Steve Smith is a broken man, and still one to be proud of

Steve Smith, almost crippled by shame, has reminded us why we were right to be so proud of him in the first place.

Steve Smith breaks down during his press conference in Sydney. Picture: Jonathan Ng

We were so proud of Steven Devereux Smith. For some time we thought we were wrong. We were angry and betrayed and stunned. Tonight, as that devastated, broken, young man faced the people he let down there was some comfort in knowing we were right to be proud in the first place.

Smith is almost crippled by shame. He left South Africa in tears, his team mates weeping as he left the hotel. He arrived in Sydney and things just seemed to get so very much worse.

We cherish cricket in this country. We hold our cricketers to a higher standard than everybody else because it is sport that gives us so much pride and hope. We want more from cricketers than from elected leaders or our holy men.

Tonight Steve Smith met those standards. He sobbed uncontrollably as he detailed his regret. He went on manfully, ashamed of his actions but not ashamed to show the world how abject he feels.

No politician would ever submit themselves to such raw examination or regret. Captains have cried publicly before but there was something about this.

His father, a man who hand-reared him on cricket balls, stood by his side, his hand on his son’s heaving shoulders.

Asked to send a message to the children who idolised him, he told them of his love for the game and begged them to think of the consequences any actions they take will have on their parents.

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A broken man broke some more as he said those words.

“I know I’ll regret this for the rest of my life,” he said. “I’m absolutely gutted and I hope in time I can win back respect and forgiveness.”

He made no excuses. He sought no mitigation. He flailed himself and when it appeared he could not go on he went on some more.

Nobody died, but Smith feels as if he has killed something.

Cricket was more than a game to Smith, this is more than a professional disaster. “Cricket’s been my life,” he said. “I’m sorry and I’m absolutely devastated.”

Smith didn’t have to face his accusers, but he went out of his way to do so. His fiance is in America and it is understood he will fly to join her soon. David Warner did not appear when he arrived, but apologised via a statement and promised to speak sometime later. His words sounded a warning of more to come. Young Cameron Bancroft spoke too.

“It is something I am very ashamed of and so sorry for,” he said. “I feel I have let everyone down in Australia and I am not proud of that and I know it is going to take time to heal and to earn that respect back from everybody.”

Smith refused to implicate others.

“I want to make clear that as captain of the Australian cricket team that I take full responsibility,” he said. “I made a serious error of judgment and I now understand the consequences.

“It was a failure of leadership, of my leadership.

“I’ll do everything I can to make up for my mistake and the damage it has caused.

“If any good can come of this, if there can be a lesson to others, then I hope I can be a force for change.

“I have been so privileged and honoured to represent my country and captain the Australian cricket team. Cricket is the greatest game in the world. It has been my life and I hope it can be again.”

There have been real concerns for Smith this week. He has been unable to sleep, at times he has been shook with emotion. He has sought counsel and is gripping to a mantra to get himself through.

“Good people make mistakes and I have made a big mistake by allowing this to happen,” he said. “It was a huge error of judgment on my behalf an I am deeply sorry.”

Smith is a good person with the capacity for greatness. He hinted that with a bat in his hand, he more than indicated it tonight. His path back is long and rocky and there will be a lot of dark times.

The thing he worked his whole life for has been snatched away by a moment of madness.

He will be a better man for this. He already was better than most.