PR stunt cannot gloss over hostility between F1 teammates

LOOK at the little fellas! Nico Rosberg and Lewis Hamilton. They’re having the biggest stink since Ayrton Senna and Alain Prost.

Best of enemies Lewis Hamilton, front, and Nico Rosberg.

LOOK at the little fellas! Nico Rosberg and Lewis Hamilton. ­Giants of world sport. Tiny in the flesh. They’re having the biggest stink in Formula One since Ayrton Senna and Alain Prost.

But while Senna and Prost were hairy-chested individuals who burst with their caveman aggression and macho pride, Rosberg-Hamilton has developed a touch of the Miley Cyrus versus Taylor Swift.

The frostiness is genuine but there's something sort of humorous about the hatred. Look at the little fellas! They're doing a PR event before the Singapore Grand Prix. Look at Rosberg, bless him, three apples high, skinny as a meat-starved jockey, standing stiffly with a microphone, taking questions on how much he hates the Englishman who's standing behind him with a goofy look on his face.

Look at Hamilton, two-and-a-half apples high, bless him, too, skinny as a Taylor Swift, extracting the piss by making V-signs behind Rosberg's head, doing whatever he can to annoy his palpably uptight German mate. Hate you. Hate you more! Hate your guts. Hate your guts!

Pit lane has the same rules as the playground. Things have reached a code red when someone is hating your guts.

Rosberg is listed at 178cm and 66kg. We reckon he’s added a couple of centimetres. Hamilton is listed at 175cm and 66kg. We reckon he needs a couple of centimetres. The 177cm Swift can give him some of hers. Look at the little fellas, their roles in Mercedes’ family feud so clearly defined. Hamilton: the celebrity-loving, free-spirited, bling-wearing former world champion. Rosberg: the seemingly mirthless fella trying hard, maybe too hard, to follow in the footsteps of his flying Finn of a father, the legendary Keke Rosberg, by finally landing a world title. His greatest obstacles are the wildcard in the pack, the third-ranked cannonball that is Australian Daniel Ricciardo, all 178cm and 66kg of him, and the Pom taking the piss in the background.

Hamilton's message to Rosberg is clear. Don’t choke. You're six races from your dream. Don't choke. “I know I'm still in the hunt,” Hamilton grinned. Look at ’em! Little hands. Little feet. Little cars that go beep-beep-beep. Rosberg intentionally clipped the car of his stablemate during the Belgian Grand Prix at Spa. Hamilton was forced to retire; Ricciardo won it. It was a crucial result. The second-placed Rosberg gathered 18 championship points. Hamilton was left with nought. Son of Keke now has 238 points to Hamilton's 216 and Ricciardo's 166.

The next five races are worth 25 points to the winner. But the season-ending Abu Dhabi Grand Prix in November carries a 50-point jackpot. Hence Ricciardo's continued interest. Hence his hope that Hamilton and Rosberg will eat themselves alive.

“In Spa, I was not proud of the way it went,” Rosberg said. “I want to contribute to my sport. I want it to be the most entertaining sport in the world. If I'm able to contribute, I'm happy about that. In many ways, we are doing it.” He was alluding to a replication of Senna and Prost. Hamilton shook his head: “Personally, I don’t put us in the same ranking as the greats back in the day.”

At the Japanese Grand Prix at Suzuka in 1989, Prost would become world champion if the McLaren teammates both failed to finish the race. Courtesy of an orchestrated fender-bender, Prost made sure they both failed to finish the race. At the same track a year later, with Prost in a Ferrari, the tables were turned: Senna would be world champion if the Frenchman failed to outscore him. On the first corner, Senna swung sideways into Prost, shoving them both on to the gravel and out of the event. Animosity was everlasting.

Neither of them, it could be said, were able to meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two impostors just the same. Rosberg and Hamilton are hugely competitive but their stoush feels different. They're millionaires. They're dominating F1. Their lives don't exactly suck. None of the so-called aggression feels especially aggressive. They're forced to do PR events together.

Wednesday's venue was the Marina Bay Sands hotel. Yesterday’s double act was at the Paragon shopping complex in the heart of Orchard Road. From Hamilton to Rosberg: don't choke! “It's not a concern for me,” said the stern-faced Rosberg and the impression was gained that he doth protest too much.