Robert Craddock tells the stories of his top 10 characters in Australian Cricket
Humour, empathy, irreverence, a zest for life – you’ll find it all among Australia’s greatest ever cricket characters. Robert Craddock names his top 10.
Humour, empathy, irreverence, and a zest for life … it’s all there in my top 10 Australian cricket characters.
A drum roll please for, in no particular order except for the top dog …
KEITH MILLER
The first man selected and, in my view, the greatest cricketing character of all.
These days we label sportsmen characters if they post a funny Instagram photo.
Debonair Mosquito pilot Miller showed what flair is all about when he fearlessly broke formation with his squadron and flew over Bonn in the middle of a war against Germany because he wanted to see where Beethoven was born.
Princess Margaret idolised and serenaded him. With his floppy fringe and confident demeanour he was a striking figure and still the allrounder all other Australian allrounders are measured by 66 years after he played his last Test.
On Ashes tour he would be seen mixing with royalty one night then visiting the humble Putney home of a wartime bus-driver to have mince on toast the next.
He feared no-one or nothing. Once in Brisbane Miller took serious offence when Don Bradman asked him to bowl bouncers on a spicy deck to his old war-time buddy Bill Edrich in an Ashes Test.
“Don’t start me Don,’’ Miller said. “This bloke flew bombers 100 feet off the ground over Germany and somehow survived. I’ve got some idea of what he went through. You spent five minutes in the war and would have none.’’
VOTE FOR YOUR FAVOURITE FROM OUR LIST OF 100 AUSSIE GREATS
DAVID HOOKES
The late, great Hookesey would have been a sensation in today’s social media age because he loved tossing out grenades then copping the rowdy feedback.
Once asked whether he would like to be a cricket administrator, he replied “no because I don’t own a blazer and I don’t have dandruff.’’
He coined the famous phrase “when they give you a baggy blue cap for NSW they might as well give you a baggy green to save having two presentations.’’
When he toured Australia as a Sheffield Shield captain he often had prepared lines that wound up the locals like “I love the way Queenslanders worship the Big Pineapple as if it’s the Eiffel Tower – mate, seriously, it’s a pineapple.’’
He caused a furore in Tasmania when he said he was “looking forward to playing in front of 10,000 people – 20,000 heads’’ but smiled at locals wearing shirts saying “two heads are better than half a brain Hookes, you ----wit.’’
STEVE AND MARK WAUGH
The twins were exceptional players and men of many fascinating contrasts.
Back in the day, photography-nerd Steve took thousands of snaps on tour. Mark didn’t bother taking a camera.
Mark loved punting. Steve didn’t bet. Steve loved sight-seeing where Mark would say “seen one castle, seen ‘em all.’’
The twins had an unofficial rule where they would not touch each other in photos because both found it a tad cringe-worthy.
Steve would playfully quip to snappers “sorry boys, you know the rules … no touchies’’ though News Corp’s Ray Titus did manage one set-up shot of the two embracing after Australia famously beat the West Indies to win the Frank Worrell Trophy in 1995.
The twins got along fine but on tour, by choice, would never room together.
When quizzed about it Steve said “so we spent nine months in the same womb and 16 years in the same room and you want us to spend more time together?’’
KERRY O’KEEFFE
Go to any school room and you’ll see the class comedian in one corner and studious library-lover in the other. They are almost never the same person.
But in former Test leg-spinner O’Keeffe these rare qualities are amalgamated to give him a unique and compelling presence on the commentary scene for Fox Cricket.
O’Keeffe’s brilliant insights start with his forensic technical analysis and stretch to all quirky corners of the cricket psyche.
“Cricketers are funny,’’ he once said. “Brian Lara can score 400 and his team-mates will say nothing more than “played’’ when he returns to the rooms. If a doctor miraculously found a cure for cancer and went to the room they’d say “discovered’’ and that would be all he’d get.’’
O’Keeffe once said of an ageing cricket scribe “I’m not saying he’s past it but it worries me to locate his best work you have to go to Brisbane, buy one of those old timber houses and find his match reports on the old yellow newspapers under the vinyl on the floor.’’
Fabulous sledge … I just wish he was talking about someone else.
JASON GILLESPIE
Very unassuming and occasionally enjoyed poking fun at himself.
During the era when the Jaws movies were frequently replayed on television I once had to ask him to tell me the full (lengthy) list of his injuries in cricket for use in a newspaper graphic.
He looked at my tiny note pad then paraphrased the iconic Jaws line “you’re gonna need a bigger book.’’
Has a life-long love a trivia. If you randomly asked him to tell you something you didn’t know he would say things like “do you know all polar bears are left-handed and scientists don’t know why?’’
His lack of entitlement was evident when he happily started his coaching career in a remote town in Zimbabwe named after a tree frog where the locals were struggling to the point Gillespie’s his wife Anna occasionally had to bring sandwiches for the players at lunch.
Came up with one of the great lines in self-accountability during a review of Australia’s 2005 Ashes loss when he told the interviewer: “I’m not blaming anyone. My problem was me. I bowled crap.’’
VOTE FOR YOUR FAVOURITE FROM OUR LIST OF 100 AUSSIE GREATS
SHANE WARNE
Even in death he is influencing people given that his shock passing this year has prompted a rush of thousands of Australians to get their hearts checked.
Was an unusual combination of working class boy and superstar, he was fearless and confident in his opinion yet sensitive and surprisingly vulnerable at others.
Cricket has never had a more potent headline maker with his diet, love life, real estate purchases, critiques of modern players, big name friendships all big news.
He was so unique that the leg-spin scene has gone back to being the stagnant world it was before he arrived.
MERV HUGHES
Started his cricket in Footscray third grade and had a goal to go all the way up to Test cricket and slide down to finish where he started. Amazingly, he did it.
When Australia was struggling in an era of immense turbulence in the mid-1980s it needed someone to lighten the mood and Merv was just the man.
Always good fun and still in high demand as a guest speaker, Merv could conjure a quirky line like the day on a South Africa tour when he asked a local “I’m just checking … in Orange Free State are oranges free or is there none of them?’’
Used to carry a photo of his hero, Western Bulldogs star Chris Grant, in his wallet.
His sense of loyalty was evident in the way he once was far more offended by journalists criticising his great mate Tony Dodemaide than for anything Merv was copping himself.
BILL LAWRY
Fascinating character who was renowned as an extremely courageous yet at times dour batsman remains, at age 85, sparkling off field company.
In past decades at guest speaking functions he would introduce himself by quipping “when I played I was Richie Benaud’s vice-captain when he was widely considered the best captain in the world.
“Now we are at Channel Nine he’s the world’s best commentator and I’m widely considered the second best commentator in the world.’’
Never one to take himself too seriously, he once said “where do you think you’re going?’’ to a cameraman moving to get a side on shot of Bill’s iconic nose at a function.
His much-mimicked commentary made him a cult hero among players with Pakistan great Wasim Akram a self-confessed Bill “tragic.’’
Recently I asked him to explain his love of pigeon racing and he replied, in a very Bill sort of way: “Just the fact they can fly their hearts out for 400 miles a day weighing only a pound – that’s inspirational.’’
JEFF THOMSON
Cricket’s wild colonial boy and fastest ever bowler was a remarkably elastic physical specimen who proved it recently when he put his right foot behind his ear on Fox Cricket.
Has been a fearless and colourful quote dropper all his career from his first interview with Sydney journalist Phil Wilkins when he said “I enjoy hitting batsmen more than I do getting them out. I enjoy seeing blood on the pitch. And I train on whisky.’’
Once when informed his old mate Dennis Lillee was leaving an ideal life in Perth to make a Sheffield Shield comeback with Tasmania, Thomson said “fair dinkum …talk about going from Malibu Beach to Alcatraz.’’
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