Cooper Cronk’s Napoleonic stand

Cooper Cronk’s attempt to recover from a six-week shoulder injury in five days may be best left to God rather than science.

Roosters halfback Cooper Cronk with his arm in a sling yesterday. Picture: Brett Costello

Cooper Cronk positions his arm in the manner of Napoleon Bonaparte posing for a 19th century portrait, rates himself a long shot for the grand final, says he will double whatever workload is prescribed by the Sydney Roosters’ medicos, reckons 30 per cent fitness will be enough to tackle his old mates at the Melbourne Storm, scratches his head about Billy Slater’s unfathomable predicament and then places all the midweek drama in the hands of the three great intangibles in life: God, science and the NRL judiciary.

You can imagine Cronk as a military leader. You’re not so sure Napoleon could’ve stayed on the field against Souths. While Slater’s tenuous fate rests with the judiciary tonight, Cronk’s attempt to recover from a six-week shoulder injury in the next five days may be best left to God rather than science.

The little general needs some sort of miracle of healing.

First things first, however, and Slater faces the galling prospect of missing the grand final and being thrown into premature retirement if he’s found guilty of a shoulder charge at the judiciary tonight.

“There’s two sides of that for me,” Cronk says. “Well, there’s three sides. One, I’m a really good mate. Two, I’m in the opposition this week. And three, there’s obviously respect to the judiciary. I’ve got a different answer for all three of them and I’m not going to say that publicly, but you can work out which one is which.”

Not really. He’s talking in riddles again. Flapping his gums at a million miles an hour. Maybe the painkillers have kicked in? When a Roosters official suggests an end to the interview he says no, no, keep going! The impression is that part of Cronk’s rather quirky yet fiercely goal-oriented mindset allows him to enjoy the challenge of a near-impossible recovery. He has a mission. He has a deadline. If he fails, it won’t be for a lack of trying.

“At some stage, God or science will say no,” Cronk says. “It (the shoulder) is all right. Still attached. Woke up this morning and it’s still there, so that’s a good thing. I can move it. The best thing is to just immobilise it. Get some recovery done. Get some strength work done. The whole idea of the sling is to keep it in place so it’s protected. I’ll do everything I possibly can.”

Reckon you’ll play? “Look, I’m a long shot. That’s not lying. The honest thing is — I’m not going to go into the details of the injury. With all due respect, you’re on a need-to-know basis and at the moment, you don’t need to know. The whole idea is that it’s one hell of a game, I’ve got seven days. If I’m there with my boots and this Roosters jersey on, everyone (from the Storm) can run at me because there’s nowhere to hide. “

How painful was it against Souths? “Every rugby league player feels pain, especially when you’ve got a couple of Burgess boys running at you. And Greg Inglis running at you. You feel pain but you just get on and do it. Considering the situation of the game, we needed players to stay in their positions to keep our defensive patterns going. Pain is what it is. You make it out to be whatever you want it to be. I’ll deal with it. You can get through the pain in a game because of the adrenaline. In my position, it’s obviously the function as well. Today it’s not about throwing my arm out the sling to tackle or throw passes or kick the footy. I need to let it rest. Let it recover. Get everything done and in a few days time, we’ll see where we’re at. The pain, I’m not superhuman or anything like that. But the pain is something I can deal with.”

What odds? “Am I one hundred per cent going to be playing? No. am I zero chance of playing? No. It’s somewhere in among that and I can’t give you a number but the thing. Passing, kicking, tackling, I just need to be able to move it.”

How desperate are you for a grand final against your former club? “It’s one hell of a situation, isn’t it?” he says. “I’ve been trying to sidestep that question for the last 30 weeks. I’ve always said, ‘Let’s not talk where if someone says ice your shoulder five times a day, well, I’ll ice in hypotheticals. Let’s deal with it when we cross that bridge. The bridge is here, isn’t it? It’s going to be a different week, emotionally. It’s going to be a different week, physically. But I tell you what. If I’m there on Sunday, no matter what has happened between now and then, there’s going to be no excuses come Sunday night.”

How much physio do you need? “Well, there’s only 24 hours in a day, so I can only get 24 hours’ worth. Seven days in the week. Obviously there’s a point where you cannot get things right in a certain amount of time. But there’s also a point where if someone says ice your shoulder five times a day, well I’ll ice it 10 times. If they say do treatment two times, I’ll do it another five times. It’s just how much you really want to do it.”

Who’ll make the call? Coach Trent Robinson? You? God? Science? “Trent and myself, the senior players. I like to think I’m not a selfish player and that I know what I can and can’t do. I’ll be strong enough to make the decision. The timing is a difficult one. There’s no doubt that if I don’t play, whoever does needs the repetitions at training.

“But considering the magnitude of the game, I might be given up to kick-off. Eighty per cent (fitness) would be a decent number. I’d go out there at 30 per cent. If I make the call, I’ll be right to play. Whether you think I’m a liability, a passenger or a huffy, I’ll still be out there doing my job. There’s so many shorelines. We could sit here and talk for an hour and a half about the subplots to everything that’s going on.”

He nearly did. He’s one of a kind. Before his first match for the Roosters this year, he was asked how long it would take to gel with Luke Keary. He said it would take time. Then he asked: “How long is time?” This week, it may not be long enough.