Are we really meant to take LIV Golf seriously?
LIV Adelaide starts on Friday. It’ll be a hoot. It’s “golf, but louder” they say. I’m just not sure this feels like a real golf tournament.
“Golf but louder”. That’s the slogan for LIV Adelaide. I’m sure the rebel event will be a hoot, but is louder really better? I reckon the deep-and-meaningful glory of this sophisticated sport is found in the silences so thick with tension you can hear your own thrumming heartbeat.
The joy of the Masters was riding the adrenalised highs and contemplative lows of the roars and whispers at Augusta National.
Especially the whispers. The roars were deafening and gave you goosebumps the size of balatas but the intermittent explosions of emotion were only so powerful because of the dramatic silences in between.
The whispers wouldn’t have been so atmosphere-building without the promise of another roar soon enough. That was golf at its purest – and best.
Golf but louder makes me think of someone rather painful who comes for a cuppa then gives you an absolute earbashing – mindlessly makes noise and talks gibberish as if non-stop commotion and showboating is more impressive and appealing than considered pauses and occasional quiet.
You need time to think and take it all in at a golf tournament. It’s a beautiful sport and there’s no need to shout it down.
LIV Adelaide starts at the Grange on Friday. Ripper GC is the name of the Australian team of Cam Smith, Marc Leishman, Matt Jones and Lucas Herbert. Part of their preparation is picking out the song they want to hear when they step up to the plate on the par-three 12th hole. The party hole. The Watering Hole.
Basically, everyone in the stands will be well and truly watered. Sloshed. Drunk as skunks, most likely. Loud and encouraged to get louder.
“I don’t know whether to be scared or excited for the week,” Herbert says. “Obviously LIV Adelaide won the best golf event of the year award last year, so it sounded like they got it out of the way too easy. There’s a lot of hype for the week. I’m a big music guy, so picking out my walk-up songs for the party hole, I’ve been getting goosebumps every time I’ve been thinking about what that’s going to feel like, walking out to each song. Very, very excited.”
Post-round music concerts are on the schedule for the Grange Golf Club each day and a primary reason for the influx of young fans. Part sporting event, part frat party. On Friday, there’s indie pop artist Tones and I. On Saturday, there’s DJ Fisher. On Sunday, there’s electronic duo Flight Facilities. “I think I’ll definitely go to the concerts,” Smith says. “It was pretty epic last year, to be honest, and we’ve got another couple of good acts. Big weekend ahead. Too easy.”
Therein lies my problem with LIV Golf. The perception it’s all too easy. Too easy for the frat-pack players to take lightly. Too easy to regard as a weekend of entertainment rather than cutthroat golf. Too easy for real golf aficionados to dismiss as mickey mouse.
For instance, Herbert says he’s readying himself for a shoey at the Watering Hole. To do a shoey is to drink a beer from your footwear – and we’re supposed to think of this as a serious golf tournament? I think I prefer serious golf tournaments.
The Watering Hole is 151m. A short iron to a small green. LIV Golf promotes it as “one of the most raucous arenas you’ll find anywhere in golf. It’s a continuous wave of energy, surging right around the playing area. All four hospitality venues overlook the hole but each has its own unique feel. Last year the 12th witnessed LIV Golf’s first ever hole-in-one – and it went off, big time”.
I’m not suggesting it’s a dud. The frat party will be on for young and old. Big time. I’ll be tuning in. I’m just not sure that being louder than the 12th hole at Augusta National, for instance, makes the Watering Hole better.
Asked for his strongest memory from LIV’s Adelaide debut last year, Smith nominates the Watering Hole and says: “Probably the first that pops into my mind was that Friday afternoon. To be honest, I was kind of shitting myself and I probably hit the worst shot of the week, by far.
“I think I fat-flum-pushed it. It was so bad. I had about 50 metres left for my second shot. I got better gradually over the weekend. But it was pretty scary, to be honest, on that Friday afternoon.”
Jones says: “It’s a great length of a hole for that type of a hole. You’ll be hitting a club where you expect to hit a good shot to get the crowd to go crazy. I’m the same as Cam. I missed the green short right on Friday because I was a little nervous and a little intimidated by everything that was going on there. It was a great experience, though, and I can’t wait to get back there.”
Golf but louder and prouder. Golf that blows its own trumpet. Golf that demands to be seen and heard. Golf that thinks it’s better than everyone else. Golf that is overbearing. Golf that gets in your face. Golf that thinks it’s the future.
I’ve never watched a day’s play of the rebel tour and so let’s see how Friday goes. Might be a fat-flum.
Or by the time Tones and I hit the stage, perhaps I’ll have changed my tune.
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