How goalkeeper Redmayne saved the last dance for glee

Andrew Redmayne’s baulking song-and-dance routine helped Australia reach the World Cup in a dramatic penalty shootout against Peru. Here’s why it was allowed.

A reader suggested on Tuesday that Andrew Redmayne’s antics weren’t far removed from Trevor Chappell’s infamous underarm delivery. A bit harsh there, old mate. Redmayne had the right to flap and flop around like a balloon man in the wind. He was treading a fine line in more ways than one – but there’s sufficient wiggle room in the rules for this sort of stuff.

Redmayne was like an AFL player baulking a set shot at the MCG. Like a bloke in a skivvy and colourful pants for a children’s band. Like he was waving down a bus before it sped past his stop. Like a frog in a sock. Like ants were in his Socceroos pants, shorts, socks, gloves, beard. Like he thought his one-year-old daughter, Poppy, couldn’t see him properly on TV in Sydney and he was trying to get her attention. Over here, Poppy! Over here!

When you’re a goalie saving penalties, to quote Men Without Hats, you can dance if you want to, and so Redmayne did. He put his right foot in, he put his right foot out, he put his right foot in and then he shook it all about. He threw in a little Rocky Horror Picture Show — just a step to the left and then a jump to the right. Everyone reckoned it was The Wiggles’ Hot Potato, but it looked more like the Cold Spaghetti to me. Perhaps the Mashed Banana. All that was missing was a Michael Jackson moon walk and the yelling of the great Australian refrain. Chewy on yer boot!

The gamesmanship was undoubted but Redmayne was free to do all his mucking around because he was complying with football’s Law 14. Which states: “The defending goalkeeper must remain on the goal line, facing the kicker, between the goalposts, without touching the goalposts, crossbar or goal net, until the ball has been kicked … When the ball is kicked, the defending goalkeeper must have at least part of one foot touching, or in line with, the goal line.”

Nothing in Law 14 about the Hot Potato, Cold Spaghetti or Mashed Banana being prohibited, so Redmayne was good to go. He could have stuck out his tongue and blown raspberries if he had a foot on the line. Goalkeepers are all a bit different — think wicketkeepers and halfbacks — and his song-and-dance routine to launch the Socceroos into November’s World Cup ended with a Stephen Bradbury-style reaction of disbelief and delirium. He’ll take a similarly unlikely place in Australian sporting lore. His wife, Caitlin, said the wide-eyed, open-mouthed celebration was the face he pulled to make Poppy laugh her pretty little head off. As of Tuesday, Poppy wasn’t the only one getting a kick out of her old man.

The most heroic thing the hero did was say he wasn’t one. “I’m not going to take credit for this,” Redmayne said. “The boys ran out there for 120 minutes. It’s a team effort. I’m not a hero.”

The song-and-dance man vindicated the bravest damn call of coach Graham Arnold’s career. Off with the captain, Maty Ryan, after 120 minutes of regulation and extra time, and on with Redmayne. He ran onto the field with a smirk on his face, like he knew something pretty entertaining was coming. He dived to the right, stopped Alex Valera’s hooked ball, pulled a face for Polly. He saved the penalty, and Arnold’s career, to complete a 1008-day qualification program that came down to the blink of an eye.

Only four of the Socceroos’ 20 matches were at home. In the end, their qualification was remarkable, resilient, gutsy, thrilling. Arnold’s only failure was having his request for a public holiday fall on deaf ears.

“I called out Anthony Albanese the other day to give everyone a day off to celebrate this because I believe this is one of the greatest achievements ever, to qualify for this World Cup. the way we had to do things,” Arnold said.

“It’s been tough, but we did it. I‘m quite speechless because no-one in Australia gave us a chance. During Covid, having to train and try to do meetings and talk to the players on Zoom, it’s not my style. I didn’t like it at all and to be honest, there were times when I nearly walked away because it’s not my style of coaching. The only reason I didn’t walk away is because of the players and the sacrifices they’ve made.’’

Arnold added: “In many of our camps the players and staff were confined largely to their hotel rooms when they weren’t at the training pitch or match stadium. The dedication and sacrifice that has gone into this campaign from so many people has been immense, and as coach of Australia I am so thrilled that millions of people across our country will today be talking about the Socceroos – a team that represents modern-day Australia through its diversity and multiculturalism and unites the nation.”

Redmayne trod a fine line in a couple of ways. My first thought at the start of the shootout? Was he really allowed to do all that? He’d done his hot shoe shuffle in the A-League for Sydney FC, but this was the world stage. It was allowed because he was treading another fine line, the white one he was stopping the ball from crossing.

Redmayne revealed his conversation with the referee before he blocked the final kick. Redmayne was told to not run off in celebrations because the video official would need to check if he had indeed trod the fine line without moving off it. When the result was confirmed and the wildest of the celebrations were done, Ryan kissed the top of Redmayne’s head.

“Maty was full of support when he was coming off and then just before the penalties, he was pumping me up and getting me ready and asking if there was anything I needed,” Redmayne said. “I’m glad I played a small role tonight. At the end of the day, it’s the flip of a coin. It’s either right or left.”