Usain Bolt for Central Coast Mariners? Great story, but ludicrous

The suggestion that Usain Bolt could simply walk into the Central Coast Mariners’ team is an insult to the entire competition.

Usain Bolt trains for a charity match in England. Photo: Getty Images

Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to announce that after a 40-year career in journalism, I have decided to switch to bricklaying.

My agent is currently in talks with a couple of tradies, with a view to getting me on the tools within weeks and I am looking forward to this exciting change of direction.

I haven’t had that much experience as a bricklayer, of course — although I have contributed to the construction of a couple of retaining walls. Consequently, I won’t be bothering about an apprenticeship. I’m going in at the top of the building trade. The only issue is whether they can afford my salary.

It’s something I have in common with eight-time Olympic gold medallist Usain Bolt — the only thing standing in the way of his switch from sprinting to playing in the A-League with Central Coast Mariners is whether the FFA can come up with $900,000 to supplement his salary.

It’s a great story, a marketing coup for soccer in Australia — Central Coast Stadium will be packed every time he runs out. But, sadly, it is as ludicrous as me contemplating a career as a bricklayer.

Bolt is powerful and athletic with fast twitch muscle fibres and a big set of lungs, but he has none of the skills — developed over years of training and coaching — required to be a professional footballer.

Elite athletes are never satisfied. Always in search of the next challenge, the next goal, the next achievement. It’s what makes them great and it’s also what often makes them contemplate ridiculous things such as switching to completely different sports.

The examples are endless and the results are almost always disappointing. Athletic ability and skills rarely translate between sports.

Anthony Mundine managed it, switching from rugby league to boxing and maintaining a long and successful career. Jana Pittman swapped running spikes for a seat in a bobsleigh and managed 14th place in an Olympic final.

Usain Bolt (left) trains with German Bundesliga club Borussia Dortmund in March. Photo: AFP

But for every one of these examples, there are a bunch of failures. NRL players Karmichael Hunt and Israel Folau both had a crack at playing AFL. Flops.

Jarryd Hayne also left behind a career in the NRL to play American football with the San Francisco 49ers. Flop.

Australian 400m runner Darren Clark went the other way in 1991, signing on to play rugby league with the Balmain Tigers. Flop.

And don’t forget NRL legend Andrew Johns’s ill-fated switch to cricket — two matches with the NSW T20 side in 2006. Flop.

The best-known international example is Michael Jordan. Not content with being arguably the best basketballer of all time, he switched to baseball with the Chicago White Sox. Flop.

Bolt played a bit of soccer at home in Jamaica as a kid and has always loved the game. Although he apparently also loves cricket. Maybe that will be next.

He has trialled with a couple of European clubs and played in a charity match last month in London, captaining a Soccer Aid World XI team that included singer Robbie Williams and cricketer Kevin Pietersen.

He had a goal disallowed for off-side and managed to hit the crossbar once — that’s about as good as it got.

The A-League still has a way to go but it is a strong professional competition, featuring skilled, experienced players.

The suggestion that someone such as Bolt, simply because of his profile, could walk into an A-League team is an insult to the competition.

If the FFA allows this to happen they will be holding the A-League up as a joke competition.