Owen Wright takes second but Teahupo’o fails to roar

The Teahupo’o we’ve seen in the last week has been a playground. A damn pretty one, but not the test of courage it’s meant to be.

Australia’s Owen Wright on his to second place in the Tahiti Pro Teahupo'o Picture: Kelly Cestari/WSL

Bah. This wasn’t real Teahupo’o. The real Teahupo’o can make a man fear for his life. This was small Teahupo’o. Unthreatening Teahupo’o. The beast was yawning, which means the latest World Surf League event has been a fizzer … notwithstanding the appearance of Australia’s Owen Wright in the final.

Teahupo’o translates to End Of The Road or Crushed Skull, depending on which of the locals you ask. Either way, she might kill ya. But that’s only when U-shaped waves are double-overhead and slamming onto a razor-sharp reef that has about one centimetre of water on it. The Teahupo’o we’ve seen in the last week has been a playground. A damn pretty one, but not the test of courage it’s meant to be. Brazil’s Gabriel Medina beat Wright by 13.5 points to 12.07 in the final before the contest drew to a merciful end. Some surfing writers didn’t bother watching the final day until the semi-finals. Four-footers ain’t what this place is about. Bah.

Still, you get the same rankings points for finishing second whether it’s tiny or terrifying. Wright’s appearance in the final moves him to sixth on the world rankings. Julian Wilson is third and Wade Carmichael is fifth. Brazilians Filipe Toledo and Medina hold down the top two spots.

“It’s a sting, but it’s just nice to be back in the final,” Wright said yesterday. “Right now, it’s a hard loss to take a second, but it’s been an incredible week. It all came down to the last two waves. I made the wrong decision and I’m already feeling that deep burn and drive. I’m stoked for Gabby. It’s a well-deserved win for him after it got taken off him by Julian just last year.”

The next event will be the historic Surf Ranch Pro in the Kelly Slater-designed wave pool at Lemoore, California, from September 6. It’ll be the first WSL-level event staged in artificial waves. Traditionalists and soul surfers think it’s bah. Australia’s women’s world No 1 Stephanie Gilmore is among those who have come to love it. We know a thing or two before we even get there. The exact nature of the waves, for starters. Left and right-hand barrels and their smooth, open faces. We know the precise time of day when competition will start. Mother Nature with all her fickle moods is out of the equation. Nothing life-threatening at the Surf Ranch, either — but a bit of fun, nonetheless.