
“I was a member so he thought I could help. He said: ‘There’s three of them: Michael and two of his basketball friends. Saturday night I get call from my agent: ‘There’s now six of them, two more friends and Samuel L. Jackson.’
“I’ll need to find another member to play with the other three. I’ll call my friend, Queeny, I’m sure he’ll help.
“I turned up at 8.30am. Keith, the club pro said: ‘Your guests have arrived, they’re on the putting green.’ There they were, six of them, five giant basketball players and Samuel L. Jackson ambling around, putting and smoking cigars.
“The observing, quintessentially white elderly members were wide-eyed. We introduced ourselves and headed to the first tee. Now my mate Queeny liked a bet on the golf course and was a bit of a hustler. So we’re all stood there and Queeny says in his slightly posh voice … ‘So Michael would you like bet, a little wager?’ Michael says: ‘Sure, man.’
“Queeny says: ‘So how much would you like to play for?’ Michael puffs on his cigar, looks straight at him, smiles and says: ‘Whatever makes you feel uncomfortable, man.’ Mr Jordan had already won the day.”
So how much had they played for? “Minuscule by Michael Jordan standards, I imagine,” Lineker said.
“Hundred quid or thereabouts and it was one of his easier slam dunks. He was delightful company, by the way.”
mcloughlins@theaustralian.com.au
Twitter: @simmomac
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