It has been 10 days since the sudden death of former Queensland Origin star and coach Paul Green, triggering shock, disbelief, devastation, countless broken hearts and a slew of questions that will never be answered.

At 82, Patricia, the mother of the rugby league legend, is the most broken hearted of all, coming to terms with a tragedy she never saw coming, still simply cannot comprehend, and will never truly understand.

In a heart-wrenching interview with The Sunday Mail, the matriarch of the Green family opens up about her fondest memories of Paul, the pain of an unexpected loss and the mother’s love for a son who departed too soon.

“We never expected to bury our baby boy,” says Patricia, speaking for the first time about Green’s tragic death at age 49, a month shy of his 50th birthday.

“His father Ned is just broken-hearted. We will survive somehow, but I will never understand it.

“I am just stunned, devastated, broken hearted. I hope the feeling goes one day. We have cried ourselves out. There are no tears left. We are a tough old generation, I guess, and somehow we have to move on.

“But our lives will never be the same.”

Thursdays will never be the same for Patricia and husband Ned, who turns 94 in October and is battling emphysema.

They have been married 61 years and for decades, they had a weekly ritual. Every Thursday morning, the devoted couple of five children would go grocery shopping before returning to their Brisbane bayside home.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Last Thursday week, Patricia and Ned returned home. They were greeted at the front door by their two daughters, and Paul’s older sisters, Lisa and Peta.

“My husband Ned and I always do our shopping on a Thursday morning. I didn’t take my mobile phone with me, so we came home from shopping and my two daughters were at our home,” Patricia said.

“We asked if everything was OK, but they wouldn’t say what was going on until we came inside.

“Then they told me what had happened with Paul and I said, ‘What are you talking about?’

“How do you tactfully tell someone of a tragedy like this?

“We went over to Amanda’s house straight away to see her.”

The events of Thursday, August 11, remain surreal for Patricia and the Green family.

After dropping Jed and Emerson at school, Green’s wife headed to the gym for a pilates session.

Amanda returned home to find her husband unconscious, prompting an urgent 000 call. Paramedics were unable to revive Green, who had taken his life.

Reflecting on the tragedy, Patricia speaks with a clarity and intellect that were hallmark traits of the youngest of her five children, who played the violin and had a pilot’s licence.

But, above all, he had an enduring passion for rugby league.

THE PAUL WE KNEW

On the verge of his 50th birthday, Green, Patricia says, seemingly had it all.

Professionally, he had excelled, playing for Queensland and Australia before winning back-to-back premierships at Wynnum Manly, the club his father Ned first represented in 1959.

‘Greeny’ made history as the first coach to deliver an NRL premiership to the North Queensland Cowboys in 2015.

Last year, he became just the 12th man to coach the Queensland Origin side.

In family life, Green was a devoted husband to Amanda and doting dad to Jed, 10, and Emerson, 13.

A fishing enthusiast, Green had just purchased a new boat with a mate worth an estimated $600,000 and delivery of the vessel was due in the coming weeks.

Five days before his death, Green was in talks with NRL super coach Wayne Bennett about joining him as an assistant at the Dolphins. The pair were so close to a deal they had discussed salary to relaunch Green’s career in coaching after he quit the Queensland Origin side last year.

Green had everything to live for. The questions are many. The answers are few.

“I was absolutely stunned,” Patricia says.

“I said to Rick (Green’s oldest brother), do you know what … in 50 years we will never know why. We will never have answers.

“I couldn’t process it. It was simply not believable.

“Paul was a man of faith. He wasn’t loud about it, but I knew he had faith and I couldn’t believe he would do it (take his life).

“We are just devastated. Our lives will never be the same without him. We have five children and they are very lovely and supportive for us and Paul was the baby of the family.

“He was such a delight in his life when he was young. All the things he did, he always made sure his family was never forgotten.

“He was full of life.”

HIDDEN PAIN

Right until the end, Patricia detected no signs that her youngest son was battling depression or any mental demons.

She was one of the last people to have contact with Green. Just 24 hours before his death, Green’s son, Jed, celebrated his 10th birthday. The champion Cowboys coach took Jed and his mates for a day out before returning to his Wynnum home to light Jed’s birthday cake.

“We had only seen Paul at his place the night before (he passed away),” Patricia says.

“It was Jed’s birthday party. Paul had taken Jed and his mates down to the Gold Coast to one of the theme parks and when they came home, we came over for pizza and cake.

“We sang happy birthday for Jed. We sat down and laughed and talked and then we went home.

“I had just left Paul a few hours before it happened. I kissed him and said goodbye, ‘I love you Paul, catch ya later’. Then off we went home.

“That’s why this is so stunning.

“I am going through a wave of emotions. They hit me throughout the day.

“Am I angry? I could never be angry with Paul. We loved him too much. He could never do anything to make us angry, but I am dumbfounded.

“Jed just couldn’t fathom it. He just couldn’t understand what had happened. The kids are young and hopefully one day they accept it and keep their dad in their hearts.”

Asked if she ever saw signs Green was doing it tough emotionally, Patricia says: “No, I never thought Paul was struggling in that way. He has always worked through his problems and his difficulties.

“There was nothing untoward that day (at Jed’s birthday party). Paul was the same Paul he has always been.

“He has brothers and sisters that love him. He has his wife and family, he had his beautiful kids. He had everything going for him.

“We couldn’t fathom why he would do it. We still can’t.

“It is against his beliefs. It is so hard to accept.”

BROTHER’S LAST CONVERSATION

Rick Green recalls sending his brother a text at 5.30pm on the night of Jed’s birthday.

He was set to return to Australia from a skiing holiday in New Zealand and reached out to catch up with his younger sibling.

“I spoke to Paul the night before (his death),” Rick recalls.

“I sent him a text saying, ‘I’m back Friday, can I pop down and see you?’.

I had a present for someone to give Paul.

“I was having a break skiing in New Zealand and my sister got in contact with me the next morning (about Paul’s passing).

“It was just shock. I couldn’t believe it, it wasn’t the sort of thing I could have ever contemplated for him.

“It (the shock of Green’s death) certainly comes in waves and it is certainly overwhelming when it comes over you, that sense of loss and grief.

“I’m not particularly sure it will go away for a long period of time.

“I find mornings the hardest, that’s when my thoughts turned to him and the times we shared together.

“There are so many memories. All of our family gatherings were awesome, but when he came to Wynnum Manly (as head coach) and I was the chairman, he put his stamp on the club.

“He won back-to-back premierships and we had an awesome three years there working together.”

THE FEROCIOUS COMPETITOR NRL FANS KNEW

As a coach and player, Green was a ferocious competitor.

Perhaps it was his diminutive frame that lit the fire within for Green to defend his patch and never surrender.

Often intense, sometimes abrasive, Green had some powder keg moments in his coaching career. Last year, Green spoke to The Sunday Mail following his departure from the Cowboys and it was suggested his relentless drive had eventually taxed players after seven years at the club.

“Here’s a story,” Green replied. “In the pre-season, I put out some cones and the players were asked to do specific drills.

“Some of the players were not going all the way to the cones, so I pulled them up and made them do it again until it was done properly.

“If you take shortcuts in training, you take shortcuts in games.

“As a head coach, you can’t stand for that. That’s my job.”

The riposte cut to the core of Green’s DNA. He was hungry. Tenacious. A man of detail; a chaser of excellence.

“Paul always set high standards,” Rick Green says.

“I hesitate with the word perfectionist because he understood the things he could control and things he couldn’t. He didn’t expect perfection from others, but where you could control, he expected you to control it in the right way and that’s what made him a successful coach.

“Yes, he was uncompromising. He was courageous in the way he dealt with people. He wasn’t afraid to challenge perspectives or people’s thoughts, and that required a lot of self-belief and a lot of confidence.

“It’s often misinterpreted as arrogance, but it certainly wasn’t that, it came from a really good spot with ‘Greeny’. He really cared about the people around him and the people that he challenged, whether it was a player, another coach, whatever, it came from a good spot.

“Paul was very much a high achiever. He was always bright, he enjoyed different things, he played the violin, he always did his best at everything he turned his hand to.”

Even when it came to singing, Green strived to hit the right notes.

THE COMBUSTIBLE COACH

Music was his one escape, his form of relaxation. On game days as Cowboys coach, he would listen to Coldplay and fly around Townsville in a helicopter for solitude.

For all his combustible moments as coach, singing was his pressure valve.

“Greeny has this obsession with karaoke,” says former Cowboys football boss Peter Parr, who was part of the committee that hired Green to the North Queensland job in 2013.

“He actually fancied himself highly as a singer.

“His favourite karaoke song was Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice.

“One night in Canberra, we had a great win over Canberra on a Saturday afternoon and the first thing he did was look up a karaoke place.

“He loved singing Ice Ice Baby, but this one night he sung Johnny B Goode.

“He put his name on the list at 7pm and it took hours before his turn came up. The players were saying, ‘Greeny let’s get out of here’, but he wouldn’t let anyone leave until he got his fix of karaoke.

“He was a terrible singer, but music was always his way of having a good time.

“We last spoke two weeks ago and we had the same chats we always had. At the Cowboys, we spoke every day for seven years.

“I wish we got a chance to say goodbye but clearly he was hurting.

“It still doesn’t seem real.”

Ever and always, Green was a thinker. Pushing the limits. Ahead of the game. A pioneer.

Bennett, who was Green’s coaching rival in the 2015 Broncos-Cowboys NRL grand final, vividly remembers him being the brains behind a tactic that is used today by every NRL team.

“I only spoke to Paul recently and I said to him … ‘The kicks that go up to the wingers now in the NRL, that was your idea Paul’,” Bennett said.

“He was the instigator of it, he worked out the benefits of putting the ball in the air which gave the attackers time to contest for the ball.

“Everyone in the NRL does it today, but Paul was the architect of that.

“He was a smart bloke. He had an interest in a lot of other things in life outside of rugby league.

“What can never be taken away is Paul bringing a premiership to the Cowboys, their first one.”

A MOTHER’S TREASURED MEMORIES

As she rises each day, preparing for a funeral she never anticipated on Tuesday week, Patricia clings to those treasured memories of her son.

She has a plethora of albums bursting with newspaper clippings, from his days as a schoolboy star, to his impromptu modelling as one of rugby league’s sexiest men, to his Rothmans Medal win and the tear-filled hug with a bloodied Johnathan Thurston as the Cowboys celebrated their historic title triumph.

As time passes, they will become images all the more iconic, snapshots of sepia, everlasting tributes to the Paul Green legacy.

“Maybe when the funeral is over, we will be able to accept it, I don’t know,” she says.

“It’s hard to function right now.

“We are managing the best way we can. We really appreciate the condolences, we have had so much support, people really have been wonderful. I haven’t cooked since Paul passed away, I’ve had people bringing meals and doing so much for Ned and myself.

“I have all his clippings in scrapbooks. One of his mates once said Paul was a media darling because he was always in the paper. I have albums upon albums of press clippings.

“He said he loved me once and that meant so much because Paul wasn’t one for emotions. He was going on a football tour as a kid and I took a few boys to the airport. I went over to kiss Paul and he said, ‘Geez mum, not here, so I said OK son, have a good trip’.

“As a mother, you never forget the joy of seeing your kids have their own children. I was so proud of the days Jed and Emerson were born. He was a high achiever at school.

“I want to remember Paul as a good man, my baby boy who was a doer. He never sat around talking about going to do something, he got up and did it.

“Paul was incredibly determined. Whatever he set his mind to, he would conquer it.

“I know Paul could be very intense. Whatever he did, he went at it full bore and I loved him for it.

“The world will be a lesser place without him.”