Death of a dream: Sam Kerr’s football fantasy for Matildas can now never be realised

Sam Kerr walked back onto the pitch three times, as if it couldn’t be over. The Matildas might win gold in Paris or a World Cup, but her biggest dream is lost.

After full-time, Sam Kerr was coming to grips with the shocking reality that her greatest footballing dream could now never be realised. Picture: Getty Images

Three times Sam Kerr walked to the dugout. Three times she walked back onto the pitch. As if there had to be more time on the clock. As if it couldn’t be over. As if there must be one more chance to conjure the miracle. Large globs of tears were in her eyes. Her bottom lip trembled. She took an age to admit defeat and slowly trudge up the players tunnel – a snail-paced, inconsolable, moping, slack-jawed, shoulder-slumped woman coming to grips with the shocking reality that her greatest footballing dream could now never be realised.

Not ever. That’s the enormity of the loss to Kerr. The Matildas might win a gold medal at the Paris Olympics. That’s a dream in itself. They might win the next World Cup at a venue yet to be announced. That’s another dream in itself. FIFA is as slow to announce the host nation for 2027 as Wednesday night’s referee was to blow her whistle when England played with the clear intention of kicking Kerr to death. It was ugly, but here’s the thing the Lionesses will tell you about winning ugly. You win.

No England player had half the skill of Kerr, writes Will Swanton. Picture: AFP

No England player had half the skill of Kerr. So they did their level best to test her out physically. Sort her out. Take her out, if they could. The shinbones on Kerr that earned Alex Greenwood a yellow card – she had no interest in the ball. It appeared a blatant attempt to injure Kerr, who’d been sidelined with a calf injury. We digress. The main point here is that even though Olympic gold at Paris and a World Cup win at Venue X can both be mighty achievements for Kerr and the Matildas, her highest of highs was to win a World Cup in her own backyard. This was it, this was the big one, her life’s work. This was the trophy she’d swap all others for. She will never get another chance, hence her slow departure from her field of disappointment and hellish screams. She played great. Pushed herself beyond breaking point. She tried and then she cried. Such is football, sport and life, but the inevitability of hardship doesn’t ease the pain.

The pain in Kerr of knowing whatever she does from here, she cannot win a World Cup in Australia. She’ll be beating herself up for converting only one of her five opportunities to score. The most difficult one. If she was fitter and faster and more match-slick, if her dynamism wasn’t compromised by her injury lay-off, she might have buried the lot. Her four close shaves were a great chance, a very decent chance, a semi-chance and a long shot. She gets next to no satisfaction from the goal she did score: a classic example of a never-say-die athlete clawing herself off the canvas through sheer desperation and will. Kerr was cooked. Spent. She looked ready to be replaced. She could barely jog around the park and yet the ball came to her in space, the adrenaline kicked in and she scored a mighty goal that was the Cathy Freeman you have when it doesn’t end up being a real Cathy Freeman moment. To do a Cathy, you’ve gotta have a win.

Rather than celebrate her spine-tingling goal after full-time, it merely added to Kerr’s disappointment. What could have been.

To the misses. Football comes down to moments in time, right? Two hours of football can be decided by five separate seconds. These are the moments Kerr plays for. Lives for. They’re her bread-and-butter, the moments when she consistently changes the course of a match in the blinking of an eye and twinkling of the foot. For her to take one from five of the opportunities she craved … fully fit, she’s better than that. Her effort and influence was mighty. She poured her heart onto Stadium Australia and should be proud of herself but for years to come, even if she says publicly it’s just sport and these things happen, she’s a fierce competitor who hates losing with a rare passion. Which is why she’ll be kicking herself over the following moments in time.

A Moment In Time In The Seventh Minute: Katrina Gorry’s tenacious move paid off. A stolen ball by the terrier midfielder. A perfect long pass to Kerr like she’d cast a fishing line. Kerr was free as a bird. One-on-one against England goalkeeper Mary Earps. She was running at full speed. One nudge of the ball. It ever-so-fractionally got too far ahead of her. Gave Earps time to crab forward and smother. Kerr put a good left boot to the ball but it rebounded from Earp’s legs. Put Kerr in a solo battle with a ‘keeper and nine times out of ten she’ll score. What could have been? One-nil to the Matildas could have been before Albo had knocked the top off his first beer.

A Moment In Time In the 67th Minute: An hour of limited involvement. Dodgem-car defenders in her path. A whole lot of involvement was upcoming. The Matildas were 1-0 down. Credit to Ella Toone for England’s goal. It was a scrappy buildup but Toone’s inside-out strike was a beauty. Deserved to be rewarded. But it was back to one-all after Kerr’s goal. At least we got to see her in full glorious cry once in the tournament. Anyone wondering what the fuss around her was about, why we kept calling her the best player in the world … there’s your proof. You couldn’t throw a boomeranging with that much swerving accuracy. The Matildas were humming. So was Stadium Australia. Kerr was on fire. You could have sworn it was meant to be. So could she. She leapt into a whiplash reverse midfield header for Caitlin Foord that was brilliant. All momentum with the Australians. She was huffing and puffing, hands went to her hips at every break in play, but then she found energy when you could have sworn there was none. A delightful ball came her way from Kyra Cooney-Cross. A header from Kerr, an outside chance but a chance nonetheless. She’s scored more difficult ones off her skull. She got plenty of head on it, her back to the net, but the ball speared straight into Earps’ arms. Kerr’s hands went to her head. Her eyes grew big. What could have been.

A Moment In Time In The 82nd Minute: A quick throw-in from Caitlin Foord to Steph Catley. Ball to Mary Fowler. Her razzle-dazzle. She spun and shook off a defender. Looked up. Looked for Kerr. Chipped the ball like Cam Smith at St Andrews. Exquisite touch. Another Kerr header, a great chance. Not easy but again an opportunity she’s taken umpteen times in the past. Kerr nudged it over the crossbar.

A Moment In Time In The 85th Minute: The Matildas trailed 1-2 after conceding the first of two soft late goals. Neither of them should have happened. Watertight defence broke down. But right here, there was still a strut in the Matildas step. They were thrown the hammers, tongs, kitchen sink, utensils, fridge and microwave at an equaliser. A corner. Kerr hung back a little, away from the pack, hoping for a rebound. England captain Millie Bright looked around for Kerr, found her and yelled at her teammates, there she is! There she is. Kerr found exactly what she wanted. The ball lobbing her way without a defender in her face. A volley from close range. Huge chance. More likely to score than not. Who didn’t get to their feet and shout, Sam! She struck it pretty well. Missed. Her reaction was painful. She grimaced so deeply her face might have caved in. She looked mortified. Hands on her head again. She could barely breath. Kerr-tains for the Matildas.

Kerr scored one of her five opportunities on Wednesday night. Picture: Getty Images

She looked over at coach Tony Gustavsson. He didn’t see her. He was down on his haunches. Cap off. Running his fingers through his hair. Staring at the ground positioned like Rodin’s The Thinker. Gustavsson thought a World Cup win was written in the stars. Right there in front of him, a 3-1 defeat was being penned in the dirt.