Batman v Robin: Nick Kyrgios and Alex de Minaur on collision course

Nick Kyrgios is baulking his opponents with his boorish antics and he knows it

Alex de Minaur seems a particularly good young fella. Tries hard. Runs faster than a hungry rat. Katie Boulter’s parents must be thrilled to have him as a prospective son-in-law. You imagine he’s a gentlemanly boyfriend, turning up on time for their dates and always getting the bill. If and when the time comes for him to pop the question, he’s likely to be decent enough to first seek the old man’s permission.

If he wooed his English girlfriend — the world No.118 — with the zeal he uses to chase a tennis ball, she never stood a chance. He’s moved into the fourth round of The Championships by dismantling Liam Broady with a speed of foot only Rohan Browning can match in an Olympic heat (not semi-final).

British crowds have warmed to de Minaur since he blushed and stammered and gushed about Boulter after they both jagged wins in round two. The patrons keep tilting their heads and applauding him with an air of, oh, the dear boy. If he‘s ever dropped an F-bomb, he’s mopped it up and apologised profusely.

Can willpower win a major? We’ll find out over the course of de Minaur’s career. He plays primarily on heart, but he’s no Saturday arvo hacker. Flat and aggressive ground strokes skid like Warnie’s flipper.

Strangely enough, for someone who was the worst volleyer in history as a kid, grass is his best surface. He’s the quickest bloke on tour and only Rafael Nadal can match him for unwavering dedication to every shot of every rally of every point of every game of every set of every match of every tournament he’s ever played. The dear boy.

“Doesn’t have to be pretty, doesn’t have to be flawless,” he said.

What he doesn’t have is a big serve. That’s why he’s top 15 instead of top five. More often than not, all he’s really doing is getting the rally started like he’s having a hit of ping-pong in the garage.

He can flick down a few aces and unplayables but for all intents and purposes, he hasn’t benefited from a cheap service game since he was on the Futures tour. It means one hand is tied behind his back. His first serve isn’t as good as the second serve of a big bopper like Nick Kyrgios. The dear boy.

De Minaur needs twice the ticker and energy and inspiration and wheels and guts to be half the player Kyrgios is. They’re on a collision course for the quarter-finals. The All England Club will be forced to swallow its considerable pride with its Pimms and Earl Grey tea and give Kyrgios a match on Centre Court sooner or later.

There goes the stuffy old neighbourhood, of course, but he’s played there before and everyone except Nadal got out alive. You don’t necessarily expect Kyrgios to spit at the Royal Box or flip the bird instead of bowing to the Queen if she turns up, but then again he might. Perhaps she’ll get a giggle out of it.

Kyrgios’ matches sell out stadiums. His press conferences could do the same. He’s baulking his opponents with his non-stop on-court banter and carry-on and he knows it. He’s intentionally distracting them like a chatterbox at short leg for the Australian Test side. Playing any sport against someone who doesn’t shut up is a nightmare. A “bully,” said Tsitsipas, with a “very evil” side to him. Kyrgios has delivered a one-word response that would have done Steve Waugh proud: “Soft.”

Kyrgios versus de Minaur. Here’s hoping. Batman versus Robin. The snobs will roll their eyes while looking at what the cat’s dragged in. Perhaps they’re right to roll their eyes and suck their teeth. Perhaps he’ll give them the best show they’ve ever seen.

Switching the finals to Court 4 at Roehampton seems the only way to keep him at arm’s length. He’s probably the least perturbed of anyone by the snubbing from Centre Court so far.

If he wins the tournament, he should knock back the perk of membership, doing a Groucho Marx by declining to join any establishment that will actually have him in it.

Batman and Robin. Playing a Davis Cup mate may do Kyrgios’s head in even more than normal. He revels in the animosity against his so-called enemies. Against someone he likes, things get complicated.

He knows he treats his opponents with disrespect, that’s the whole idea, but he doesn’t want to regard de Minaur with too much disdain. It’s not a problem he faces too often.

De Minaur, the dear boy, is hard to hate, and he’ll pop a few questions to Kyrgios when it comes to patience and concentration. He won’t be distracted by the Kyrgios sideshow. He’s used to it. And he ain’t soft. The pop-gun serve is the problem.

Unexpected run of the tournament? Jason Kubler. Although he’s making so many unexpected runs at majors they’re no longer too unexpected. His five-set triumph against American Jack Sock was a gutsy old effort out in the boondocks. The longest match of the tournament. Spotlight isn’t something he has to worry about.

Quote of the tournament goes to Ajla Tomljanovic after scoring two wins in a day. Her first victory? A mighty one over ex-US Open champion Barbora Krejcikova. The second came when World No. 1 Iga Swiatek was beaten by Alice Cornet, who’s a decidedly more beatable opponent for the Australian.

Comically, and superstitiously, Tomljanovic’s father keeps checking them out of their hotel rooms in the expectation she’s about to lose.

“Today when I finished, he’s like, ‘Oh, I have to book again’,” she said. “I was, like, ‘You’re kidding me]. He wasn’t kidding. He managed to book the same hotel, so I have a room probably until Tuesday.

“But I don’t care. I said, even if someone is joining me in my room, I’m not leaving this hotel. He’s like, ‘Ajla, hungry rats swim the fastest’. I’m like, ‘I’m not a rat and I’m not hungry. I just want my house from the beginning till the end, or maybe you should just believe in me a little more’.”