Craig Bellamy winning NRL’s game of whispers

In the NRL, no one wants to be the benchmark club. One thing we know, Kenny Edwards ensures it’s not Parramatta.

Parramatta’s Kenny Edwards will appear in court today

An impatient Kenny Edwards was sitting with his Parramatta teammates. They were yawning. Fidgeting. Yapping. Something was ever-so-slightly out of whack with the attitude of these blokes.

They’d been the pre-season benchmark. They were representing their club at a formal occasion but with coach Brad Arthur back in his demountable office at Old Salesyard Reserve, they were carrying on like ratbag students when the headmaster was out of sight.

Challenging times for benchmarks. In the NRL, no one wants to be one. Melbourne Storm coach Craig Bellamy was giving St George Illawarra an unnecessary compliment when he grinned at Kogarah Oval a fortnight ago, “They’re the benchmark.”

It was a crock, of course. Benchmarks are revealed in September and not a second sooner. Dragons coach Paul McGregor displayed droll comedic timing when he responded to Sunday’s loss to South Sydney by saying, “Oh, they’re the benchmark.”

The beauty of the verbal pay-it-forward is that for consistency, meticulousness, grind and the hard-nosed knack of week-to-week, season-long, grand final-day success, the benchmark in rugby league is the same as it’s ever been. The Storm. They’ve been inconsistent; they’ve been beaten a few times; they’ve got their challenges without Cooper Cronk but they’re still the team to beat come the playoffs. Among their trademarks? The attention to detail.

Edwards and the Eels displayed distinctly un-Storm-like behaviour before round one. It stuck in the memory for being extraordinarily immature in full public view. They were being pegged as grand finalists before a ball had been kicked. They appeared to believe the hype. They were a piss-taking, swearing disorganised rabble in certain sections. Too cool for school.

Edwards jumped to his feet and walked to one of his teammates. It was a fringe player. I did not recognise him. Edwards distracted him. Look over there! He grabbed his shorts. He pulled them down around the bloke’s ankles and ripped them clean off. He waved the shorts above his head like he was picking on someone in a playground and then ran off with them. Kinda funny, of course. But kinda stupid, given the time and place.

On cue, the victim was up for his interview. He stood there in his underpants and told the club’s female media representative, “I can’t do it. Kenny’s got my shorts.”

Can you imagine this happening at the Storm? Your own office? Any responsible workplace? The next few minutes of conversation were ridiculous. Go and get your shorts off Kenny. I can’t get my shorts off Kenny. He won’t give them to me. Kenny, give the shorts back. Kenny said no. Oh, how he laughed. The media representative was frustrated and embarrassed. She was just trying to do her job.

Benchmarks, eh? They’re not the flavours of the week. They’re the long-term powerhouses. They’re the sides and individuals who are the last men standing.

Ferrari and Red Bull have had their moments in Formula One but we know Mercedes-Benz is the season-long benchmark.

Rafael Nadal has lost at the Madrid Open but that doesn’t make Dominic Thiem the new claycourt benchmark.

The Boston Celtics have beaten the Cleveland Cavaliers in game one of the NBA playoffs but until LeBron James and the Cavs are no longer in the competition, they’re still the Eastern Conference benchmark.

If Souths lose to North Queensland this week, coach ­Anthony Seibold should nominate the Cowboys as the new benchmark. It’ll be accepted as the wonderful joke it is. Bellamy knew the truth when he started this game of whispers. The benchmark club is still his own.

Wayne Bennett used to tell his players to make their beds in the mornings. He wasn’t threatening to deny them breakfast if they refused. He was telling them that small habits led to the big ones.

That being disciplined with the minor things made it easier to be disciplined with the larger things. Make your bed in the morning. Pick up a piece of litter. Arrive on time for all appointments. Keep your promises. Play the ball correctly. They were all connected.

The Eels were never the benchmark. They were pulling their own pants down before the opening whistle. Now they’re last on the ladder.

Edwards will appear in Fairfield Local Court today after allegedly fleeing police and abandoning a vehicle after being pulled over for a random roadside check. He failed to tell Parramatta officials for more than a month. He’s previously been banned from an entire season for providing a urine sample for Kaysa Pritchard. He was suspended for seven weeks and fined $60,000 last year after a domestic incident with his partner. From the dak attack to allegedly disobeying the law, none of it has been a joke.