John Eales pushed by family tragedy

A personal tragedy lay at the heart of John Eales’ career and he’s not surprised to see that repeated in other athletes.

Australian rugby captain John Eales. Picture: Ella Pellegrini

A personal tragedy lies at the heart of former Australian rugby captain John Eales’ decorated Wallabies career, and he’s not surprised to see that recurring in the careers of other great athletes.

In his column for The Deal, published in The Australian today, Eales reveals the way his sister Carmel’s death when he was 18 years old has inspired and motivated him to achieve throughout his life.

Carmel Eales was just 20 when she died of cancer, two years before her younger brother would begin his celebrated international rugby career. It taught Eales a hard lesson early: that life can be short and no day should be wasted.

“While there is nothing good about a 20-year-old dying of anything, something good came from that desperate time,’’ he writes.

“I remember her final moments as if they were yesterday and I always will. With her last breath a tear rolled down her cheek.

“For many years I thought about it before every major challenge I faced or big match I played. My sister had a love of life and rich potential which was never realised. Here was I with an opportunity to live and to achieve. I owed it to her. I owed it to myself. Her death, while a waste, was not wasted.’’

The Eales family, including John, centre back, and sister Carmel, second from right

And Eales is not alone in that experience. A decade ago Olympic champion Cathy Freeman reflected on the impact of the death of her sister Anne-Marie just days after she won her first international gold medal, at the 1990 Commonwealth Games.

Anne-Marie was born with cerebral palsy and died of an asthma attack. At her funeral Freeman vowed she would run every race for the sister who could not. “You know how people say someone is like the wind beneath their wings?’’ Freeman said years later.

“Well, she’s like a tornado. She gave me so much when she was alive and she’s giving me so much more than I ever could have imagined, even though she’s no longer in this world.’’

And fellow Olympic gold medallist Debbie Flintoff-King won in Seoul in 1988 just weeks after the death of her sister Noeline, later saying she had run the race for her sister.

Eales said his sister’s death gave him a sense of purpose as a young man.

“It wasn’t the sole motivation for me but it was definitely something I thought about a lot,’’ he said. “It is one of those things where there was someone who had so much potential and didn’t get the chance to fulfil it, and here I was getting all these opportunities and with that came a sense of responsibility to make the best of them.’’

“We all get opportunities in life but some people have them taken from them far too early and I was very conscious of that.’’

He said the memory of his sister came often to him as he prepared to play big games.

“It could have been while we were singing the anthem before a game, or in the change rooms or the night before a game. It was mainly early in my career.’’

Eales believes the emotions he experienced sharpened his focus and lifted his performance. It was the gift that endured long after his sister’s life ended.

Read John Eales’ column in The Deal