Uncanny X-Man sends Australia to cusp of World Cup semi-finals

With Australia’s World Cup campaign on the ropes, one of its least fashionable players has come to the rescue.

Adam Zampa, centre, celebrates the wicket of Afif Hossain with captain Aaron Finch, left, and keeper Matthew Wade Picture: Getty Images

I tried valiantly to watch Australia versus Bangladesh. Failed. I’m no night owl and nodded off after two balls. Things hung in the balance at the time. The Bangers were 0-1 … anyone’s game.

Friday morning, I saw a photo of diamond Dave Warner with his left arm wrapped around a player I failed to recognise. That’s a rarity, to look at an Australian cricketer and think, who the hell is that?! He sort of looked like a sawn-off Marcus Stoinis. A congratulatory headline was in large type. Australia In Beast Mode. Bangladesh had been flogged; the Australians were on the cusp of the T20 World Cup semi-finals.

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I had no idea who Warner was hugging. Had they plucked a bloke from the crowd? Player X reminded me of the two times I thought I would play for Australia. When I was a kid, I was sure I was on my way to the Test side. First step would be getting picked in the NSW Schoolboys team. Had a decent carnival at Tamworth. But when the selectors read out the wicketkeeper-batsman, when I was already getting out of my seat to acknowledge the rapturous applause, they’d gone for some big-eared cowboy called Adam Gilchrist from Lismore. Damn fools, those selectors. A slogger like him would never amount to much.

A decade later, I was covering a tour of India. Three-quarters of the squad came down with Delhi belly. Bryce McGain, in a desperate bid to avoid poohing his pants while batting, waddled off like he was Jared Tallent in the final of the Olympic walk. A polite inquiry from team management to the press box. If we need someone to field, any of you clowns actually know what you’re doing? I had visions of making such a grand impression that I would be rushed into the proper Test squad. Probably make a hundred at Bangalore. Journalism be damned. Sadly, it never happened. Never got to field. Dream scuppered.

Anyway. Closer inspection of the mystery photo revealed Player X to be Adam Zampa. His old hairstyle used to give him the appearance of Brian Mannix from Uncanny X-Men. No matter how well he bowled, it was kind of difficult to take him seriously. He’s sporting a more respectable ‘do at the World Cup and his bowling has never held more merit. He missed a hat-trick when Matthew Wade botched a catch. Gilchrist would never have dropped that, not even as a schoolboy.

Zampa’s 5-19 was a zippy little man-of-the-match display that means Australia may be in the semi-finals by the time we wake on Sunday morning. His hair and Australia’s T20 team have become as unrecognisable as each other. Previously, all over the shop. You could barely look at ‘em. Things have been tidied up nicely. Improvements have been made. All Australia has to do to reach the final four is beat the West Indies on Saturday (9pm AEDT for the night owls.) If England beats South Africa in the following game, Australia’s likely through regardless of the result against the Windies.

Zampa is a curious cat. He cannot get a look in at Test level because of Nathan Lyon. He’s probably behind Mitchell Swepson as a Test leggie. Yet in the most challenging format for wrist-spinners, he’s the man. Fun fact: he isn’t even the world’s most famous Adam Zampa. That honour belongs to the Adam Zampa who’s a Slovakian Olympic skier.

This one’s not bad, though, and he was on a hat-trick when he sized up Taskin Ahmed from the top of his shuffling run-up.

“Because I got the two wickets three overs before my next ball, I actually didn’t think anyone else knew I was on a hat-trick,” he said. “I actually wanted it that way because I didn’t want the batsman to know, either. I said, ‘Oh, Wadey. That was my hat-trick, mate’. He said, ‘I know. I tried to catch it for you’.”

Which was good of Wade, eh? At least he tried to catch it.

The Windies are coming off a terrible tournament. They’ve reverted to being more expert in hitting nightclubs than boundaries. The defending champions cannot reach the semi-finals. They’ll either be recklessly spectacular or a total shemozzle.

“Pretty important game for us, as everyone knows,” Zampa said. “They’re such a dangerous side, particularly for me personally as a spin bowler. They’ve got guys who can hit it out of the park, so I’m going to have to be on my game. But we’ve got the big quicks who we feel like will be an ace against these guys.”

Zampa didn’t start the carnage against Bangladesh. Towering pacemen Mitchell Starc (2-21), Josh Hazlewood (2-8) and Pat Cummings roughed them up before the uncanny X-man skittled the middle order and tail. He finished with his best international T20 figures and the second best by an Australian, eclipsed only by Ashton Agar’s 6-30 against New Zealand earlier this year. A six-for went begging when Wade grassed a touch chance, low and to his left, off the outside edge of Ahmed. He’d previously been sharp as Zampa’s new haircut, taking a neat chance off Zampa’s bowling and a diving leg-side catch off Starc.