Let’s call time-out on time-out bid

The EPL thrives on pulsating, non-stop, end-to-end ­action where sometimes tactics seem to have been forgotten and managers are mere spectators. Let’s keep it that way.

Manchester City’s Gianluigi Donnarumma receives treatment during City’s home match against Leeds. Picture: AFP

So did Man City boss Pep Guardiola really manufacture a “time-out” for his team on the weekend? The wonderfully named Leeds manager Daniel Farke definitely thinks so. And so do we. If you didn’t see it, this is how the EPL turned into the NBA for a couple of minutes: the momentum of the game has changed, Leeds are on top, man mountain City keeper Gianluigi Donnarumma goes down with injury, gets treatment, which allows Pep to gather his players near the touchline and give them the tactical advice he needs to. Donnarumma is seemingly fine and plays out the rest of the game. It’s all within the rules of the game but it left Farke unimpressed. “Why he went down, it was obvious. It is within the rules, it is smart. If it’s within the sense of fair play? If it should be this? I will keep that to myself,” he said. Don’t worry, we hear you loud and clear – and couldn’t agree more.

Now advertisers and promoters will no doubt tell you different, but the last thing the EPL needs is “time-outs” or anything that slows the game down or allows more instruction. There’s plenty of very watchable American sports if you’re into that sort of stop-start thing, but the EPL thrives on pulsating, non-stop, end-to-end ­action where sometimes tactics seem to have been forgotten and managers are just spectating like the rest of us.

There’s only been one occasion when this column’s thoughts on the issue have ­wavered, and that was when a quick Saturday afternoon drink turned into an early morning karaoke session (Def Leppard’s Pour Some Sugar On Me is the go-to, if you must know) and we found ourselves “end of the world” hung­over for our Sunday league Division “we’ve stopped counting” game. We must have asked (pleaded) for a time-out on multiple occasions but were pretty rudely rebuffed by the opposition, the ref and our fellow teammates. Actually, maybe Donnarumma had also been on the Strongbows the night before the Leeds game.

Apparently the rules are already being looked at to make sure the City situation doesn’t happen so easily again. Hurry up and sort it, we say. The EPL need time-outs like we needed that last tequila and Kenny Loggins song.

Bridge of resilience

Cracking game between Chelsea and the Gunners. We thought ­Arsenal would simply grind Chelsea down after Moises Caicedo was sent off for trying to remove Mikel “big” Merino’s ankle, but the boys from Stamford Bridge were surprisingly resilient and impressive. They could have even snatched it. They’re definitely on the up, but could they be legitimate title contenders? We don’t think, so but that probably means they’ve got a very good chance.

Spur of the moment

Are goalkeepers being told they are playing at sweeper these days or are they just plain crazy? Probably a bit of both. They’re up on the halfway line, they’re looking to snuff out through balls by charging out of their box, they’re keeping the ball at their feet, turning this way and that, channelling their best Jeremy Doku. It always seems like a disaster waiting to happen – and it regularly is. Hello Spurs custodian Vicario, who came out of his box, forgot he was a keeper for a second, tried a bit of fancy stuff and duly booted the ball straight to a Fulham player. Cue a great strike from Harry “hair band” Wilson into an empty net. All very entertaining of course. But here’s a thought for all the keeper-sweepers out there – why not stay in your box! You’re not an outfielder player no matter how much you want to be.

Touch of magic

Nick Woltemade of Newcastle United – great touch for a big man. Picture: Getty Images

We still don’t know quite what to make of Nick Woltemade, the gangly young German striker at Newcastle. We’re tempted to say he has a great touch for a big man but it’s very clichéd so we’ll just say we do think he is adept at receiving the ball and manoeuvring it for a tall and sizeable player who you might not think would be that adept. He’s a very different prospect to Liverpool runaway Isak but looks like a potentially great player in the making. For a bloke whose name sounds like he could be a character from a Harry Potter book and looks a bit like he could be a character from Harry Potter movie, his finish against Everton was magic.