Pressure being piled on the Waratahs to beat the Blues

Media in New Zealand are piling the pressure on the Waratahs to beat the Blues at Brookvale Oval.

One of the Blues’ many All Blacks stars, Rieko Ioane, who will take on the NSW Waratahs at Brookvale tonight. Picture: AFP

What a masterly job The New Zealand Herald — which equates its influence in rugby with the dominance of the All Blacks on the field — has done of previewing today’s clash of the Waratahs and the Blues at Brookvale Oval.

Rugby writer Gregor Paul has painted the Blues as rugby imbeciles, “a ragtag bunch of rookies and provincial journeymen with no idea — none, zip, zero — how to stay united in the face of sustained pressure”. He goes on: “The Blues are in such a state that it is likely they don’t always score when they are unopposed at training and once the Waratahs have located the ground and are safely out of the bus, that will be 80 per cent of the battle won right there.”

It’s reassuring he thinks the Tahs can accomplish those two tasks because, in every other respect, it seems he has the same low opinion of them as he has of Auckland’s Super Rugby team.

“Today the situation in Australian rugby is hopeful. If the Waratahs lose to the Blues, however, the situation will suddenly be hopeless. Properly, truly, pack up and go home hopeless.”

This is all very curious given that the Herald, just a matter of days ago, was constructing a scenario whereby the Blues, who have just two wins this season, might yet make the playoffs.

And for a team who are essentially just 23 players that coach Tana Umaga rounded up on his way to the airport, it seems he got lucky because five of them happen to be All Blacks — Jerome Kaino, Patrick Tuipulotu, Augustine Pulu, Rieko Ioane and James Parsons. Or are All Blacks just that thick on the ground in Auckland?

There was a time when every second New Zealander claimed to be an All Black triallist but the usual understanding was that actual All Black Test jerseys tended to be handed out very sparingly. You do remember the All Blacks, don’t you, Gregor? They’re the ones that go on the field and back up all your bullish words.

Anyway, you’re the Kiwi, but when one third of the side has pulled on the black jumper, it seems a little disingenuous to describe them as “rookies and provincial journeymen”.

But it seems you were disparaging the Auckland side only in order to boast all the louder if they happen to beat the Waratahs. Apparently belittling the Blues will add to the achievement if they break through for the win that a few days ago the Herald predicted might help catapult them to the playoffs.

“The Blues are a broken, bumbling mess and if the Waratahs don’t win, can’t win, then when will this 37-match losing streak for Australian teams against New Zealand opposition end?”

At the time you wrote, the streak stood at 36 but how prescient of you to factor in last night’s match between the Rebels and the Crusaders in Melbourne. Only a man who had seen the All Blacks wipe the floor with the Wallabies so many times could make such a call. But, wait, what was the score in the last Bledisloe Test? Oh, Wallabies 23. All Blacks 18.

You will have an answer for that. It was only a half-strength NZ side. Kieran Read, Sam Whitehead, Sam Cane, Dane Coles, Aaron Smith, Ryan Crotty, Sonny Bill Williams, Waisake Naholo, Damian McKenzie and Ioane would be delighted to have you dismiss them so frivolously.

But to return to today’s match, you’ve also managed to weigh down the Waratahs with the responsibility of maintaining four Australian teams in Super Rugby. Apparently if they lose, Australia’s “place in the Super Rugby universe should be seen as tenuous”.

Gosh, that sounds like (New Zealand Rugby boss) Steve Tew talking. You sure Michael Cheika isn’t right, after all … that The New Zealand Herald is just an instrument of All Black propaganda?

Anyway, there is nothing more certain than that you will get your comeuppance, though maybe not today. How can I be so certain? Because I used to write the same type of articles you just penned, only about the Australian cricket team.